- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
For some time we have had some questions from people who hear bits & pieces about the process. My darling M addressed one question in particular in a manner that is in my opinion – perfect. We have been asked “why are you having to get the house in order and clean and rearrange for Social Worker R to visit? Its like she’s judging how you live?” So in the theme of keeping these posts utterly real, I must admit the questions are not foreign to us. We have internally thought or spoken them aloud between the two of us. But my lovely M in his wonderful perception responded Thursday to a friend “Well, I thought the same. I do still feel like we are being judged but I am beginning to understand it differently. This woman, Social Worker R, is our warrior in the trenches; she is the one sitting in the meetings, talking to birthmothers, speaking up when children will become available and gosh darn it we want her to think of us first. So if remodeling the deck, cleaning baseboards, purging clutter and finally hanging pictures on the wall that we have wanted to for months will trigger some small part of her thought process to suggest us…then we will do it and we will do it well.”
He’s right. She is our warrior.
On Thursday she inspected our little castle and we believe she fell in love with it. She was supportive in our idiosyncrasies, those lovely personal surprises that we chose not to hide and she asked questions that made me comfortable to have her there. We talked about our story, we talked as a couple who has discovered the meaning of trial, survival, support and love. She spoke to Duchess’; learning about her hopes, dreams, and goals and also marveling at how we three look so much alike. When she left I didn’t want to vomit anymore – it was touch and go for a few days leading up to it, my nerves almost had the best of me. She spent a good 4 hours with us and it was good….we pray that she felt the same.
On Saturday we attended our first day of “training”. Going into this day we felt a little silly and thought it a bit odd to be doing a training day. We were wrong in our assumptions and we found ourselves in the midst of one of the most amazing days so far. In a quite chilly student center room we were honored to openly discuss our perception of the birthmother, the adoption and the process. About 14 couples talked among ourselves, filled out a short questionnaire and listened to social worker “R” for around 40 minutes. Then we were blessed to have in our midst a birthmother. One whose story will touch any soul and reminded us of the faces behind the varying circumstances that bring them to the decisions they make. She spoke of us praying for our birthmother. She reminded us that no matter how the birthmother came into her situation, that she is making the decision of life for her child. For that we are forever grateful. God’s presence in that room of hopeful parents was so strong. He stood there with us as we listened to her story and I know that her testimony of His love and His faith in her was a moment He always knew would happen and how wonderful it was for us to be a part of something so powerful.