Wading Through Menopause While Projecting a Good Attitude....

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you...we are in charge of our Attitudes."

- Charles R Swindoll

***

I have never been someone who delights in angry situations, who chooses to get mad rather than let it go. I work hard to keep my attitude in check. It is on occasion that I let it slip, that I snap at someone or take it out on those closest to me when really they have nothing to do with the issue at hand. Like most of us it is easy to blame the mood on hormones (the lack of or overload), a bad day at work or just because I don't feel right.  Lately I have been the subject of many discussions pertaining to moods. Not that I have had bad ones or anything more that I am a little like a lab rat being watched by those closest to me. You see after all the physical changes from December there are assumptions about how my attitude and demeanor may/might/will/won't change:
"Well, she needs to be on hormones, they will really help." "Go ahead and get her to a shrink, it will help your marriage. My wife went crazy after her hysterectomy." "I don't know man, I mean, they say women just don't handle the hormone changes well...maybe she will be different." "So is she acting any different?" "How is Courtney? How is she handling everything?" 

Yes, there are new things I am learning about. I never thought at 31 I would be wading through menopause searching desperately for any air conditioner, fan, iceberg that might lead me to wherever it is I won't sweat through my clothes at the drop of a hat or that I would be experiencing insomnia like nothing before. (The fact that I can no longer carry a child obviously is a hilarious irony to the fact that I am getting less sleep than I would with a newborn). Even with these new things to learn about I am trying to take everything in stride. I am in no way angry, upset or disappointed in how my life has evolved. I know that there are things that I cannot control and that the way I approach them relates to the way I progress through this life, it affects the attitude that I project onto others. Yes, I have down days, days where I imagine things differently - but even in those moments I have a supreme amount of clarity. I KNOW that I am here today because of amazing people who had the right attitude when they dealt with my rare case. I KNOW that the attitude they had when talking to me about everything helped mold my response. I trusted them because of their own convictions and because their attitude made me feel more at peace with the changes I would encounter. My attitude toward recovery helped my husband and my family relax. So Mr. Swindoll was quite right in his statement: We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. It may seem too easy or some days too difficult but either way it is always our choice. I am choosing to see the silver lining each day. I am choosing to look at the blessings I am given and acknowledge their greatness. I am selecting an attitude that hopefully will leave a positive imprint on everyone I encounter....So what will your attitude be today?

Holding On and Letting Go...

"It's everything you wanted, It's everything you don't. It's one door swinging open and one door swinging closed. Some prayers find an answer, some prayers never know. Holding on and Letting go."

-Ross Copperman, Holding On and Letting Go

***

There are songs in this life that touch me. That move me to moments of clarity and make me feel as though someone out there understands. This one has been on repeat for the last month. I talk often about how you must live to be able to write. You must recognize that it is this amazing world around us that reminds us how great a story can be. Life inspires us to dream beyond the realities we see every day. It reminds us that in the pages of a book great love can be found, great pain can be survived and great things can happen to those who feel they are lost among the wreckage. Words found on clean crisp pages tell us to remember that evil can be defeated, that cancer can be beaten before it begins, that loss can bring us to a place where we appreciate all that we have.

Losing options in life is not something we always think of. We are built to be hopeful, to look to the good things and to overcome the dark times. Occasionally we give in, we let the sadness creep up our bodies and steal a little of the sunlight. I strive everyday to not let darkness cloud my mind, my life or my heart. I know that losing options is inevitable in life. We often lose them because we choose to, we choose another path, we walk in a different direction and never look back. This past December I lost an option. We chose to take a direction that will forever remove the possibility of holding a mini me or a mini version of my husband. We did not do this blindly or out of the blue. Our window was rapidly sliding closed and I know that God stood with me at every discussion, during the surgery, after it, and as I sit here. I am discovering, as my recovery progresses, that life is worth even more than I originally knew. Faith flows through me and yet I let the hard time cloud my mind, each day I work to rise above it. My recovery is painful, but less than some; it is long, but shorter than others; it is a time where I am understanding what it all means; it is a process. We often hold on to things that really should be released. I am still clinging to the things I will never get to experience...I know this. Each day I am forcing myself to let go, bit by bit, chunk by chunk and to remember that Holding on and Letting Go is a part of life. We don't always get what we ask for, but that doesn't mean we are not exactly where we are supposed to be, doing exactly what we are supposed to do and learning the lesson meant just for us. We must have faith that as we let go we are giving our problems, our issues and our troubles to our Faith. We are letting it go, trusting our life will be guided by a loving God.

I am so blessed. Today I am writing again. Words that hopefully will help someone else, will bring them some sort of comfort, happiness or compassion. I don't know if it will be successful, but the fact that I am sitting here, that I am thinking about life, talking to family, loving my dog and my husband... well it means that sometimes we just have to wade through what we let go and recognize the things we get to hold onto, that we get to enjoy. Don't ever let a supposed unanswered prayer take you down a dark road. Because you are where you need to be, sometimes you just need to recognize that the options in front of you may be foreign but they are yours and yours alone. Climb out of the dark, find the light and see that life gives you so many options that even when you think they are gone another one will slide into place..... and that sometimes, every so often we are blessed to be able to recognize how amazing this life is and it is worth inspiring each and every one of us to be better, to use our talents, to discover new ones and to live.

Solid Advice for a Writer.....

“The most solid advice for a writer is this, I think: Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when you sleep really to sleep. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell. And when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.” – William Saroyan

***

Greetings from the South! Fall weather is here, trying desperately to flirt with a Southern Winter every now and then; dang if the girl isn’t flirting back every couple of days.

The house is full of activity. Football games on the weekends, homework on the weeknights, movies, books, art festivals, music, laughter, writing, and living. William Saroyan was quite right in his assessment for a writer. We get bogged down sometimes in characters, plotlines, settings, grammar and word counts. We often slip into our fictional worlds and shut off the one around us.  His words remind me that we must pull from the life we are leading in order to bring our fictional worlds alive. If we forget to experience, to observe, to enjoy then we are shortchanging the characters we love. For them to breathe we must give them emotions, give them life experiences, give them knowledge or hide from them what they need not know just yet…So take his advice. Live. You just might find that whatever has you bogged down in your writing will be released and discovery is one of the best side effects life has to offer.

My Saturdays Make Me Smile....

Every weekend from August to January we have plans. Actual plans. Not just "oh we may or may not be doing something." No this is Type-A - Set - In -Stone plans. They aren't even plans made by me, really. The University of Alabama owns my Saturdays during these months. What I love is not only the boys on the field, but that these plans are not only best laid they are best overall. They are set in stone in that I know for a fact that for 3.5 hours the University of Alabama owns my attention but I also know that around those 3.5 hours I find myself in a bevy of the most wonderful activities...

Every Saturday we wake up, sometimes at home if the game is in Tuscaloosa, sometimes in a hotel room as we travel to whatever town is hosting us. We have breakfast, catch College Gameday and begin the day with whichever games are the early ones. There are days where I see my kitchen and listen more than see the other games. Where scents of delicious tailgate food wafts through my home. There are days where before or after the game some shopping takes place. It may be to familiar stores or perhaps discovering a wonderful place specific to the region. We meet new people and catch up with familiar faces. We host family members and friends. We get grouchy when the game goes in a bad direction and euphoric when it goes our way. Your emotions ride a wonderful roller coaster of fandom unlike any other. ALL these factors, ALL these variables could make some people go crazy...

Yet somehow every weekend, even when the work week has been crazy, even when the weather has played ping pong with my sinuses, even when airports make you really wonder how trains might be, even when the season is not as great on the field as you hoped...it still ends up being a time where memories are created, moments are suspended in time and life reminds me how beautiful it is to love something completely out of my control ...

ROLL TIDE!

Monday Memos...By Order of this Author

Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. By Order of the Author.

-Mark Twain

***

Mark Twain has been visiting my house a great deal lately. He popped up on a summer reading list for the Resident 17 year old and again when I was at Lowe's selecting Mark Twain Brown as a color for my staircase treads (who knew). He has settled in nicely as a topic of discussion and now as a pretty good eye for color. His introductions to his work are sometimes the most intriguing look into a man that took life very seriously but was able to convey his social observances with a wit, charm and honesty that Southern hospitality loves to chastise openly and celebrate in quiet reverence when not in public.(let's just say I am sure there were tons of "Bless his heart" when he first began sharing his thoughts).

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is by far one of my favorite pieces of classic literature. A story that contains more than just human characters, Twain was able to make a river a third dynamic character with its meandering currents and symbolic essence of freedom. He found a way to weave not only everything he banishes us from seeing into each setting, nuance, and dialect loaded dialogue. He truly crafted a piece of art.

Isn't that what we all hope for. That our words on the page become a living breathing piece of history. We know that not everyone will love it, that those who dislike it have their reasons and those who embrace it become our biggest marketing campaigns. Writing is definitely a risk. One that we take on every time we sit down with an MS or blog entry. We open a door from our mind/hearts directly for the public to peek into. They can dissect our ideas, discuss our feelings and dissuade/persuade others from stopping by as well. Its a risky business. But I love it. It is a business where one must develop discipline, must question ideas, look differently at character and develop the understanding that reviewing things more than once is tedious only if you forget how wonderful the outcome will be. Discovering adverbs, adjectives, conclusive outcomes, exciting cliffhangers, dangerous romances and delicious character flaws is just part of the process.

Twain said this in a letter to Orion Clemens on March 23, 1878: "You need not expect to get your book right the first time. Go to work and revamp or rewrite it. God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention. These are God's adjectives. You thunder and lightning too much; the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by."

Right now, this author is working through a story that has captivated her husband, though he is quite perturbed not to be yet let in on the plot directions, and reminded her how much fun it is to discover new things within a new world. But be forewarned, continuous work will help me make sure that my "thunder and lightning" appear at the right moments, time will allow me to develop characters that I love, twizzlers will help me with all the cravings, support from my family will give me strength and Mark Twain will remind me that once it is written I need only to let it go to live a life all its own...By Order of the Author.

Around the Blogs today:

Lisa Schroeder teases us with talk of video blogs tomorrow - so tune in!

Talli Roland has the queasies over sending out Watching Willow Watts..go over and help calm her nerves, Oh and read chapter 1...

Shannon Messenger explains her own reasons why WriteOnCon craziness is something she does out of love (plus see the agenda in her post for the conference)

Natalie Bahm talks priorities, writing and family.

Have a Memorable Monday!

Breathing life into an MS beyond the inertia...

"If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don't write, because our culture has no use for it."

-Anais Nin

***

I don't like the word inertia...well some weekends I do; but on the whole I really don't. I enjoy relaxing after a long day's work, but there must first be that long day, that work to then enjoy what relaxation is all about.

All summer long I have been in a state of inertia when it comes to writing. The storm shook me up a bit, then we held the fundraiser and now school has begun for my resident 17 year old. Life is never boring, but inertia can still exist within areas that seem to be a constant movement. That is scary part about inertia. We think that we are moving, that we are being productive but really we are just performing a rote action. We have lost the excitement, the feeling of accomplishment, the ambition, the desire to better improve; we are just going along with the motions pretending that we are moving.

I was at a service last weekend that discussed life, creating habits, and looking at something you do every day differently. The application was more geared to prayer but I would be losing a great deal of the message if I did not apply it to other areas as well. I realized that writing before the storm had become a bit rote. I wasn't excited when I opened the file and I wasn't missing it when I was away. That isn't good. I had let the entire summer pass me by and had barely done anything with the story except go through the motions.

So last night I decided to apply the message to my own story. To sit down, to open the file, to read my words and see beyond what letters on the page spelled out and to breathe life back into the story. It was fulfilling to move forward, to no longer sit on the edge of something I truly desire to witness in all its elements. I broke it apart and saw myself looking at the characters, settings, and plot more openly. It is not ready to be shelved, in fact a brand new direction came out the endeavor.

Inertia had me thinking that it was time to give up but fresh air, an open mind and the desire to better the work has me now excited to see where the next scene is going...

What do you do when the words seem to be lackluster on the page? Do you give up immediately or do you work through the issues and discover something new? How do you know when it is truly time to shelve the work or it just needs an afternoon in the sun?

Throat, Promise, Forget, Splendor, Hex and....Pee

Throat,

Promise,

Forget,

Splendor,

Hex,

Pee

6 words, 6 very different words.

But those 6 words made for one of the BEST afternoons among authors, writers, & fans.

Oh yeah, you heard me.

I wasn't sure what an afternoon at the Homewood Public Library would showcase on a Saturday. I can promise you that those 6 words were not what I would have guessed beforehand.

The lovely members of Southern Magic hosted 5 sensational authors:

R.A. Nelson (The 6'3" sweetheart who works at Nasa by the way)

Chandra Sparks Taylor( the ever so lovely mother who is ever so brave with her manuscript revisions)

Jennifer Echols (an engaging blonde with wit that will have you doubled over - sarcasm has met its match!)

Rosemary Clement-Moore (a perky author whose grin is infectious plus! OMG Scooby Doo's team WISHES they had someone like her)

Rachel Hawkins ( the honest, hilarious, friendly, married to a scientist author who enjoys torturing her husband with finger injuries)

The room was simple, almost classroom set up. Around 25 people sat and listened to these lovely authors discuss methods, talk about getting "the phone call" and just chatting about how if you are going to be an author then there are no excuses - WRITE!

Laughter flowed around the room as stories were shared, excitement permeated the air as tidbits of upcoming projects were whispered and the feeling of camaraderie was inescapable.

I found myself enjoying every single minute of the afternoon. At the end of their questions we were all invited up to purchase or bring books to sign. But this was not like an overwhelming, large signing, you weren't ushered up to the table then asked to politely scurry away. No, they were there to "MEET and greet". You could ask questions and find yourself in a lengthy discussion with an author you love, you could shyly hand over a book that you traveled all the way from Carollton, Georgia with your parents and friends to have signed by someone who creates worlds you want to live in.

As time passed and people began to slip out I found myself talking to the lovely Crystal (my cohort in ALL 4 ALABAMA) and her friend Natalie. We were the last 3 in the room - EVERYONE had cleared out. We had been talking books, donations, contributors, writing, bidders, everything when to our surprise bounced in the lovely Rosemary Clement-Moore. Yep. She was waiting on her friend who had accompanied her and saw us still standing around gabbing.

She did not run from the lingering fans - she ran to us. She thanked us for the event. For attending and enjoying it. She then told us why she was still in the building: Nature called. She had to pee and somehow this rolled into how you pee before perfoming on stage and then Natalie chimed in with a pregnancy and pee story...yeah... the things we writers discuss! It isn't a full day until bodily functions enter your discussions and by golly if you can get a celebrated author to join in - well congrats! It was a blast.

So 6 words. 6 very different words.

Combined together make 1 lovely afternoon that I would do over again and again....

A Great Loss for the Writing and Storytelling Communities...

"I think we need to be put back in touch with our childhood...to be reminded of what's important, like memories about people we loved, or things that happened to us that affected our lives, things we can laugh about and shed a few tears about... I think storytelling is a way of saying 'I love you. I love you enough to tell you something that means a great deal to me.' "

-- Kathryn Tucker Windham

***

If you don't know who Jeffrey the ghost is, boy did you miss out on childhood ghost stories that could make you shiver and laugh in one sitting. He lived at Windham house and he created quite a stir for many years...

I spent my childhood reading of course, reading anything and everything I could get my hands on. Shakespeare, Faulker, Dickinson, Alcott, Austen, Pike, Stine, Pascal, Keene and so many others...as you can see my genre choices were quite varied. In the mix were two names that are famous not only to many parts of the world but are royalty in my neck of the woods: Lee & Tucker. Harper Lee wrote the famous "To Kill A Mockingbird" - the stirring book that faces problems with race, culture and ignorance from the eyes of children - she lives only 35 minutes down the road (literally) from my childhood home.

Then there is Tucker. Kathryn Tucker Windham - she brought to our attention a little ghost by the name of Jeffrey but she also helped all of us learn the rich ghost stories and heritage of our beloved South. She did not just make up stories for us to imagine, she traveled to the areas that had for many years before her time had been passing down the legends, the horrors, the comedies and the tragedies that encompass any small town. She retold those stories, made towns no bigger than your thumb famous, helped tell visitors why they should jump off the interstate and seek the scenic rather than the quick. She was someone who believed that history could be passed down by word of mouth & written word when told in the vernacular of its beginnings. She began a festival in the historic town of Selma Alabama...a Tale Tellin' Festival that I was blessed to go to as a child. She would be at many festivals as I grew up...she would sign her books, smile at you with a broad brim hat on her head and she would open her mouth to begin telling a tale that would touch you for a lifetime. She was one of those, in my group of beloved authors, who helped me understand that I could be whoever I wanted to be. That I could stand tall on my heritage and could write, could write what I wanted and enjoy it throughout my life. She inspired me by loving what she did so much.

Before her storytelling made her famous she just so happened to become one of the first female reporters to cover a police beat in a major Southern daily in 1939. Men were going to war; she needed a job and she had talent. She already loved photography and at a young age had been a jr reporter for her hometown of Thomasville's paper...her hometown by the way...is around 28 minutes from my own. Such talent so close to home...crazy how small our world is.

Storytelling is an art. Being able to relay information that not only informs but ignites ideas, memories, sorrow, and happiness for the listener is an amazing gift. She did not always write it down like us writers do in order to imprint it on her fans' minds, she could do it with her voice, the intonation, the inflection of syllable by syllable. Her art won many types of recognition, I am sure she was quite thankful. But to be honest having seen her in the flesh, having listened to her and read her stories I know that the accolades were important because they brought attention to something she loved not just that they brought attention to her. She reminded us that our legacies, our past, our heritage is worth passing down. It is important to those yet to come that we give them this gift, this loving wonderful gift of who we are.

Kathryn Tucker Windham died yesterday. She was 93. She lived a long life full of adventures that we are so blessed to even know about. She will be sorely missed and will forever be a part of my own dreams of being a writer. But even more importantly she is truly the reason I enjoy Southern heritage so much. She made it interesting, she made it unique and she made it real.

Go to your local bookstore, see if they carry any of her books. Visit Amazon.com and order a book about a ghost named Jeffrey. He will make you smile, I promise.