Courtney S. Barr

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Monday, September 1, 2008


Okay so today is September 1st. SEPTEMBER. You just cannot imagine how bizarre that is for me right now. I still feel like it is July 12 and I am waiting for August 1st to arrive. It has been as though the last 5 weeks have passed in slow motion & too quickly all at the same time. Days have melded into weeks, pain has born itself in my movements then is slowly allowing me to feel semi-normal. My mind is still wrapping itself around things. I know that having lost only one ovary removed is the best of my terrible situation, but I do feel like something is missing. I definitely know that I have changed - mentally - and that change is still a bit overwhelming. I am sifting through these adjustments. Trust me I have had time to reflect on what I want to do for me & my family; it is now a matter of movement forward.
There are a million things out there for any one of us to try & fail or try & succeed. My list is one that is not all new to my own mind, but those around me might be surprised. So here I am welcoming TIME. I return to work tomorrow - feeling quite a bit like a teenager returning from summer vacation. Only rather than wondering who will be wearing what & who hooked up with who, I am pondering what will I do, where will this step in my life take me & what will it take for me to reach whatever goal/star/moment that I am looking forward to, because as we all know it is the journey not the destination. So what will TIME grant me? I can only hope that my eyes are open wide enough to recognize the ticking hands on the clock & that I will take advantage of every moment.....


  1. Good luck on your first day back... honestly are you getting excited... like the first day of school when you pick out your first real outfit again? I hope you make it without being to tired! We love you and miss you so much!

  2. Taking your time is actually a really good thing. I pray that your eyes are open and you find what you are looking for. Being fulfilled in what you do is the best part of any job. Enjoy the ride!!!! Love ya.


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