Courtney S. Barr

Welcome to My Kingdom!
Join me, the Princess, on my Royal Adventures in the Land of Writing!

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Blood... Pain...MURDER SCENE BLOGFEST!

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Oh the brilliant, wonderful, crazy and seemingly dark Anne Riley is hosting today's blogfest...

A MURDER SCENE!!!

*SCREAMS-ECHO-THROUGH-MYHOUSE*

This one was new for me - it was late Friday night, in the dark, that I wrote the kill...
so you are warned....
Be sure to check out everyone else's entries...I am sure they will keep you up tonight..

*MUAHAHAHAHAHA*
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White goosebumps appeared along the soft curve of her neck. Trailing fingers across the skin raised thoughts of silk, raw and slippery.

The whimper that escaped between glossy pink lips was music in its most carnal form. Flesh squirmed against the leather, the soft curves of her hips molded into the cushion as she tried to escaped into the chair.

There is no where for her to go. I wonder why she tries?

Her eyes were covered with cloth, making her acutely aware of her surroundings. Every step that I made she reacted. It was a game now.

I would run my hand over the chair making the leather speak and she would jump like a rabbit.

The sound of my toe tapping on the floor made her tears flow freely. Then there was when I would press the blade against the steel. At just the right angle the blade would release a shrill metallic scream and her body would almost convulse in fear.

It was beautiful.

Large glass doors behind her mirrored my every move. It was my own private reality show.

I think perhaps she has waited long enough.

My cheeks burned from the smile. It was too much, I need to do it too badly.

Perhaps I should wait?

Her breathing had turned into hiccups.

No. Hiccups annoy me.

I leaned over and slid the blade's dull edge against her arm. Laughter bubbled into my throat as she bounced in the chair; rope dug deeper into her ankles with every movement.

Flipping the knife over I made a small incision on her wrist. Crimson flowed against her blue jeans creating a splotchy design on her right leg.

Awww, that's not right, its uneven now.

I began to make incisions everywhere, at first she wiggled, fighting blindly. Her head whipped in every direction trying to find where the next slice would happen.

It was hilarious.

After dozens of cuts the boredom was too much and the mess would be unseemly.

Laying the knife down on the table I waited to see how much strength she had wasted. The last few cuts were large and she was bleeding so much now that the whimper was gone. I pulled off her blindfold to see her eyes were rolled back.

It would not be long before she was no longer any fun at all. Resigned to boredom there is nothing left to do but finish.

Well, she's ruined the chair...hmmmm...

Pulling the chair towards the sliding doors I had an idea. Quickly I gathered the supplies and put them on the patio. The ground was still damp from all the rain.

Perfect!

My breathing was labored after finally getting her at the edge of the grass. Turning her towards the woods so that she could have a good view.

I poured the foul liquid over her head, careful to not let it get on my new shoes.

The martini I had made glistened in the moonlight; the candles I had placed for ambiance reflected in the doors. Sliding down onto the chaise lounge I got comfortable and picked up the book that I had been reading before she had come into the house.

What on earth was he thinking, telling his mistress to meet him here? tsk tsk Ah well, she'll do.

Smiling, I lit the match, lighting the candles one by one. I watched the flames flicker for a moment before tossing another match towards the chair.

Tall orange flames ignited as I turned the page to chapter one; sipping dry gin with a twist of lime my body relaxed.

Nothing like a good book by a roaring fire.

31 comments:

  1. oh my gosh - creepy to be in the pov of a killer. great details and so callous. I don't think I'm up to this blogfest. I'm having a hard time killing off the bad guys in my WIP.

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  2. Creepy is right. Eek! Kept me on the edge of my (non-leather) chair.

    Awesome last line.

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  3. Mary - this is the first murder scene I think I have every really written, I mean in a way there have been others by I like to call them Dying Scenes...this was different for me - but it was fun! You may want to give it a go -you will do fantastic! Thanks for reading & stopping by this morning! ;o)

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  4. Tara - missed you while I was "talking" to Mary. Thanks - yeah my leather chair in my living room sparked that idea...I am looking at the chair differently today.........

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  5. Wow! Excellent job of getting into the head of your MC. The tension was fantastic.

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  6. Good job, Courtney! I love reading from the killer's POV!

    Nice ending line. :-)

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  7. Dude, you are missing your genre calling. You got this murder thing down, girl. That was hardcore...and awesome. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that last line.

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  8. I love this. Very creepy because you do such a great job on the inside of the killer's head. I really like first person, and you handle it well. :)

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  9. Denise - thanks for stopping by this morning! ;o) I am glad you enjoyed the tension.. ;o)

    Summer - as always thank you for visiting the Kingdom! I started to do a different POV but it did not feel right...so I went into her head...crazy stuff in there ;o)

    Lola - Ah! My Wolfpack Leader!! Thank you for trotting over to the Kingdom. lol thank you for the kind compliment - um, this particular scene was a real step out for me but I really enjoyed it. I am glad you liked it. ;o)

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  10. sarahjayne - thanks! I am so glad you enjoyed it. It really was probably a bit too easy to get into that mind once I got going.... *winks*

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  11. To be pulled into the cold, cruel thoughts of a sadistic killer is quite an experience. Brrr. You pulled it off expertly.

    Come check out my entry :
    http://rolandyeomans.blogspot.com/

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  12. That is definitely creepy-city! Very chilling and disturbing! You did a great job immersing us into that pov!

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  13. I loved that it was POV of the killer! So deranged...and I love the last line (for so many reasons I can't explain).

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  14. If this is your first murder scene - you did a fantastic job! I was riveted the entire way through. Loved it!

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  15. Oh, my Lord! That is so twisted! Who knew you had it in you, er... good lady?

    The little details like "I run my hand over the chair making the leather speak" are awesome.

    But the book by the roaring fire thing? Evil genius. Yowza!

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  16. Uhhh
    This is really wrong.
    Definitely the most murdery murder scene I've read so far!
    Couple nits-how does she cry through a blindfold? What steel is he running the blade over? Does she scream? The candles seem to be lit...then he lights them.

    The hiccups were a nice touch.
    Good job!

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  17. Roland - thank you for visiting! I am glad you enjoyed it - loved yours as well!

    Amalia - So glad you stopped by! I am happy you enjoyed the POV. It was definitely fun. ;o)

    Heather - Thanks! I just had to do it from that POV. It was the only way anything would flow... kinda weird...when I think about it lol

    Jaydee - I appreciate the comment. Yes, my very first murder scene. It was daunting but such a nice change...nice may be the wrong word...;o)

    Simon - lol! Yeah, my husband was surprised too. Not my normal style, but fun. I actually had him sit in our leather chair and squirm a little to understand the sounds. He was not sure about being the subject of this one! ;o)

    Iapetus99 - as always thank you for your comments & notes! You had me re-reading some areas...As for the steel, its the tool used to sharpen a knife & it is the sound that is the scream (that I could clarify more when I update the scene for my archives - thanks); I could see how I accidentally made it appear that the candles are lit by (the line about their reflection) I meant that it is just the candle not the flame reflecting - I will have to think on how to clarify this one). THANK YOU SO MUCH! for your nits (I love them every time ;o) ) So glad you enjoyed it.

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  18. *shudder*

    Very unsettling, indeed!

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  19. Very creepy! I was afraid to read it too closely, LOL.

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  20. Whoa! I wouldn't want to mess with your protagonist. I love the line about the martini glistening...

    Nice!

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  21. I love that you had it in first pov, with the killer narrating it. Very nice. ;)

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  22. That was disturbing. The POV made it that much more real. And the glee and boredome, such everyday emotions coupled with the heinousness of the actions was chilling. I did feel like I'd witnessed a murder.

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  23. I really liked that you wrote from the POV of a psychopath. And I loved the last line. It was priceless.

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  24. Love it! The last line is superb. I so want to write in the POV of one of my killers (I write mystery), but I'm a total wuss about going there. Well done!

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  25. Princess, you sure write a creepy killer. I don't think I want to sit in my leather chair, all of a sudden.

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  26. Totally creepy awesomeness! Love it! Love the ending too ;)

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  27. maybe genius - glad to make you shudder ;o) Always good to see you stop by!

    Jordan - lol very creepy is a great compliment for this blogfest - Thanks!

    Talli - Always fun to see you pop in!Glad you enjoyed it!

    Ashelynn - Thanks, I discovered that first person realy worked in this instance.

    Raquel - lol, glad it was disturbing ;o) My husband said the same - that he felt like he was really watching one...glad to give the image.

    Embee - Thanks for visiting the Kingdom! I am glad you enjoyed it! I could not resist the last line... ;o)

    VR - Thanks! Oh you should so give it a try. I prefer 1st for almost all my manuscripts and was unsure about this scene in 1st but to be honest it just felt right. You can do it!

    Elaine - Thanks, I have come to realize that creepy is a great compliment with this blogfest! Yeah...I am looking differently at mine now too...

    Jemi - Thanks so much! I love that you thought it was "creepy awesomeness!" It was really a blast. Glad you enjoyed it.

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  28. Wow. Creepy insane killers right before bed is not a good idea. This is like the 4th one of these I've read in a row *shudders*

    Great job, though, since you've helped to scare the sleep out of me :)

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  29. Very interesting. I have read very few horror scenes told from the killers pov. It was creepy and I would love to read more! I am a new follower to your blog and look forward to reading more of your work.

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  30. Holy schmokes, you know how to do creepy well. I would not have thought it of you, missie. Yikes. Gave me the shivers. Mission accomplished!

    Nice job, chickie.

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  31. Rebecca - yeah I would definitely not read these before bedtime! ;o) Glad you enjoyed it!

    F - WELCOME TO THE KINGDOM!!! I hope that you visit often and that you enjoy the craziness of Royal life *wink*. I am glad you enjoyed the murder scene. It is a scene that was very new for me.

    Carol - Hey girl! I know! My husband was like: um, you just might freak me out...lol. Glad to give you shivers! Thanks for stopping by ;o)

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