A Lost Girlfriend....

I lost a girlfriend yesterday. She was 13 years old, had blonde hair, brown eyes, and a cold wet nose. She was my companion, my best friend, my confidant, my protector, my heart, and my soul. She taught me the value of loving unconditionally. She loved me even after I moved away for an internship, when I know she must have thought I abandoned her, yet she loved me maybe more when I returned. She loved grass, barking at nothing, being independent, full of life. She was adaptable, blindness could not slow her down, other dogs did not slow her down. She found great love in 'brother' rottweiler Bear. They became fast friends, respectful, nurturing, a family. She accepted every place I drug her to, from small apartments to big houses, from no yard, to acres, she was fine so long as her family was there. She was a 13 year old girl's fulfilled wish, and a 26 year old young woman's valued love one. She saw my heart bloom with Marcus, never once showing jealousy, she openly loved him, openly gave her approval, and for that I am forever thankful.

I could not sleep last night for even though she had left to join her Bear, I still heard her. The veil was still so thin that her spirit was making sure I was okay. I heard her throughout the house, her nails on the laminate, her slight nesting noise as she crawled into her bed. The confident movement that my mind heard was not of the blind older girl who left, I think it was to let me know she was whole again, she was good. I had the most amazing peaceful feeling around 3 a.m. I was praying just sort of talking to God, Bear, & Bubbles; Letting Bear know she was no longer blind so the feisty wench now had better sight, he should watch out :) I "heard" her again and in my mind memories took over: her in the grass in Camden (she loved for you to throw blades of grass in the air she would chase them and bark); her in my first apartment curled up in the big oversized chair, me & her eating grilled cheese and watching I Love Lucy; her asleep on Marcus's legs on the couch at my parents when I was 16; her on her back her hair all crazy sleeping on a pillow; her scratching her belly on the carpet & she did this ripple & growl thing cause it felt so good; her asleep beside Bear when he got so sick; then there she was at the top of the stairs waiting for us to walk up from work... at that moment, I knew she was okay. She stayed these last 8 weeks I think to help us because we were sad, but her sadness was even greater. She needed him & more than that Bear needed her. God has the best two treasures up there welcoming other people's family members. They now can watch over us all the time, I know they will worry, but I also know that soon we will 'add' another to their family, never replace, and that they will be with me helping me make a choice & I will have their approval when it is time.

Tracy's words about Bear are still some of the most comforting: "Just remember that he had a great life with AMAZING "parents" and that he'll be waiting for you up there just like he was waiting for you everyday when you came home, ready to play and love you" Only this time she will be waiting for me at the top of the stairs, ready to be scratched, to throw grass in the air, and to love us unconditionally....

I love my girl. She was born to Prince Albert & Queen Victoria, a true Princess. Bubbles will forever be the best girlfriend I ever had. May her and Bear stir up as much trouble as they can...

The List: Purse

Here are pics (just for Tracy) :)

Well guess what got the purse!!! A new one, beautiful pebble leather, COLE HAAN, white with beautiful embroidery curling around the base. Short strap, large bag, with pockets on the ends, can hold everything!!! I LOVE IT!!! (the best part, I did not have to buy it, Marcus lost a bet a while back about bowling on the Wii, plus I was injured & sick last week so it also covers my "went to the doctor so I get a prize" prize and the rest is history....) YIPPEE!!! Just had to take a second to post! :)

Frustrated Reading

Murder 101 by Maggie Barbieri-Okay this book was one of those that I was not exactly sure what to expect, but an author's review of "If you love Agatha Christie, Sue Grafton and Sara Peretsky, you'll be delighted by Murder 101..." well that sold me. I really like the story line, but the choppy flow really was uncomfortable reading. The main character, Alison, is suspected in a murder due to the dead body that was found in the trunk of her car (obviously causing suspicion). A hunky detective helps her along the mystery of who committed the murder, and there are a few really good climactic scenes, but the love interest between the two seems under developed & about the time you get really interested in their connection, she hits you with a black screen. I recommend reading it for the murder mystery, I really liked the process of the investigation, but I was not impressed with the side of romance, really could have been left out if it was going to develop as it did. Anyway, that is my read for 6-15-07.

The song I most like to sing lately...

Corinne Bailey Rae - Put Your Records On
Three little birds, sat on my window.
And they told me I don't need to worry.
Summer came like cinnamon
So sweet, Little girls double-dutch on the concrete.
Maybe sometimes, we got it wrong, but it's alright
The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same
Oh, don't you hesitate.
Go, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams, Just go ahead, let your hair down.
You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.
Blue as the sky, sombre and lonely,
Sipping tea in the bar by the road side,
(just relax, just relax)
Don't you let those other boys fool you,
Gotta love that afro hairdo.
Maybe sometimes, we feel afraid, but it's alright
The more you stay the same, the more they seem to change.
Don't you think it's strange?
Go, put your records on,
tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans,
I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.
You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.
Just more than I could take, pity for pity's sake
Some nights kept me awake, I thought that I was stronger
When you gonna realise, that you don't even have to try any longer.
Do what you want to.
Go, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.
Go, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.
Oh, You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow

The List: Books

A little time has passed since my last entry and I feel a bit upset that I have not blogged lately. The last posts were so focused on inner discoveries & self worth that they have really plagued my attitude & mind. Making my TOP 25 list was probably one of my favorite things that I have done in quite a while. Obviously the most recent posts are evidence that I am at least attempting to really follow it & see results. The book area is actually progressing nicely as well. I thought that I might post my reading updates & book reviews through out the summer, who knows maybe one I read might encourage one of you to comment on it if you have read it or inspire you to pick it up yourself.

Books Read the Week of 6-4-2007:

1. Reflections & Dreams by Nora Roberts - Dramatic Romance - (This is actually two books in one.) Oh my gosh. Great romance. Nothing cheesy or two icky, these focused on two couples whose lives intertwine and definitely it focuses on that concept we all occasionally fall into: seeing what is right in front of you. The first is about a prima ballerina who has to give up the dancer's life of stage & fame due to an accident that finds her father dead & her mother crippled. She moves back home to help her mother & opens a studio of her own to teach young girls ballet. There is a huge house on the hill above the ocean that has always fascinated her & it just so happens that a young man Seth & his young niece Ruth (who's parents have past away recently) move into it. The niece is becoming an amazing ballerina herself who has idolized the main character (Lindsey) since the first thought of dance. She is withdrawn & shy due to her recent loss, and her uncle obviously loves her a great deal due to he moved her there so she could study under Lindsay, but he is a mystery at that. He falls quickly for Lindsay, but she is so hesitant. It is a wonderful story of believing in what you are made of, the choices/paths we choose, and letting go. (2) The second part of the novel is based on Ruth & the fact that she has progressed to prima ballerina after Lindsays tutilege and now resides in New York. Her story is more about what is in front of you, taking hold of the moment, but also realizing who is there to stand with you & understand that moment. The love story is quite funny & interesting as you see her realize her love for a teacher who once was the main dance partner of Lindsay. He loved her from the moment he first saw her dance but was too stubborn to acknowledge that it was love. Good book.
2. Inkheart by Cornelia Funke - Young Adult Fantasy -this book was interesting. It is supposedly being made into a movie for 2008. It is about a young girl & her father, a 'book doctor' who repairs old or worn books. They travel a great deal, never staying in one place for too long. They both LOVE to read, books are their sanctuary. I totally understood that concept. But one day a stranger comes to call upon their door, a fire-eater named Dustfinger, who calls her father not by his name (Mortimer) but Silvertongue. Then the book becomes an odd twist, a seriously fantastical voyage. Where the daughter discovers a gift her father has: if he reads aloud from a book his words paint the most beautiful pictures in his listeners mind, only they aren't just painted, characters, items from the books he reads appear, now lost in this world & sometimes people, things from ours disappear into the books. Yes, he read a terrible villain out of book in the past & his past is about to catch up with him. I seriously reccommend this book. It starts a bit slow, but then you just get wrapped up in the journey you cannot put it down. It also has some of the best literary quotes at each chapter, each significant to what the chapter will hold. Impressive. This is a trilogy, so I will let you know how the other two pan out when I read them.
3. Manhunting by Jennifer Crusie - Humorous Romance -this is a riot! Jennifer Crusie does the best female main characters ever! This book is no exception. Her main character has had it with the males she normally sees. She has actually been engaged 3 times & called them all off. She is a career woman and seems to think she has no time for real romance. She wants a suit, stable, regular, boring male of the 90's. Her best friend convinces her to take a vacation, go hang out at a resort, meet some men, find the one and bring him back home. Needless to say she kisses a lot of frogs, and actually injures quite a few of them. But there is one, that she has deemed only a friend due to the misconception of who he is & what he does, needless to say there are a few surprises and wonderful self discovery on this roller coaster ride!

Well those are my books from last week. I start a new one today: Murder 101. Sounds pretty good, almost like an old Agatha Christie!

As for an update on some of the other TOP 25s, I am definitely becoming a 'worse magazine junkie'!! Just found that I LOVE British Glamour, so risque & is sized down to about 7 x 9 in paper size and thick. Perfect for a tote or small summer bag so it can go everywhere! I also have found Cook's Country to be a great cooking newsletter. Very descriptive & up to date.