Courtney S. Barr

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Join me, the Princess, on my Royal Adventures in the Land of Writing!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Let's Talk Blogfest

Roni over at Fiction Groupie decided to host a Let's Talk BlogFest! In other words the blog should be filled with chattering bloggers all day today! I decided to do a switch type of conversation - you know where one thing is going on then the mood changes drastically hopefully leaving you perplexed and intrigued. :o)
After you have eavesdropped on the below conversation scoot over and check out all the other chatterboxes who participated...Now come on let's get talking!
***

A sound much like hooves clapping on the stone floor had me turning. My best friend Emily was barreling down the hallway.

"Andrea! Wait!"

Long black hair swung from side to side as she skidded to a stop in front of me. Her ragged breathing escaped her lips and her hand pressed against her side was trembling. The red and white cheerleader uniform was rumpled from what looked like a make out session with Bobby, her overzealous Neanderthal boyfriend.

"Are you okay? You're all pink and sweaty...please tell me you've been running and that the sweat is ONLY from running...." Leaning forward I could smell cologne. Yep, Bobby was here.

"S-s-s-sorry. Give me... a minute to breathe." She faced her shoelaces while taking slow gulps of air.

I could not help but cringe. Bobby is a tool who only dates her because of her boobs and her math scores. Seriously guys can be disgusting!

"Okay. Here's the deal.. are you ready?" Her voice no longer sounded raspy and worn out now all I could hear was high tones with a squeal dying to break through.

"Just spill it Em."

"Grady Rutledge....HAS THE HOTS FOR YOU!!!! HOLY BANANA CAKES!"

And there's the squeal. Her eyes were wide with excitement and I knew that if I just blew this off she would be crushed, but I was not sure I could handle another one of her matchmaking failures if I gave her any inclination that I would be interested.

"Em...hon...sorry but, um, Grady is not exactly the type of guy I want to date. Sorry." I tried hard to smile but really I wanted to scream.

Emily decided that when Bobby asked her out she was determined to find me a boyfriend. I had not protested too much thinking what could she possibly do. But after the fifth guy showed up at my parents unannounced and completely not my type I put my foot down. She had to run any prospect by me FIRST!

"Why not Andrea? He's adorable and captain of the basketball team. He's smart. He looks great in uniform and well, he's you know..." Her voice died down as she became extremely interested in the pleats of her skirt.

"What Em? What is he?" The books in my bag were growing heavy and I was about to be late for work.

"He's the last one Andrea. There is no one else in the school appropriate to date. If not him...then well...you're like all alone."

A laugh tried to burst through my lips as her eyes drooped in despair. She acted as though it were the end of the world.

"It's okay, Em. I promise." Tugging her ponytail I smiled. She frowned but nodded.

"I've got to get to practice...let me know if you change your mind. I have his number, address and an email so I can get him anytime any place for your inspection!"

I am not sure if she should be selling real estate or boyfriends but either way Em would be great.

"Okay. Thanks. I'll call you later."

The pity in her eyes had me holding the laughter back again. I loved Em dearly, but when it comes to guys there is no stopping her belief in status symbol and the high school perspective. There were other things my mind had been on lately and basketball captains were not it.

Every night was a challenge to sleep. My dreams were becoming unbearable. All I remembered each morning was a voice and two words.

A glance at my wrist reminded me I would be late for work if I did not leave now.

Bright sunshine warmed my face as I stepped into the parking lot. Only a few cars remained, mostly belonging to basketball players and cheerleaders. My red Mazda glinted in the sun.

Satisfaction washed over me.

I had worked all summer for that car. It wasn't new but it was mine. Smiling I stopped at the hood to pull out the keys.

"Hello."

Startled I turned towards the voice, slinging my back pack to the ground and scattering my notebooks everywhere. Immediately I bent to scoop them up. Glancing towards the sound I saw someone moving towards me.

"Sorry. I did not mean to scare you. Here let me help."

"It's fine. I don't know why I reacted so badly. I guess I was in my own little world. You know how that is, right?"

He chuckled. It was a low sound, throaty and masculine. A hint of rasp made it edgy. I looked over at the stranger helping me and almost lost my balance.

"Yeah. I understand completely being lost in your own world. I'm Saldon by the way."

He was unreal. Bent down beside me was a boy with midnight hair, olive skin and silver eyes.

Silver eyes. They almost looked translucent in the sunlight, a caged glimpse of moonlight in the middle of the day.

He grinned at me and I reached out to steady myself. Grabbing my wrist we stood up together.

"Saldon?" I whispered. Why did I have the urge to speak softly? "That's a peculiar name."

"Family name. My cousin calls me Sal. I hate that. But Saldon sounds like an industrial solvent so what do you do?" He smiled again watching my face with those eyes. Eyes that had me wanting to touch him.

I wanted to chuckle, act nonchalant but I felt frozen, terrified and excited. Why am I a little afraid of him?

"Are you okay?" He waved his hand in front of my face. "You look a little dazed. Are you okay to drive?"

Slowly I nodded my head, my feet crunching in the gravel lot as I moved towards the driver's side.

"Yes. I am fine. I just...I guess its the heat." Turning away from his face I took a deep breath. My hand was about to grasp the door handle when he opened it for me. I had not heard him move.

"I'll get that. By the way, my car -" he motioned towards an old Camaro; black and dusty sitting at the edge of the tree line. "It won't start - would you mind giving me a ride up the road?"

Hesitating I looked from the car back to his face. The silver seemed darker more of a slate gray now. I had not seen him by the car but I also had not seen him at all until he'd spoken.

"I'm not so sure...I mean I have to get to work. I'm sorry." Looking at his eyes made it hard to speak. I wanted desperately to say yes but something held me back.

"Oh. Well I see. But what if I can promise you will get to work on time?" The hesitancy in his own voice had my skin tingling.

"How? I only have like five minutes and its across town? My car does not need to go that fast - it would honestly cry." I motioned to my Mazda. Sure it was clean and all but let's face it - it's no speedster.

"Trust me." Two tiny words and my heartbeat acted erratically. I could feel the air around me closing in and my head felt light. I looked back at his eyes and found the silver had returned. My stomach rolled and my fingers flexed. The dreams...

"Why?" The word lingered between us as I stared at him. The need to know clawed at my throat and had me wanting to run.

"Because you need to see something Andrea. I promise I won't hurt you."

My breath hitched unexpectedly. My name. He'd said my name. Had I said my name before? No. Oh God, the dream...what happens in the dream?

"Why me?" My voice was low as I watched his eyes over the door frame. I could have sworn I saw pain in his eyes before he spoke.

"I have no idea." With that he closed the door and got in on the other side. "I just know it has to be you."

Turning the key I started the engine. In the distance I could see the football fields where Em was practicing and the players were warming up. The building in front of me stood tall and welcoming. I glanced at my passenger to see him watching me and a shiver danced along my skin. Fear skirted the edge of my thoughts but excitement still hovered in my mind.

"Where are we going?"

He took a deep breath and held out his hand; palm up. At first I just stared then slowly I moved my hand to his. The contact was comforting and disturbing all at once. It made him real.

"Just sit back and I'll take care of everything."

***
Have a Tantalizing Tuesday!

36 comments:

  1. OH MY GOD! I so want to read more of this! This was chilling and funny and enticing all at the same time. GREAT JOB!

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  2. oooh intriguing. i want to know what's going to happen!

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  3. OH OH OH!!! I so want to read this entire story now. I'm trembling in my chair with anticipation. Super job! and More PLEASE!

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  4. Love the transition! What happens next?!?! :-)

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  5. Tantalizing indeed! (Hugs)Indigo

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  6. Anne (P.W.) - thanks so much! I am glad you enjoyed it! This has been a great week of blogfests! ;o)

    Falen - thanks! Its a pleasure to have you stop by!

    Charity - lol SO glad you enjoyed it! I am happy it got you intrigued!

    Summer - thanks. lol you just might have to wait and see...

    Indigo - Always a pleasure to see you here! Glad you enjoyed it!

    Christina - lol. Yes. sigh is right. Sigh again and again, trust me. ;o)

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  7. Wow. I'm dying to know what happens next! Great job. :)

    Also, thought you might want to know your link on Fiction Groupie isn't working.

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  8. Never trust a boy with silver eyes. Especially if you've met them in your dreams. Great suspenseful dialogue at the end. I wanted to read more. Roland

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  9. Abby - Thanks so glad that you enjoyed it! and Thanks so much for the info. I went and added myself again to the list so that it would have the correct link. ;o)

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  10. Roland - you snuck in here when I was answering Abby! Thanks so much. Yes he definitely holds an interesting change of events for Andrea! Glad you enjoyed it!

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  11. So where's the rest of it? Seriously, I want to read it. I love this line.. "The red and white cheerleader uniform was rumpled from what looked like a make out session with Bobby, her overzealous Neanderthal boyfriend."
    Love it!

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  12. *gasp* When can I have this whole thing?!?!

    You did great with both dialogues - and the switch between them. Nice.

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  13. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

    Okay, I'm officially mad at you. How can you write something so good, with some completely laugh out loud lines, and then leave me here desperately wanting to know what happens next? *pouts*

    The only thing I would suggest changing is the line "Sorry. I did not mean to scare you. Here let me help." And just have him say "I didn't mean" I think it would flow better that way.

    But other than that... I could go on and on about how well this was written. I truly enjoyed this, thanks you for sharing :D

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  14. Christine - lol thanks! I am glad you enjoyed it so much! For some reason I could picture Bobby perfect in my mind and Neanderthal was just the right word ;o)

    Lola - lol thanks! I am glad to see you back!

    Tara - Always a pleasure to see you here! lol Maybe soon, but to be honest I have another one in front of this one! *winks* I am glad you enjoyed it.

    Aching Hope - LOL! sorry to make you pout! I am so happy you enjoyed it! Thank you for the suggestion. Honestly when I type for some unearthly reason I always type out the contractions!!!! It drives me bonkers when revising. I cannot type "can't" the first go round! For some voices I find the contraction works best yet my fingers ignore my brain. I agree here his voice is better with the "didn't". Thank you - you saved me from having to catch it later ;o)

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  15. Ok, that's just cruel. I'm hooked. What happens next?

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  16. Okay, not fair...where's the rest of it!? Very intruiging start. You can sure turn a phrase: a caged glimpse of moonlight in the middle of the day.

    Whew! He sounds striking. I loved the humor also and the line about his name sounding like solvent.

    Great writing...

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  17. Great story promise. A bit spooky, and agreed that the metaphors were spot-on (moon eyes and solvent name! wonderful!)

    - Eric

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  18. Great hook, I definitely want to know what happens! And really like your MC's voice.

    (And because the critiquer in me cannot be shut off, just a heads up that you need to watch your tense in some of the areas. The whole thing is in past tense then you have sections like below that switch to present:

    I am not sure if she should be selling real estate or boyfriends but either way Em would be great.

    The pity in her eyes had me holding the laughter back again. I loved (PAST) Em dearly, but when it comes (PRESENT) to guys there is (PRESENT) no stopping her belief in status symbol and the high school perspective. There were (PAST) other things my mind had been on lately and basketball captains were not it.)

    Thanks for participating!

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  19. Engaging, fast-paced scene -- fun to read! The dialog sounded realistic. Loved the silver eyes. Best of luck with this project!!

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  20. Very nice and definitely intriguing. You had me at silver eyes.

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  21. I got so engrossed in your story I was disappointed when it ended. I would definitely want to finish reading this if I picked it up in a book store. Great Dialogue. Loved it!

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  22. Holy cliffhanger!!! That's so tantalizing.
    Liked this a lot.
    "Silver eyes. They almost looked translucent in the sunlight, a caged glimpse of moonlight in the middle of the day."
    Mmmm... good stuff.
    http://jostorm.blogspot.com/

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  23. This is awesome! Your dialogue reads authentically, like teenagers are actually talking. Plus I like Saldon already. :)

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  24. Terrific! Like the contrast in the girls and the entrance of Saldon - nicely done!

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  25. Love the exchange between Andrea and Saldon. Captures the emotions perfectly.

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  26. 'Yep, Bobby was here' 'squeal dying to break through' Ha! You got me smiling right away. Love the voice. And then, zoom, you took me somewhere else where it's exciting and scary and I really need to know what's going to happen!

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  27. You suck--for leaving us hanging:) I think the votes are in that you must post more. Fish on the line with nothing further to eat but the bait! Loved the characters. They were all very distinct and realistic. I was very easily pulled into the story, especially once you introduced the catalyst. Nicely done!

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  28. Very intriguing scene. I'm really curious about her dreams, and the idea that this guy is LITERALLY the man of her dreams is kind of fun.

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  29. Loved the exchange between Em and the mc. Very intriguing at the end, too. A great hook.

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  30. Awesome scene Courtney!! Except for the part where it ended and there wasn't anynore!! :(

    Great job!

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  31. HOLY BANANA CAKES, what a great scene! ; P

    Very smooth read, leaves you (i.e. me) wanting for more!

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  32. Holy Guacomole! I agree with everyone else - where's the rest? What is he? Why is she dreaming about him? WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? Great job - very engaging. Lots of fun :D

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  33. Hello, Saldon! Where have you been all my life? This is awesome, your highness, methinks you have a poet in you. Some of the lines just popped off the page. Lyrical.

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  34. lol! You are all quite wonderful, do you know that?

    This is a portion of a work in progress so you may see more.... *wink*

    Seriously - I appreciate all the well wishes and am truly glad you enjoyed it.

    As always it is a pleasure to have each of you here in the Kingdom!

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