tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post7543222275995844653..comments2024-03-18T08:14:08.610-05:00Comments on Southern Princess: Let's Talk BlogfestCourtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-5957729591326673002010-05-20T08:39:57.866-05:002010-05-20T08:39:57.866-05:00lol! You are all quite wonderful, do you know that...lol! You are all quite wonderful, do you know that? <br /><br />This is a portion of a work in progress so you may see more.... *wink*<br /><br />Seriously - I appreciate all the well wishes and am truly glad you enjoyed it.<br /><br />As always it is a pleasure to have each of you here in the Kingdom!Courtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-71103214364015851942010-05-20T04:48:57.841-05:002010-05-20T04:48:57.841-05:00Hello, Saldon! Where have you been all my life? Th...Hello, Saldon! Where have you been all my life? This is awesome, your highness, methinks you have a poet in you. Some of the lines just popped off the page. Lyrical.Tina Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05914428134837892539noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-54881639026026687732010-05-20T00:21:48.426-05:002010-05-20T00:21:48.426-05:00Holy Guacomole! I agree with everyone else - where...Holy Guacomole! I agree with everyone else - where's the rest? What is he? Why is she dreaming about him? WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? Great job - very engaging. Lots of fun :DRebecca T.https://www.blogger.com/profile/11994380364321336824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-50030019376494871862010-05-19T16:24:11.001-05:002010-05-19T16:24:11.001-05:00HOLY BANANA CAKES, what a great scene! ; P
Very ...HOLY BANANA CAKES, what a great scene! ; P <br /><br />Very smooth read, leaves you (i.e. me) wanting for more!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11046724975658216337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-32429146372142068942010-05-19T14:05:46.482-05:002010-05-19T14:05:46.482-05:00Awesome scene Courtney!! Except for the part wher...Awesome scene Courtney!! Except for the part where it ended and there wasn't anynore!! :(<br /><br />Great job!DL Hammonshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02007260062331783715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-55895474267404300172010-05-19T13:58:17.821-05:002010-05-19T13:58:17.821-05:00Loved the exchange between Em and the mc. Very in...Loved the exchange between Em and the mc. Very intriguing at the end, too. A great hook.Shellihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03068094486297918345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-2365416393105967462010-05-19T13:38:06.268-05:002010-05-19T13:38:06.268-05:00Very intriguing scene. I'm really curious abou...Very intriguing scene. I'm really curious about her dreams, and the idea that this guy is LITERALLY the man of her dreams is kind of fun.Amalia Dillinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13005039978668326144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-80015477814406726102010-05-19T12:46:34.598-05:002010-05-19T12:46:34.598-05:00You suck--for leaving us hanging:) I think the vo...You suck--for leaving us hanging:) I think the votes are in that you must post more. Fish on the line with nothing further to eat but the bait! Loved the characters. They were all very distinct and realistic. I was very easily pulled into the story, especially once you introduced the catalyst. Nicely done!Angela McCallisterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10610798614001745001noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-84801746651309955972010-05-19T09:50:56.610-05:002010-05-19T09:50:56.610-05:00'Yep, Bobby was here' 'squeal dying to...'Yep, Bobby was here' 'squeal dying to break through' Ha! You got me smiling right away. Love the voice. And then, zoom, you took me somewhere else where it's exciting and scary and I really need to know what's going to happen!Tricia J. O'Brienhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05993110400088806252noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-51054410306429490732010-05-18T23:14:41.901-05:002010-05-18T23:14:41.901-05:00Love the exchange between Andrea and Saldon. Capt...Love the exchange between Andrea and Saldon. Captures the emotions perfectly.WritersBlockNZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13666986327836276744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-19876810940658104002010-05-18T19:30:29.049-05:002010-05-18T19:30:29.049-05:00Terrific! Like the contrast in the girls and the e...Terrific! Like the contrast in the girls and the entrance of Saldon - nicely done!Jemi Fraserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214408467456320167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-32368965006390321922010-05-18T19:07:07.565-05:002010-05-18T19:07:07.565-05:00This is awesome! Your dialogue reads authenticall...This is awesome! Your dialogue reads authentically, like teenagers are actually talking. Plus I like Saldon already. :)Shelley Slyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07981620646634240160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-20494603703518168462010-05-18T17:58:58.182-05:002010-05-18T17:58:58.182-05:00Holy cliffhanger!!! That's so tantalizing.
Lik...Holy cliffhanger!!! That's so tantalizing.<br />Liked this a lot.<br /> "Silver eyes. They almost looked translucent in the sunlight, a caged glimpse of moonlight in the middle of the day." <br />Mmmm... good stuff.<br />http://jostorm.blogspot.com/Jo Schafferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11514820971898568397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-41059382037911848812010-05-18T17:00:53.550-05:002010-05-18T17:00:53.550-05:00I got so engrossed in your story I was disappointe...I got so engrossed in your story I was disappointed when it ended. I would definitely want to finish reading this if I picked it up in a book store. Great Dialogue. Loved it!Write Chickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10688559534731990798noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-59493618043918982932010-05-18T16:38:20.679-05:002010-05-18T16:38:20.679-05:00Very nice and definitely intriguing. You had me at...Very nice and definitely intriguing. You had me at silver eyes.Katiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06851403823244758904noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-45629845617669110032010-05-18T15:54:44.444-05:002010-05-18T15:54:44.444-05:00Engaging, fast-paced scene -- fun to read! The di...Engaging, fast-paced scene -- fun to read! The dialog sounded realistic. Loved the silver eyes. Best of luck with this project!!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01899768909313326172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-9389067087398843512010-05-18T15:50:04.276-05:002010-05-18T15:50:04.276-05:00Great hook, I definitely want to know what happens...Great hook, I definitely want to know what happens! And really like your MC's voice.<br /><br />(And because the critiquer in me cannot be shut off, just a heads up that you need to watch your tense in some of the areas. The whole thing is in past tense then you have sections like below that switch to present:<br /><br />I am not sure if she should be selling real estate or boyfriends but either way Em would be great.<br /><br />The pity in her eyes had me holding the laughter back again. I loved (PAST) Em dearly, but when it comes (PRESENT) to guys there is (PRESENT) no stopping her belief in status symbol and the high school perspective. There were (PAST) other things my mind had been on lately and basketball captains were not it.)<br /><br />Thanks for participating!Roni Lorenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02719679344024635326noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-22468392927424831912010-05-18T14:35:40.953-05:002010-05-18T14:35:40.953-05:00Great story promise. A bit spooky, and agreed that...Great story promise. A bit spooky, and agreed that the metaphors were spot-on (moon eyes and solvent name! wonderful!)<br /><br /> - EricEric W. Tranthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13842968931062056407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-59339919459720517872010-05-18T13:26:46.372-05:002010-05-18T13:26:46.372-05:00Okay, not fair...where's the rest of it!? Ver...Okay, not fair...where's the rest of it!? Very intruiging start. You can sure turn a phrase: a caged glimpse of moonlight in the middle of the day. <br /><br />Whew! He sounds striking. I loved the humor also and the line about his name sounding like solvent. <br /><br />Great writing...Raquel Byrneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12870113745683162915noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-3580057646855355272010-05-18T13:14:17.743-05:002010-05-18T13:14:17.743-05:00Ok, that's just cruel. I'm hooked. What ha...Ok, that's just cruel. I'm hooked. What happens next?VR Barkowskihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04927993233682731113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-89840237842510422792010-05-18T12:35:51.297-05:002010-05-18T12:35:51.297-05:00Christine - lol thanks! I am glad you enjoyed it s...Christine - lol thanks! I am glad you enjoyed it so much! For some reason I could picture Bobby perfect in my mind and Neanderthal was just the right word ;o)<br /><br />Lola - lol thanks! I am glad to see you back!<br /><br />Tara - Always a pleasure to see you here! lol Maybe soon, but to be honest I have another one in front of this one! *winks* I am glad you enjoyed it. <br /><br />Aching Hope - LOL! sorry to make you pout! I am so happy you enjoyed it! Thank you for the suggestion. Honestly when I type for some unearthly reason I always type out the contractions!!!! It drives me bonkers when revising. I cannot type "can't" the first go round! For some voices I find the contraction works best yet my fingers ignore my brain. I agree here his voice is better with the "didn't". Thank you - you saved me from having to catch it later ;o)Courtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-53929619894105311402010-05-18T12:26:26.357-05:002010-05-18T12:26:26.357-05:00AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Okay, I'm officially mad at yo...AHHHHHHHHHHHH!<br /><br />Okay, I'm officially mad at you. How can you write something so good, with some completely laugh out loud lines, and then leave me here desperately wanting to know what happens next? *pouts*<br /><br />The only thing I would suggest changing is the line "Sorry. I did not mean to scare you. Here let me help." And just have him say "I didn't mean" I think it would flow better that way.<br /><br />But other than that... I could go on and on about how well this was written. I truly enjoyed this, thanks you for sharing :DAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09222233412304660376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-70045194455473753072010-05-18T12:07:54.014-05:002010-05-18T12:07:54.014-05:00*gasp* When can I have this whole thing?!?!
You d...*gasp* When can I have this whole thing?!?!<br /><br />You did great with both dialogues - and the switch between them. Nice.Tarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09008153523366719973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-7205156408570590702010-05-18T12:01:35.885-05:002010-05-18T12:01:35.885-05:00I WANT MORE!!!!
Love,
LolaI WANT MORE!!!!<br /><br />Love,<br />LolaLola Sharphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14394765053485642935noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-42983942286483976272010-05-18T11:34:36.758-05:002010-05-18T11:34:36.758-05:00So where's the rest of it? Seriously, I want t...So where's the rest of it? Seriously, I want to read it. I love this line.. "The red and white cheerleader uniform was rumpled from what looked like a make out session with Bobby, her overzealous Neanderthal boyfriend."<br />Love it!Christine Danekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00979611961825725350noreply@blogger.com