tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44350622755370320442024-03-19T03:48:48.146-05:00Southern PrincessCourtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.comBlogger407125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-50889435000138265362017-03-16T17:30:00.000-05:002017-03-16T17:30:06.538-05:00Faith Moved Mountains Pt. 5 Grateful <div style="text-align: center;">
<em style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; text-align: start;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">"I will give thanks to you, LORD, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.” Ps. 9:1</span></em><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; text-align: start;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I tell you Village, that Monday my heart changed immensely. God had already begun a process in me, one that dove deep into recesses of my heart that I had never even fathomed. I had discovered a place carved for the birth-mother, a place carved for every rejection along the way, a place carved for dealing with pain that seemed endless, a place carved to explore loving M more than I thought I could, a place carved for you - dear Village; places hidden so deep that only God could lead me there. On that Monday, as we sat in a hospital room watching as two people signed papers that made the natural world see Everleigh as ours my heart became <i>more.</i> More invested in someone other than myself, more able to shift/change to see the value of others, more filled with light than I thought possible and more grateful than I've ever been...</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">M held Everleigh from the moment we left the family lounge, as they signed papers, as the two families breathed when the clock ticked away to that fateful hour of closure; he held her. Not me. I had held her for pretty much 42 of the 48 hours there. He was the one laying claim that morning. I will never forget a few minutes we had with our Nebraska lawyer alone. We spoke of how she had been doing this for quite some time, how when she got started she had not expected her work to be so monumental - but she gave glory - she spoke of how she was just honored to be a vessel that God could use to aid families during some of the hardest and most beautiful decisions they encounter. She spoke of her faith and how God has blessed her in this area of her life and beyond. We were blown away by her honesty and her heart. We mentioned the sweet Paralegal who had spoken for so long with me and who had expressed such kindness. We learned that the Paralegal had been adopted and also had adopted - God is great Village - He placed us along a journey filled with symbols and people who gave us great peace, comfort, hope and especially love.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">After the papers were signed, that same lawyer stood among us, as we all were gathering diapers and wipes and clothes and things we had lived in for the past 48 hours she patiently waited before asking if we could all pause for a moment. I remember that intake of breath that passed through M and myself. We waited, hesitantly worried - we knew the paperwork was done - irreversible, yet the enemy will try to pick at those worries, those fears. God had been in that room for 48 hours, He wasn't relinquishing us anymore than M was letting Everleigh out of his sight. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><i>M: "I think that would be great. Yes, yes. Thank you."</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">We all stood. I stood in front of M, beside the recliner that had been my bed for the weekend; the birth parents stood beside the hospital bed that they had made their camp in, my cousin stood beside me. We stood together - a unified group - as words tumbled from our lawyer's lips praying for peace, for comfort, for joy, for growth, for protection, for love and for honor of the God who had orchestrated this from the beginning. My gratefulness to God in His timing grew tenfold in those moments. I had endured years of screaming while driving home from work, hours of tears that coursed down red cheeks and hiccup sobs as the emails that softly said no while I loudly screamed why, I had faced changes in my own body - changes that I thought defined who I could be, I had accepted fears as truth only to finally face them with hope and promise, I had watched M battle with aggravation and frustration over timing, over selection and watched as he hurt with me every time the days had been dark and seemingly desolate - in that moment it all fell softly into place for this first journey into adoption. He seemed to be standing beside me rubbing my shoulders, squeezing me tightly and whispering words of peace into my heart. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">It hearkened back to the first time I remember being truly grateful - the first surgery - the first true time in my short life that I had faced fear of death, fear of loss, fear of not being enough. I remember the moment I found gratefulness during that journey - it was in a hospital room as well, only I was staring into the eyes of a woman who would soon know me and be a part of my story unlike any others, she was explaining what was going on, why I was in such pain and I felt that same whispering, that same comfort, through the spasms I felt good about her, about God placing her in that moment. I was still terrified but I didn't feel alone and I was grateful to Him for that promise. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">That Monday, standing there listening to this sweet woman speak words of light over us, I felt that same gratefulness. I was again terrified - not of danger or any issues with the paperwork - terrified because -<i>Holy cow, they are going to let us leave with her? We are really parents! This is terrifying - we don't know anything about babies or have anything but a diaper bag and car seat! </i>- that kind of terrified, but He knew that, He had already set that aside and was reminding me that this woman before me was here because she was the perfect one to be used to orchestrate the union of these families, to be standing here reminding ALL of us that none of this was by chance, that none of this was mere coincidence - no, He had done as He does - He had given us <i>more and I couldn't have been more grateful. </i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">She finished and the birth family left before us as we got Everleigh into her car seat. She was so small, so tiny in that big seat and we climbed into our cousin's car for the hour drive. I let the world know on that drive. We called the first connects of family to let them know it was done - she was ours, then I created a slideshow, created a storybook of sorts for social media...that was the big one. We had asked for prayers, but because our Village is so huge, because it spans so far and wide the public post was the best and simplest way to say "SURPRISE, WELCOME TO THE WORLD, OUR BABY GIRL!!" It was the cork popping the champagne bottle of announcements and the messages rolled in, the phone calls came and tears of joy were shed.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">We had one of those parent moments on the way to my aunt and uncle's house. We stopped at Target, red eyed, no shower, sleep deprived and dressed as though we had been on a 3 day bender. My cousin sat with Everleigh in the car as we scoured aisles, looking at the list our sweet nurse had made for us, and grabbing cute outfits along the way. We laughed as we walked to check out, pushing that buggy full of formula, baby items was surreal and was one of the highlights. We were parents in the most honest and real way in those moments.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">Because of ICPC you must stay in the adoptive state for up to 10 business days while the receiving state and adoptive state get all their paperwork together. We were beyond blessed to have family so close by and to have them open up their home to us. In fact they had a bassinet (one that all my cousins on that side had slept in, that my own mother had once slept in), a rocker (that had also rocked my mother to sleep - God is amazing y'all, simply amazing), a fully furnished apartment/basement for us and more love than sweet Everleigh could ever imagine in her first week of life on Earth. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">That week we laughed, we ordered more Amazon baby items, ate tons of food, had her first baby shower and were blessed to be able to have my mother and sister fly up to see Everleigh and our extended family. The nights were not nearly as bad as so many spoke of with a newborn and honestly I'm not sure they ever will be - so long as that gratefulness remains in my heart. By the time it was the day to travel back home to Alabama it was bittersweet. We truly enjoyed the special time the three of us had to just settle into being family and the time we had with family that was so important, so special to our story. But there was more to the story to come and we were ready to see what was next.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">She was only 8 days old when we took her on the plane. "Eight Days!!" -that was the chant of the day as strangers met her and saw her on the flights. We are forever thankful to Delta airlines and their attendants that weekend - they treated us as royalty. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Coming home though...wow. Seeing Duchess with her for those first seconds in the airport and then the days following. Listening to her hum the Harry Potter theme song as Everleigh slept and watching her step so easily into the big sister role made my heart so very happy.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Then, of course, my dear sweet Village you all came tenfold for us, you brought us meals, you sent cards, you brought us gifts, you gave your time, you showered us with laughter and you gave love in every way that you could come up with. I still am behind on thank you cards and this is not replacing them at all - they will come! I'm too southern for them not to, but I will be honest there are many and that example of such great love overwhelms me in the most beautiful way. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Everleigh is 5 months old now, just turned yesterday. She has 2 teeth with 3 breaking the skin as I type, she sits up beautifully and really is trying to walk instead of crawl (lol), she has been eating 'solid' foods for a month now and absolutely loves to bounce in her bouncer, she talks animatedly anytime you will listen. She has so much personality and we love every inch of her. She is a healthy 17 lbs and 26 inches long. My favorite new thing is how she likes to touch my face as she falls asleep, her tiny hand massages my cheek and rubs my nose as she closes her eyes against my shoulder. Sometimes her blue eyes open and she stares up at me as she moves, smiling wider the longer she stares. It melts me every time. That heart of mine, the one with all the hidden spots I didn't know about? It has <i>more,</i> I know that now. I know that when the opportunity to find a sibling for this beautiful princess occurs it will grow again - those pains of rejection might resurface but this time, this time I am going in with even more glory for God, even more gratefulness for His mercies, His gifts, His timing, His infinite knowledge of what is the BEST not just better humbles me every time I hear her "talk" to her toys or when she coos in her walker as she scoots backwards rather than forwards. Our story doesn't end here, it doesn't just stop and we are now just parents - no if anything our story is just beginning. We have new chapters now, new arcs and climaxes yet to come. We have new family - we keep in close contact with her birthmother and are so honored to get to do so. We have new goals, responsibilities and new ideals of what life can be. We have so many reasons to do as He asks - to tell of His greatness, that His trials and tribulations are parts of your story - He is never not with you so don't ever think those trials are done without His support, they are often His desire to bring you closer to Him and to learn how to <i>give it all to Him.</i> </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Thank you dear Village for following this short series on how we saw Mountains move by Faith, how we were privileged to walk through storms, to feel the batter of mighty winds but to see the Prince of Peace through it all. We never expected this, we never even dreamed that this really would be where we would be standing - none of it is due to anything we've done/not done - it is all His grace, His mercy, His truth, His promises. We give this beautiful daughter of the King of Kings to Him, we dedicate our lives to making sure she is aware of Him, that she sees Him when she sees us and that she knows we are not perfect but in Him we can find the type of perfect love that transcends all things and that He loves her so very much.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Life is unpredictable. We are ill equipped if we try to travel this life without God, we can get by, we can live what seems to be an okay life - but true fulfillment can only be found if you have asked God into your heart and you've decided to let go - to give Him every single thing that comes across your path - there will be things you want to cling to, things that you think <i>you</i> can handle...don't box Him in. He is a big God. He wants your anger, your sadness, your disappointment, your sorrow, your happiness, your joy, your love, the big things, the small stuff...He wants all of you, because He loves <i>all</i> of you - the misgivings, the flaws, the fears, the worries, the beauty, the broken...He LOVES IT ALL. He is the only one who sincerely sees every bit of you, knows every bit of you and is in LOVE with every bit of you - no wavering, no conditions, no issues, no maybes - He. Loves. It. All!! What a beautiful truth! </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Village, if you haven't gotten to know Him, if you haven't given Him all of you, take heart - there is no time limit, there are no requirements to be better before you go to Him, there is nothing you've done - wanted to do - not done that will keep Him from loving you. Truth is...He already does. He is just waiting for you to lean in. So do. Ask Him into your heart - those recesses that you think are full or dark, nope, He can get there. Give Him your heart, your life, your cares and let a peace beyond all that you will ever understand fill you. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">One warning, it isn't just one and done. You will probably have to make this choice and do this every day, sometimes more than once a day - no worry, He forgives all you've done, gives second chances more than there are drops in the ocean if you just go to Him, give Him your mistakes, ask Him to forgive and open yourself to all He has for you. I have to do it daily, I have to choose Him daily. I want Him to hear from me every day, to know I love Him every day and to know that those days before I gave Him everything do not define me nor do they change how He sees me. I am a daughter of the King of Kings, my hope lies in Him who created the sun and moon and earth, I come from a place of Victory, this world is not my home, I am raising a daughter of the King of Kings - a Princess, and it is with Him I will run to when the days are long, Him I will teach her of when she seeks refuge and it is Him who I pray that you dear Village come to know, come to seek and discover love like no other. For He is the giver of great and beautiful things...don't you want that in your life?</span></span></div>
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<em style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” James 1:17</span></em></div>
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Courtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.com93tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-5262378458409250782017-03-07T17:30:00.000-06:002017-03-07T17:30:25.383-06:00Faith MOVED Mountains, Pt. 4 – Trust and Leaps<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Trust in Him at all times, O’ people; pour out
your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge. Psalms 62:8</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><o:p></o:p></i>It was super early at the airport. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Duchess dropped us off with hugs, heavy heart (she had class
Monday and couldn’t go with us, plus the puppy brothers needed supervision) and
prayers. I remember walking into the security and thinking that this may be one
of the few remaining times we travel so light. We get to our gate, both tired
but so buoyed by excitement for this next step that we can’t stop fidgeting. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We watch other people around us, wondering what their
destination is, wondering if their journey is as HUGE as ours…we hold hands, we
lean on each other and we pray. The boarding begins and flight number 1 is
ready for take-off. We began counting the hours down until we would meet the baby who would hopefully be ours.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I remember that we didn’t talk a lot on the flights. Both of
us put headphones on and dove into worship and praise music. We just listened,
watched the window and prayed. Prayer was constant. It filled us more than the
air it seemed for those hours…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But God spoke. He sent us some messages in those smooth
flights, the rainbow He sent that seemed to wrap around us and in the peace we felt with every passing cloud.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We snacked on Bananas, popcorn and Biscoff cookies – thank
Delta for those delicious cinnamon biscuits.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When we touched down in Omaha I remember us looking at each
other and trying to just take that second, that moment before we ran full steam
into the unknown, and into the exciting hope that lay before us. We both took
our phones off airplane mode to see the following information: our birth-mother was dilated to 4 cm. She was coming soon.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While we were touching down, our birth-mother was in labor.
Technically she had started the 6 hours she was in labor right when we got to
the airport back home. Our sweet baby was ready to meet us, God's timing is precious and perfect in all things.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The hospital is one town over and so we knew that there was
drive time ahead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When we saw my cousin in the airport, waiting to pick us up,
her face lit up and the three of us hugged while we walked. We were chittering
like children it seemed as we headed towards her parked car. M was blown away
at my family resemblance (he had never met the majority of my cousins from up
North) and so we chatted about that before we focused on the drive. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It was while we were leaving the airport that the first
picture of our sweet baby girl surfaced on my cousins’ phone. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I remember the tears silently slipping down my cheeks and
the elation on M’s face as he stared at the picture. I remember the worry TRY
to slip in, the fear TRY to slip in but I kept clinging to the words on the
radio, to the songs in my head….the flight had been full of promise and hope, I
wasn’t going to just let that worship slip away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Silent moments filled the drive, then we all would chatter
then the silence would return. Tears never stopped. We pulled into the
hospital. I remember not knowing what to take in, what bags to grab, what items
we needed, if any…I just was helpless in a moment. Needing to grab something.
So I did. I grabbed M’s hand and we walked into the double doors to meet our
daughter.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I won't deny that I was terrified that we wouldn't get through the doors, that some Ogre or something was going to tell us "Turn around, you have no business here." But with every step no Ogre appeared.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Do know that the hospital was very aware that this was an
adoptive parent/birth parent situation. They wanted to make sure we were conscientious of certain things…one thing in particular – for the next 48 hours, birth-mom is
still in control. Until she signs, until Monday at 12:23 p.m. <i>she</i> still holds all the cards. Remember
last post about guarding hearts? This is why. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We knew this going in, most
adoptive parents know, its your job to understand the state you are adopting
from and its laws on children, birth-mothers and proceedings. You NEED to know,
you NEED to understand – whether you agree with them or not – they are
important. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We knew the 48 hours wouldn’t be easy, but
they were there, they were a part of our process and they were important to us
and to the woman who we would be meeting very soon.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I remember nurse
D when she came first to the window to see us, to tell us where we could go; she was stern, you could tell she was the birth-mother’s assigned nurse but more
than that…she was a barrier, a buffer, a protector of sorts for the young woman
who had just given birth. At first, I thought she disapproved, I thought the
emotion she was projecting was because maybe she didn’t want the baby to be given
for adoption…</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">God, my dear Village, He is by far so much smarter than we are. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We followed her, down a hall, up an elevator and to a floor
where you must press a buzzer and state the name of your family member to be
let in. I remember saying her name. I remember the small hospital bracelet
being placed on my wrist that carried her name, the woman I wanted to shower
with love, to let her know her worth and somehow let her know that even if she
changes her mind in the next 48 hours, she is still everything and MORE than
what I can shower her with. I had expected it to be heavy, to speak her name, but it wasn’t. Again, that special part of my heart had already given her a
home. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We stepped through and were led to a family lounge, a waiting area, while the baby was being cleaned up. We weren't sure when, where we would meet anyone. Then our sweet baby's maternal grandmother and birthfather came in. I will never, ever forget the first time I laid eyes on her birthfather. He was holding back tears and as if we had all known each other for centuries, he hugged Marcus and I both. I cried, telling him we loved him, he cried telling us how beautiful she is and how amazing everything had gone.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Then we talked, cried and talked some more. Then the nurse came to lead us to the nursery. The birthfather and maternal grandmother went back to the labor room.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We had no idea what to
expect. We were trying not to cry, not to ask too many questions, just to
follow, step by step as we leaned into wherever God was leading us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Then
we stepped into the nursery. A nurse stood to the side, our nurse D told them
who we were and then we stepped into an adjoining room. A young doctor was
lifting a baby, turning her side to side, checking her out, looking at the
remaining gunk all over her and motioned us over. Nurse D introduced us. The
doctor paused, I will never forget that pause, he looked at us, just stared for
a heartbeat and then smiled. He introduced himself and we shakily said hello.
The precious squirming gift he held so easily was our daughter. He introduced
her to us, then handed her to me and a bottle. My baby’s first meal and my
first real tangible moment with what hope and faith creates. </span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I cried. </span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sobbed a
little as she took those first sips and M, he stood beside me, tears rolling
saying how beautiful she was. We melted then, just melted. The doctor, nurses
they watched as I sat in a rocker and spoke to her. They watched as M held my
shoulder and spoke to her. My dear cousin stood beside us and cried, telling us
how beautiful she is.We had a few more moments before nurse D (who had slipped out) returned to tell us we all were wanted in the labor room - this was it, we were meeting the woman I had pictured and prayed for, the woman who had made a decision that my heart ached for and the woman who was showing me a visual example of selfless love...</span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I remember seeing her face, beautiful yet tired, the length of her hair - so long and the weariness in her smile. I cannot imagine her thoughts. I hugged her, tight, whispered to her the gift she is and cried again. In all honesty in that singular moment I wanted the world to fall away and the two of us to just be for a bit - to talk about what she had given us, what she had given our beautiful daughter. This life, this beautiful soul sitting beside me in a hospital was more family to me in that moment than my blood relatives. We share something very special now, something that bonds me to her in thought and prayer in a way that I cherish so much. </span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We all talked a bit and then they brought E back into the room. From that moment forward the 5 of us (birth mom, birth dad, M, Everleigh and myself) began what we lovingly refer to as camping out in a hospital. </span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We all "lived" in that small room and in the family room down the hall from that moment forward. We ate together for most meals and when birth parents caught up on much needed rest, we spent hours with the nurses and staff asking questions on newborns, listening to their advice and learning so much about what we had in store. We were honored to share in the knowledge that some of the staff had experienced adoptions themselves - some had been a birth mother, some had family members who were adopted and a few were the adopted members of their families. God, He is a wise one. lol. We were loved on in a way that just any one wouldn't have known to love on us. Our birth family was loved on in a way that a typical scenario might not have been able to be such an impact on it all. </span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Monday came quickly. I woke up first, well Everleigh woke up first and I took her down the hall to the family lounge. I remember staring at her, just staring at the faces she made as she slept in my arms. It was then, alone, in that room that the sobs came. I had not cried since those first hours in the hospital, I'd been the one saying "God has this, no more worries, everything will be fine." I was guarding my heart with fortress strength walls and there in that little room, alone singing to her sweet face my walls crumbled, fear crept in and I began the REAL countdown. The 4 hours until the papers would be signed, the 4 hours until we truly knew whether or not she was ours. </span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The Holy Spirit comes in so many forms and manners. A photographer came to take newborn pictures of Everleigh just as I was shaking with sobs. </span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">She was so kind, smiling and handing me a tissue. Then she stooped in front of us and said <i>"These can wait if you'd like, I understand you are adopting her and today you discharge, right?"</i> </span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I gave her a snotty, sniffling yes.</span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">She paused. Standing up straight for a moment to look at us then the room.</span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">She looked at Everleigh and at me. <i>"You know, she is sleeping so sound in your arms. I just don't think she is going anywhere else today. Why don't we set up some shots?"</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">That sentence from a stranger who had no control, who couldn't have told you our birth family's last name, yet stood before me and told me she was mine in the most subtle and sweet matter of fact manner. I laughed. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">She handed me another tissue and began moving chairs around. I blew my nose, apologized and stood up with Everleigh. She walked over to me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>"Let's try the window area and get some good light. Why don't you place her and I will arrange her as needed. You stay close to her though in case she gets restless."</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">That was that. I began to dry up my tears and we laughed as she arranged Everleigh in various positions, as we moved her around the small space and as she took some of the most amazing photos in the family lounge of the hospital. She left to get everything uploaded and I sat down. Completely at peace. When M woke and came down, I had already bought in, everything was on the table, God had all my chips and the leap I had already began running for so many years before was coming in for a landing. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial"; font-size: 19.5px;"><i>Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27</i></span></div>
Courtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-34955979185227704042017-02-28T17:30:00.000-06:002017-02-28T17:30:17.475-06:00Faith Moved Mountains, Pt. 3 – His timing…never try to figure it out…just embrace its beauty<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>So be truly glad!
There is wonderful joy ahead, even though the going is rough for a while down
here. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>1 Peter 1:6<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<b><i><u>Did they go to the appointments? What did the doctor say? What about
the lawyer? What is the next steps? What if they backed out? Please God be with
this baby! Please God be with the birthparents! Please God be with us…</u></i></b></div>
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This
was my mind from waking til 5:26 p.m. on that Friday in October. Yet there were other things going on around us as well...In the midst of all of
this, of all that we had going on with the adoption there was to be a wedding
on that Saturday. M’s cousin was getting married in the evening in our home
town. All summer as we talked about the upcoming nuptials, all 3 of us (Duchess, Prince M, and myself) couldn’t
wrap our heads around being there. We hadn’t bought new outfits, we hadn’t
really planned to be in our hometown for the event…it was like this event sat in
the back of our minds, an important event, not diminished by what we had going on at all - the union of two people who are making a commitment is not something we take lightly - yet for some reason this beautiful event had not/would not come to the forefront of our schedule. We
were ill prepared that Friday for going south and really had not even packed or
planned outfits, the dogs – nothing – for those wondering - that isn’t like me. I am a plan the details, created the itinerary, begin counting down the days, plan for the best trips ever person. I create personalized, bound travel books for EVERY trip guys - even weekend getaways...yeah....<o:p></o:p></div>
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I had gotten to the house around 5:15 p.m. I had cried out
on the drive home, tears flowing, asking God to please send me comfort no
matter what His will deemed this entire situation to be. I remember walking
into the garage, grabbing a can of white spray paint and a European mount deer
skull I was set to custom paint for a customer. I sprayed the base coat and
stood outside. It wasn’t sunny. It wasn’t dark. It was just light grey blue
everywhere. I had the back hatch to my SUV open because I had bought other
paint colors and they were in the back ready to take on coat two and three on the
skull. My phone sat on a red chest in the garage. I hadn’t even changed into ‘paint
clothes’. I still wore work clothes; I just needed to complete something, to
work on something, to let my talents pour into something tangible and seemingly
in my control. I had let the dogs into the backyard and they were barking at
the noise I was making. The phone rang. I stepped over towards it, white paint
on my finger tips and I reached out. The screen flashed a 402 phone number that
I did not recognize, but the area code…that was a 3 digit arrow to my heart. I
quickly swiped left and quietly said “This is Courtney.” The paralegal who had
only a week ago patiently explained all the details of a Nebraska adoption to
me began to speak <o:p></o:p></div>
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Paralegal: <i>“Hi! I hope
your Friday is going well </i>(THAT ALL DEPENDS!).<i> Well, they did come by this afternoon.</i> (OH PRAISE JESUS, PRAISE
JESUS) <i>Birthmom is lovely, birthfather
seems very kind, birthgrandmother was also very pleasant to meet.</i> (OKAY,
OKAY, NOW WHAT??). <i>Everyone is on board
and ready to move forward. So everything looks good, they are good with the
paperwork. They gave us everything we need from them so I have already started
on getting everything typed out.(</i>OMG, OMG, THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING!!!
Paint drips silently onto the concrete) <i>However</i>,
(HEART DROPS TO THE FLOOR) <i>there is one
thing</i>…(OMG, IS IT MONEY, IS IT ANYTHING????!!! TELL ME!!!!) <i>Do you think you can be here tomorrow?</i>(SILENCE.
BREATHE. IN. OUT. IN. OUT. ANSWER HER!!!) <o:p></o:p></div>
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Courtney: “<i>Um, what? Tomorrow?
Is everything okay…” </i>(SHAKING BEGINS)<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Paralegal<i>: *Chuckles*
Don’t worry they are in shock too. Remember the doctor’s appointment before
ours? Well that baby girl is ready to come on out. Are you ready to be a mom
tomorrow?<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<i>Courtney: “Really?
Like Really</i>?(everything centers and I’m filled. In that moment, my answer forms..so simple, so unbelievably simple....)<i>Yes.”<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Paralegal<i>: Okay, well
I have to be on a trip with my children this weekend or else I would be able to
meet you and it has been such a pleasure talking with you. I will get
everything written up and *Attorney S* has another assistant who will be there
on Monday when y’all hopefully discharge from the hospital. I am so happy for
all of you! Congratulations. I guess I should let you go, you need to find a flight. *chuckles*<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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Courtney<i>: </i>(My heart is beating like a drum as I chuckle)<i>“Its funny
you say that! I was checking flights this morning for next weekend since the
due date was then and I randomly checked some for this weekend…I just did. So I
actually know the price and I think I saw one for early am tomorrow….oh my gosh…I
can’t believe it. </i>(Holy Spirit, you tricky, sweet, marvelous counselor)<i> Okay. I need to book it. I need to pack! Oh my gosh. Thank
you for your kindness for your help and everything."<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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Paralegal<i>: “It was my
pleasure. They are looking to induce in the am but there is currently not a set
time. She will be at *hospital* and I have some phone numbers to give you from
birth grandmother. We gave them yours as well. Now *attorney S* will be
available this weekend and will be touching base with you. If you need anything
just email or call her at the contact information I gave you. Now go find a
flight and congratulations again.”<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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I remember standing for about 30 seconds in the garage then
stepping outside to where my car was. My fingers still held the imprint of
white paint when I pressed the release button on the hatch. That white paint is
still there by the way, slowly disappearing as time goes on, but I can close my
eyes and see it bright, wet, new...as clear as day. I walked upstairs, I
waded through boxes, the emptying kitchen and stepped back outside to where the
dogs were playing, I stood on the deck and watched as they bounded towards me. I hugged them, cried and hugged
them again. I started to call M but changed my mind. Instead I found the
tickets for 8 a.m. out of Bham and purchased them. I waited. On our credit
cards when a large purchase is made (oh and day before tickets are not exactly “low
fare”) it sends a text to M to make sure it isn’t fraudulent and boy does he
call if it wasn’t him who made it. So I waited. Grinning with the excitement of telling him.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
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Duchess had been working with M that day and I heard her
come in the house….I stood up and met her in the kitchen. I have no idea what
look was on my face but she knew something was up. I showed her the
confirmation of the ticket purchase. She smiled and said <i>“So no wedding
tomorrow after all. Yall are going to Nebraska.”</i> I sat slowly at the table and
nodded. I began to spill the story of the day…then a phone call came through my
phone.<br />
<br />
The birth grandmother was on the other line; she just wanted to hear my
voice, to talk at least once before this all became the reality we were all
teetering on. We both cried, I told her I loved her and her precious daughter –
all the barest, honest, most transparent truth and it was refreshing to realize it in that moment that my love for
them wasn’t new; I’d loved them before I knew they existed. In my heart had
been a place, a hidden place that I had not known about that had been carved
for those that would sacrifice so much for me, for this child, for a life of
purpose in the name of love, we spoke a few moments longer then hung up.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
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I sat, dumbfounded…then M came in. He walked in like normal
and I knew he hadn’t checked his phone. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I stood up and asked him what he wanted to do that weekend.
He said <i>“I guess I need to pull out my
suit. How are we going to keep everything that has been going on quiet?”</i>
Then his voice faded off as he looked from me to Duchess. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I asked him “<i>Wanna go
to Nebraska?”</i> I know the smile on my face was the biggest he has seen so
far in our 20 years together. He stood stock still, staring as I showed him the
screenshot of our flights.<o:p></o:p></div>
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M: <i>“What? What happened?
When? She is having the baby...this weekend?” <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<i>C: “Yes. We are going
to be parents tomorrow.”<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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The tears flowed and we hugged and we hugged Duchess and
then it was like a Freaky Friday moment.<br />
<br />
I sat down, still, and in a bit of a
trance. M began to move. Grabbing clothes in the closet. Calling out things we
would need. Walking from one end of the house to the other. He asked about the
weather there, what we would need, what about a place to stay, car rental - baby things. All
the things I typically meticulously plan
out for our trips came rolling off his tongue and fell around me. I sat.
Breathing, but sitting quiet and still. For Duchess it was an out of body
experience to see the role reversal and even now we still laugh about that
night. We had nothing by the way. Seriously not prepared to be parents! Lol. We
had a diaper bag. That. IS. IT.<o:p></o:p></div>
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M: “<i>Oh my gosh the wedding.
How do we tell them we cannot be there but not tell those details</i>?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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We didn’t want to tell everyone details for one reason. When
this baby was born, 48 hours had to pass before the birth-parents could sign the
paper work, once signed it was irrevocable. But those 48 hours were still
there, the waiting, the guarding of hearts…the moments of faith were yet to
come and we knew prayers were needed but hearts also needed to be protected for
all parties involved.<o:p></o:p></div>
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C: <i>“you can tell your
mom that there is a baby that could be ours in Nebraska, that we won’t be at
the wedding. Not to broadcast it to anyone but your cousin’s mom and your
cousin getting married.”<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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So the calls began. To the coworker/boss that needed to know
we had an emergency time off needed, to my parents that we would be flying to
the state where my mother was born to possibly become parents, that they would possibly be grandparents very soon. To my sister who
had been praying incessantly. And to our closest friends who had known that
prayers for the last week had been what held us together. <o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So we packed and tried to sleep….<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Because God is
graceful, I am brave. Mark 5:25-34<o:p></o:p></i></div>
Courtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-75421166505107394302017-02-21T17:30:00.000-06:002017-02-21T17:30:09.293-06:00Faith Moved Mountains, Pt. 2 – There is no limit to what God can handle<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Job 11:7 Can you find
out the deep things of God? Can you find out the limit of the Almighty?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hate to say it but we all tend to attempt to push the
limits of God. We test Him even when we don’t realize it. We box Him in and
then we find ourselves standing on top of a Mountain when we began in the depths
of a Valley.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We were overcome with giggles that night. What you all don’t
know is we had just decided to place our home on the market. Only one week, to
the day, prior we had sat down with our realtor and decided to push the button.
For 3 years we had hemmed and hawed over this decision. M was terrified that
wrapping the monies we had so carefully set aside for a child would be hindered
by the things to be ‘fixed’ within the house or that refinancing may be better
or what if we can’t find a new home in the financial realm of our reality? I am
the ultimate optimist when it comes to what God can do in these situations.
Now, as you know, days of lows can easily seep in – but on the whole my optimism
(dreamer mentality as M calls it) outnumbers the down days every year. So there
I sat a fabulous Bistro in Tuscaloosa assuring my husband that everything would
be fine. God has this. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then the realtor asked “<i>What about the adoption?</i>” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
we
looked at each other and said “<i>It is what it is</i>.<i>We have been in a holding
pattern for years now and its time we just let Him truly have it all and know
that we will be equipped to handle whatever He gives us because He will be in
it</i>.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She smiled and said ‘<i>Okay, we will get the house staged, photos up and on
the market on 10/31.”</i> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We continued our conversation, we also mentioned that in
August of 2016 we had pre-paid and booked a BIG trip for the Duchess’
graduation for the first week of January 2017, again, something we had hesitated over in case a baby came – but we
needed to do this – Duchess deserved the 10 days in Hawaii and we were taking
that leap, asking about the limits He might have.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, that night, when everything was an option; we sat
staring at the home we have loved and lived in for 10 years. We laughed. A lot.
We had already started boxing and shifting things and now…there was a
glimmer, a spark, that could make this
transition as chaotic as any transition we’d ever experienced.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The next day was research. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I called my Alabama Social
Worker to get details about the Bama side of things. When you go through
domestic adoption, you learn a great deal about terms like: ICPC (Interstate Compact
on the Placement of Children – basically the rules/laws of adopting a child
from one state to another). Social Worker R was at a conference and I couldn’t
get her immediately. The OCD crazy planner in me went into FULL SWING. Google,
praise Jesus for Google, was my training on Nebraska lawyers. Now, Village, you
need to know that as in all things God was there – even for the tiniest of
things, the internet searches. The first firm that popped up sounded nice so I
called. Sweet as they were, when I mentioned their experience with ICPC….they
said “What is that?” I politely told them and they said “No, we only do
adoptions within state lines.” On their recommendation I googled the Nebraska
Bar Association. Guys, Nebraska is not highly populated, but there are BUNCHES
of lawyers. I filtered to ones who specialized in Adoption, then the Holy
Spirit didn’t whisper He kind of nudged my
heart. I wanted a female. I cannot explain it, but I did. Our Alabama lawyer
is male and he is fabulous; but something led me to female. So I filtered. What
is funny is that one of my cousin’s first name is the same first name of the
lawyer that first popped up. In my sleep deprived, excited, full of hope logic
that meant she was the one. Guys, she was. I happened to choose a woman who
helps write Nebraska adoption laws, who is one of the most revered adoption
attorneys in the state. After speaking for over an hour with her assistant I
was convinced that if this was to happen, she was our lawyer. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now for the fear factor: You see the lawyer cannot contact
the birthparents – that would be solicitation. This lawyer would be
representing the birthparents through the process (adoptive parents must cover
the costs, but this lawyer is there to protect the birthparents from any
shenanigans and to insure the ICPC is properly filed and distributed back to
the receiving state.) So, the fear resides in the fact that the birthparents
must willingly go to the lawyers’ office, tell them why they are there and then
begin the paperwork process of giving their child to someone else. We feared they
wouldn’t go, that this was a hopes dashed situation. When you guard your heart
for so many years and you hear the “they went another way; they changed their
minds; they didn’t choose you; I’m sorry it isn’t going to happen” 41 separate
times in the past years fear is standard operating procedure. We also were
praying for their peace and comfort, that the birthparents would be able to
find the peace that only God can give and that whatever the outcome the child
would be born, would be born into a place of love and that God would have His
opportunity to bring more than just a child into the hearts of all involved.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Armed with my information I touched base with my cousin.
This was Thursday. I gave her the information of the attorney for the family to
contact. She passed everything along. Then Friday happened, then Saturday, then
Sunday and on Sunday evening she and I discussed the fact that she had not
heard back from them since the previous Thursday. I didn’t let me faith waiver.
We prayed. We talked and I chose not to let M know that they had been radio
silent for the past 4 days. I wanted to protect his heart. He excitedly talked
every day about “our baby girl” and I couldn’t shatter that with unknowns.
Monday came and went. No response. Tuesday came and went. No response. It was
another Wednesday when the update came. My cousin called: “Courtney, they still
want to go through with it. They still want to give you the baby. They are
meeting with the attorney on Friday. She has a doctor’s appointment at 3 p.m.
then they go to the attorney at 4 p.m.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Romans 8:28 And we know
that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are
called according to His purpose.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had basically told
M that everything was fine up until that phone call. I remember stepping
outside my office. I walked to a tulip tree beside the side window and sat on
the dirt. I dialed his number. I had been shaking, crying even when he answered
but I dried it up and asked “So you still want to be a daddy?” He said “Yes!
Did they meet with the lawyer?” I told him the details and he got emotional as
well. We talked and talked for about 20 minutes over the details. Then he said:
“You need to tell Duchess, first, before anyone else, make sure she knows.” I
hung up the phone and walked to the opposite side of the building. I made the
call. “Duchess, are you ready to be a big sister?” I have no idea where she was
in that moment, no idea what she had been doing but the emotions coming through
that phone were unmistakable. She got emotional then the questions came – we had
told no one details at all, we had asked some family and friends to pray, that
mountains were moving, but no one but those involved knew the story. I gave her
everything. In that moment, sharing it with her was one of the highlights of
our journey. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Back to waiting for Thursday to come and go; our sweet
Princess was due to come into this world exactly one week from that Thursday. I
could barely work. But I did. I even began preparing some work related things
just in case she delivered on time and I would possibly be out the next
weekend. That Thursday night we worked on packing more things in the house. Our
home was stacks of boxes, crates, furniture to sell, to pack, closets to go
through, everything. We were still set to stage and sell by 10/31. It was
10/13. We had plenty of time. ;o)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Friday morning I was a mess. Just antsy and waiting to hear
how the day would go. Praying incessantly that God would comfort our hearts,
that if this baby was to be ours that these birthparents would go the
appointments and that we would have an update in the evening.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Remember that sense of humor I mention often in my posts…..yes,
God’s timing is better than what we could imagine.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Next up: Pt. 3 – prepare for timing and you prepare in vain, just let
His timing be what it is: amazing<i><o:p></o:p></i><br />
<br />
Get ready, Village, I've finally taken the moments, pulled the notes that I wrote while it all happened and penned the parts up to the present...so here they all come....</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>As much as you want to
plan your life…God has a way of surprising you with unexpected things that will
make you happier than you originally planned.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
Courtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-47967032300948932372016-12-13T23:46:00.000-06:002016-12-13T23:48:03.168-06:00Faith MOVED Mountains Pt.1Oh, sweet Village...Mountains move. They move, they dance and they proclaim.<br />
<br />
The last time I posted it was a mere 3 days prior to the birth of our <i>daughter. </i>Yes, our beautiful, perfect, lovely, cherished, adored and fabulously fun daughter.<br />
<br />
We asked for prayer. You delivered.<br />
We asked for faith. You delivered.<br />
We asked for peace. He delivered<br />
We asked for blessings. He delivered.<br />
<br />
We are still reeling, still jolted awake in moments of disbelief and humility. God delivers, every time.<br />
<br />
She was not in the package we imagined. She was not from the state we thought she would be.<br />
She was not anything that we thought she would be...she is <i>more.</i> He never short changes our blessings. He never skimps on His miracles. Even in the seemingly mundane He produces magical results.<br />
<br />
Because you are a part of this story, we wanted to give you the details...so here is Part 1<br />
<br />
As some of you now know, on 10/7/16 we were contacted by a cousin* of my mother. She knew of a young couple who were pregnant and were discussing placement of their child. She knew this because her husband was cousins to the birthmother.<br />
<br />
(* this lovely cousin of ours, she and I had connected months before. Her family was going through a tough season of loss and well, honestly, M and I had so many rejections during 2015 and the beginning of 2016 that when me and our cousin met up we just gave each other exactly what we needed: sounding boards of faith and support. Little did we know the things that God had already set in motion, the behind the curtain plotline that God knew so well)<br />
<br />
So she had known that this couple was pregnant, but in God's beautiful timing, He had not yet laid it on her heart to even mention us. She was just doing as He asks and praying for them. Then around month 7-8 she heard more of their discussions were seriously leaning towards placement. It was in the end of September only a week or two before she ever spoke to us that the Holy Spirit whispered to her 3 little words: <i>I know someone. </i>As this couple, this family of her husbands were all seeking guidance, seeking the hows the whens the whos of what they might do for this beautiful child that they love so much...He whispered, she listened, then she spoke.<br />
<br />
We, by the way, have no idea of any of this. It is scenes of our life that He had orchestrated, He had designed for us to not know until exactly the moment He knew we were ready. I had just told a close friend that her words of encouragement were now my mantra. For 7 days I spoke these words every day, I cried them out as I drove home in the evenings and they were on my tongue every morning: <i>I am ready to be ready when called.</i> Christine Caine had spoken the words "you must be ready to be ready when called" at an event my friend had attended. She had prayed those words over me. I hadn't even really been asking for prayer for the adoption, it was actually for another life event that I had seeked her guidance on. But God was there, as He always is; His infinite wisdom fusing together the words I needed in a box I least expected. So there I was just realizing that I had been believing a a lie that I wasn't ready for all He had in store and had just become a believer in myself and how He had equipped me when BAM! God says hello in a big way....<br />
<br />
My cousin calls, its 10:29 p.m. We just watched a movie and were getting a drink for the ride home. We stopped to call my cousin in the Captain D's parking lot...she could barely get the words out after some small talk..."I don't want to get y'lls hopes up or anything. But, um, okay...so *my husband* cousin is pregnant and they are talking about giving it up for adoption. And well, I told them about you...and um, I wanted to see if y'all were interested first, I mean before I tell them more about you. I mean they know about you...but not KNOW about you yet. So, yeah, are you...interested?" I will not lie, I laughed a little. M was watching me on the phone, hearing only one sided words...he was baffled. I told her of course and to please let me know what happens after she talks to them and that was it. We hung up.<br />
<br />
M sat beside me as I laughed. No joke, Village, I laughed. It was so...Godly. He loves these moments I believe. The moments where He gets to catch us off guard, set us on our heels a little, astonish us with moments of conversations - no fireworks, just intimate conversations that were orchestrated by His perfect planning. I began to relay the words to M. I watched his face, the intent listening that shifted to concern, then hope, then excitement. It was infectious. We sat there for about 5 minutes just believing. We talked immediately in postives: Ths is going to be our baby. This is it. God has this. This is amazing. Then we shifted to the holy crap...what do we do? Well we prayed. Yep, we sat in the truck and prayed. We got home and sat in the truck, staring at our home, laughing randomly and just holding hands...talking out loud about the possibility of what might happen...Then we excitedly went to bed and slept...dreaming of could be moments and possibilities....<br />
<br />
Then it all goes haywire....<br />
<br />
NEXT POST WILL CONTINUE THE STORY of BABY EVERLEIGH...<br />
<i><br /></i>
<span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: Arimo, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify;"><i>I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, 'May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,' and it will happen. But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart.</i></span><br />
Mark 11:23Courtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-55282655817527961862016-10-12T10:29:00.001-05:002016-10-12T10:29:14.489-05:00If Faith can move mountains...<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">10/12/16</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Let the mountains move.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We are waiting...as we always seem to type. This time though, my words are heavy with prayer and petition and thanksgiving. God has laid a hope on our hearts that has surpassed all the rest so far in this journey. We know that He goes before us, that He is fighting our battles, that He promises good things, that His plans are good and that trials/tribulations are to be seen as perseverance and a favor to God, for endurance brings us closer to Him with every passing moment/day/year.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">This week we are asking our prayer warriors to please lift up our journey. To lift up the birthmother and child that God has chosen for us. He knew their names, He knew their birth dates before we even existed and we are believing in His infinite wisdom and timing.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We know that He has prepared for us, for these days and for all that we desire. We know that faith can move mountains and mountains are moving whether we see them at this moment or later.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We are lifting our eyes, our hearts to the Lord of all Creation. He knows what we desire and His promises are true. This day, this week we are praying the following verses & we invite you to please pray these for any situation you are encountering in life right now:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Deut 31:8</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.</i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Exodus <a dir="ltr" href="outlook-data-detector://1" x-apple-data-detectors="true" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors-result="1" style="-webkit-touch-callout: none;">14:14</a></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The LORD himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.</i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">2 Chronicles <a dir="ltr" href="outlook-data-detector://2" x-apple-data-detectors="true" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors-result="2" style="-webkit-touch-callout: none;">20:12-17</a></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Be not afraid, or dismayed at this great multitude; for the battle is not yours, but Gods. You shall not need to fight in this battle; take your positions, stand still and see the deliverance of the Lord.</i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Romans <a dir="ltr" href="outlook-data-detector://3" x-apple-data-detectors="true" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors-result="3" style="-webkit-touch-callout: none;">8:37</a></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">In all these things, we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.</i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Zech. 4:6</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">‘Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit’, says the Lord of hosts.</i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We welcome your prayers and know that we are praying for you all. Our Village has been such an important part of all of this journey and continues to be so. Know that we love you all.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">With love.</span></p>Courtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-70384013351376198442016-08-22T10:34:00.001-05:002016-08-22T10:38:39.308-05:00Celebrating Faith<p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><b><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I saw the Lord always in my presence; for He is at my right hand, so that I will not be shaken – Acts <a dir="ltr" href="outlook-data-detector://0" x-apple-data-detectors="true" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors-result="0" style="-webkit-touch-callout: none;">2:25</a></i></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><b><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </i></b></p><div><p class="p1" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s1">There is something about good news. It isn't just the obvious - the </span><span class="s1"><i>good</i></span><span class="s1"> part, it's beyond that. It's the acceptance and the celebration and the reality of the news...the </span><span class="s1"><b>truth</b></span><span class="s1"> of it.</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s1">We received a text from a sweet set of friends who know our adoption journey well. They know it not because we've told them but because their journey has been so similar. I was on the rocker watching a favorite </span><span class="s1"><i>Friends</i></span><span class="s1"> episode when the text came across.</span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s1">A picture of a beautiful baby girl and a message following introducing us to the newest member of their family. Their secret was out.</span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span class="s1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The tears came first. I wept. I smiled and laughed out loud. I then responded sharing in their joy & utter adoration of their new daughter.</span></p><p class="p2" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s1">My mind flickered, trembling a bit for a moment as it recalled the day’s message at church. Our pastor spoke on </span><span class="s1"><i>faith</i></span><span class="s1">. On continued faith. The faith we all speak of but sometimes let slip. I've let it slip. I've let the waiting, the time and the expectations of my own heart cause it to slip. God hasn't caused it. I have. He's been doing what He does and He's been doing it perfectly. I'm the anxious one, the one giving a time table, end date and expectant result. Our pastor spoke about those time tables, the ones we create and how the humor in the Word reminds us that His time is not like our time & most importantly He isn't going to change that because we get frustrated or petulant or demanding...no, He is the all knowing One. The One who sees ALL the pieces from our beginning and our end and He loves the </span><span class="s1"><b>first</b></span><span class="s1"> piece & He loves the </span><span class="s1"><b>last</b></span><span class="s1"> piece, but I believe He </span><span class="s1"><b><i>cherishes</i></b></span><span class="s1"> the pieces in between.</span><span class="apple-converted-space"> He is going to enjoy the closeness that is created as we go to him during the in between.</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s1">Have you ever looked up the definition of cherish? It's actually perfect for His perspective and a word I personally select in these moments to center myself in His love.</span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s1">To</span><span class="s1"><b> cherish </b></span><span class="s1">is to:</span><span class="s1"><b> protect and care for (someone) lovingly; keep a hope or ambition in one's mind</b></span><b></b></span></p><p class="p2" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s2" style="font-style: italic;"><b>synonyms:</b></span><b></b></span></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s1"><b>Adore, love, dote on, be devoted to, nurture, foster, cling to, possess.</b></span><b></b></span></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span class="s1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span class="s1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">In that definition there is no denying the importance of the journey & the presence of God himself. The word itself evokes how He loves us. I can't stop singing His praises because I'm tired of the waiting, it's in the exhaustion I must whisper His name, when the tears roll I must not let walls build I must let them fall away. </span></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span class="s1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s1">It may not always make sense to me, but it doesn't have to- that therein lies sometimes the hardest part to swallow. But we must take our hope and lay it on Him. For He is with us always. He is the </span><span class="s1"><i>best</i></span><span class="s1"> of our good news, He is the answer to every question. </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span class="s1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s1">Those sweet friends of mine are celebrating, praising Him today...but it isn't the first time they have, no the good news they shared was good – amazing, beautiful, wonderful even; but the BEST part of their journey is how their identity in Christ evolved when the days were long and the pain ran deep. I cannot imagine how they are feeling - I dream about how we will feel when our day comes and I trust in Him that the date is there, written down and will come when He has deemed it to. </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s1"><br></span></span></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s1">The good news in this story is beyond overwhelmingly good, it is a heart’s desire, an answered prayer and a million Christmas mornings all in one. So the good news runs deep, it is flooding their every moment and in it, we see beyond just the simple word good and we see </span><span class="s1"><i>best. </i></span><span class="s1">We see chosen, adored, devoted, nurturing…every bit of what it is to cherish the sweet beautiful little girl they now hold.</span></span></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span class="s1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span class="s1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The journey isn't ending for them, not at all - this parenting journey will be full of more sleepless, prayer filled nights but it will be all the better because the first leg of their journey was prayer filled, hope filled and faith filled & this time they are holding to the truth they have received in His promises. He still remains, the doting Father, the adoring parent and the loving promise that everything of Him is good, even when we can’t see it yet, even when the nights are long and the tears fall for hurt not joy, for when the day comes that everything is clear we will embrace Him and see that faith has not only been exactly what we needed along the way, but it is the steadfast answer to our prayer before the words even leave our lips…</span></p><p class="p1" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span class="s1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p><p class="p1" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span class="s1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><b>Dear Village, please continue to pray for our journey of adoption, growth and faith, but this week we also ask that you visit our friend’s post and read about Faith, and their adoption journey – pray for them, for the birthmother and for this precious child.</b></span></p><p class="p1" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span class="s1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p><p class="p1" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span class="s1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><a href="http://mrswchilders.blogspot.com">http://mrswchilders.blogspot.com</a></span></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span class="s1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p><p class="p1" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span class="s1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><b><i>And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him. – Hebrews 11:6</i></b></span></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p></div>Courtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-80415258254307934572016-08-11T12:06:00.001-05:002016-08-11T12:06:01.959-05:00Stuck in a loop? Step out, seek Him.<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">There is struggle even on the days where struggle isn’t on the surface. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I’ve been in a loop lately.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRtraEdCHKccPTuGqJ4dsv9_cLtBNcxUGnqM7FS9w8_GBBpB21SW8pIiga3fQ3WXprjdZFC9aS3_XxjjwUXZPbjfj-SvY5g4hOD_McovEr2Yw8k-HHVysIsG7-oDy5msx_Jez-bD2pR0A/s640/blogger-image--188447959.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRtraEdCHKccPTuGqJ4dsv9_cLtBNcxUGnqM7FS9w8_GBBpB21SW8pIiga3fQ3WXprjdZFC9aS3_XxjjwUXZPbjfj-SvY5g4hOD_McovEr2Yw8k-HHVysIsG7-oDy5msx_Jez-bD2pR0A/s640/blogger-image--188447959.jpg"></a></div><br><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">A cycle of questions and curiosities that has stirred my emotions. We are in that place, the time period of the year where you will soon see that we will give an update after our Home Study is updated, interviews updated and visits updated. It is the month where I state: another year passed. Thank goodness we aren't Hamsters in this journey, we push forward and not only do we go somewhere, but where we end up and the track to get there is such a beautiful adventure to travel. It is these days of "loops" that I have to choose to dig deep. I cling to the truths that timing is His, that my lack of control over it is the best option and that my heart is guarded, protected and cherished by Him. He has plans, good ones... for us. He knows our desires, He knows our hopes and our dreams, He sees me, sees me more clearly than I see myself…these are truths, promises, and they are so very worthy of the weight they carry. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I still loop. There will still be days where like the hamster I step into the wheel, focused too much on how I get it to move, how I will think that I alone can make it eventually go somewhere...those are the days when I must remember what it means to truly "go somewhere", to Him, to His word and His power. I am not perfect, I am a Christian who acknowledges that I will never be perfect; my pursuit is to be like Him, to glorify Him, to share Him and to love Him. I am a light in the darkness – a light that is sourced from the King of all Kings; it is my duty and pleasure to shine for anyone I encounter & most especially to travel this life with the ultimate guide.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I never expected two years to pass and we still be renewing CANs, Fingerprints, Interviews, Profiles and Home Studies – at least not for Cherished Blessing Number 1. I know that when I speak in years I really should say year 8, but in the scheme that is most understandable it is year 2. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">He has this. I believe that. He loves us. I know that. He has plans for us, great ones. I trust that. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">So today I just wanted to post about ups and downs, the loops that I’m in right now.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I’m focusing on the new beginnings in our life. A new company, venture – where my name is followed by words like “entrepreneur, CEO, artist, owner” and where my days are full of the 22 year old blessing we cherish more than anything as she finishes out her last months of college, as she wanders the ocean of where the next shore is, as she shines so brightly that I sometimes just lean into who she is and rest. Our sweet Duchess makes us proud every day.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We are so honored to have this life. We know that the trials and tribulations cause us to hiccup, to hesitate, to question, to wonder and most of all to seek…He likes this part, the part where we crawl closer to Him, where we see the wall before us – that moment when the reality that we cannot do this alone – when we know that we need help – when we are so vulnerable that to hold on would be damaging – He loves that moment, where we see only His love, only His way, only His plan…the honesty of that moment takes my breath away every. single. time.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Join us in prayer. Join us as we pray for a birthmother yet to know who we are, for the children who already know their Heavenly Father but will soon meet us as the parents who will pray to raise them up to glorify Him. Pray for the parents who are sending their children to school this month, for the teachers and educators who are tasked with teaching and loving and supporting the next generations. Pray for understanding in the waiting. That we always are conscious of His blessings. Pray that as I ride out this loop of emotions that I find stability in the promises of the Word. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Dear Village…We pray for you, for all of you, that you have open eyes and hearts to the gifts of the Kingdom, that the Holy Spirit – your ever constant friend and companion – that the Spirit fills you and that your heart leans in, listens and shines like never before. That when you get stuck in the loop, that you take that moment to rest and step out, to find Him in the chaos and take confidence in the journey ahead.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.” 1 John 5:14</i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p>Courtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-70388985007877264132016-07-20T12:36:00.001-05:002016-07-20T12:36:16.774-05:00We regret to inform you...you were not chosen...<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">There are just not enough words…</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We had our name in a hat again…there is a beautiful baby boy that will meet his forever family soon. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It isn’t us.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We know that this exactly what should be. We trust that this child, perfect as he is, is not the child for us.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">He is loved.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We ache, yet we never met him. He joins a list in my heart. There are names peppered there with his, of other boys, girls and birthmothers... this memory of mine can be self-inflicting…it beats me up sometimes. I remember too much, think about them too much. But I love that I have heard their names and I love that my faith reminds me that they now have forever homes, that they have forever families that love them so very much.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We will be marking 2 years off next month. I am trying to process that in advance, to guard my heart for the day the visits start over and the year begins again. It isn’t easy. It will never be easy.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I ache today. I cry today. I will pray so very much today for peace and guidance and comfort. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">He cries with me. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I will celebrate today – a child being placed with their family is a reason to celebrate.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I will pray for the other couples who were in the hat too, the ones reacting as I am, the ones who feel lost again…they need our prayers too.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I will pray for social workers today – the ones who have to break the news, to share the news and then sigh, as they begin watching and waiting – they are like Sentinels on the wall, watching the names come in, guarding us and those on the outs, taking the information and preparing how it should be presented all the while risking their own hearts to a system so jaded.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkjUEXO01sBXV_Ob74kJno5Y845bjE_o0lSsaAQFRZvENTkKoiY9GbmqBvg-eO1Pu5_0oRRoradk1g-jhWd-ZIbCFs8oOXAAdh7iOOMm_yK3a6qhueYbeYxVe83Lll65JYuifaZ2ERQAw/s640/blogger-image-14211601.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkjUEXO01sBXV_Ob74kJno5Y845bjE_o0lSsaAQFRZvENTkKoiY9GbmqBvg-eO1Pu5_0oRRoradk1g-jhWd-ZIbCFs8oOXAAdh7iOOMm_yK3a6qhueYbeYxVe83Lll65JYuifaZ2ERQAw/s640/blogger-image-14211601.jpg"></a></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Pray for us today. Pray that we don't let our hearts be jaded by minutes ticking by, by a timeline well beyond our control. Pray for all that I have listed above and please whisper a prayer for peace, comfort, and that when we lay our heads down tonight, we add the name to the list, we don’t dwell on it, but we don’t forget it, for it is another name to cherish in this journey, another name to send prayers to and another name that my Savior created, my Savior loves and my Savior knows that one day we will be celebrating, tears of joy and elation as the name on the list becomes ours..</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">May he bind us up again….</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds… psalm 147:3</i></p>Courtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-11987020597944074382016-06-27T16:42:00.001-05:002016-06-27T16:42:55.047-05:00Update: He is evident in all things<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Hey guys. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We haven’t disappeared.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We haven’t faltered on our journey.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We have been waiting – continually.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We have been moving forward.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Our God is amazing. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1550r7xc_xuIdZQ1Ih34rGe3NcR-2aVs96JV_-J6ukA49Y5E09gmaO5Je6zafQMLhSn64FUWHektZvvB0JpPJdcQf6e9ol9iCuUaUVMPBPi9tvNOuWTAHOf2p58wC_LlEqDuK1ttTQ5o/s640/blogger-image--1007885924.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1550r7xc_xuIdZQ1Ih34rGe3NcR-2aVs96JV_-J6ukA49Y5E09gmaO5Je6zafQMLhSn64FUWHektZvvB0JpPJdcQf6e9ol9iCuUaUVMPBPi9tvNOuWTAHOf2p58wC_LlEqDuK1ttTQ5o/s640/blogger-image--1007885924.jpg"></a></div><br><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We have known that truth – constantly reminding ourselves of it, yet each encounter still sweeps me up in His glory. As the months have been passing, the hours fleeting, we’ve been waiting. We continue to wait. Yet with every post I share with each of you, with every update or non-update that I give I feel Him closer. He has this.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">As far as the children we are praying for, He still has them, out there, in the world around us or in Heaven preparing to meet us. We don’t know their names yet, their eye color, their laugh or their favorite treat. We know that they are precious; we know that they are chosen, loved and cherished. He has so much going on around us right now. Windows and doors have been flung open to us and we are stepping, taking His hand and moving along a winding but beautiful road.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I have so much to share, so much to be excited about. He is laying foundations; showing us new things that in the future, with those children, our lives will be able to continue to flourish, to grow and to provide.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">He has begun something in our life, He has opened a window, thrown back the shutters and leaned out...arms outstretched showing me the landscape and whisking me off my feet with the possibilities that can only happen with His blessing & guidance. We are grateful, leaning in, listening and stepping out…</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I lay all that is broken within me at His feet and I look to the heavens as I look to home, knowing that my God has all of this. He has seen our children, my company, our journey, our dreams…He knows them, He crafted their goodness and He is here for the bumps along the way. We have a saying in our house “He saw us first.” We believe that. In fact we stake our lives on it. So today I update you: no further movement in the adoption that <i><u>we</u></i> can see. Yet our hope grows stronger, our faith deeper and our desires more encompassing. He is evident in all things in our lives even when we fail to stop and seek Him out – He never fails to have us first & always.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I hold tight to these truths:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.” Isaiah 30:21<i></i></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRf28DmwjCiTKSW4Nw6vASNB_s5_rdAUfJh00soIOXIe1VDQ2mlif95FwBnpJmvqgZbyUOATd0MaNkTj9hGc3knQHi04k99EtRLS5joLggpvKvtybB-QUT4RTvN1hK_5jo4S8U5iKNu5g/s640/blogger-image--831148123.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRf28DmwjCiTKSW4Nw6vASNB_s5_rdAUfJh00soIOXIe1VDQ2mlif95FwBnpJmvqgZbyUOATd0MaNkTj9hGc3knQHi04k99EtRLS5joLggpvKvtybB-QUT4RTvN1hK_5jo4S8U5iKNu5g/s640/blogger-image--831148123.jpg"></a></div><br><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Psalm 139:16 You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.</i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;"><a href="http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/Psalm/139/7"><b><span style="text-decoration: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Psalm 139:7-12</span></b></a></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; line-height: 15.75pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend to heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, <span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">Even there Your hand will lead me, And Your right hand will lay hold of me. If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, And the light around me will be night," Even the darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day Darkness and light are alike to You.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; line-height: 15.75pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><br></p>Courtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-17468540127751944502016-04-05T11:51:00.001-05:002016-04-06T03:25:24.145-05:00One Thing Remains<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggTM4TGfT2fFLelmzG7qytVpVadWe7q56V4yT-w4dj_JhNSq4y-JIiCsp8-hfagmNvCHXzanof9kOmaBf91a8ymzk5VZnwxSF_PQHHcHce45ICRS1nk_FjHrK_pRuNXu59TaufX8noypI/s640/blogger-image--1812487649.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggTM4TGfT2fFLelmzG7qytVpVadWe7q56V4yT-w4dj_JhNSq4y-JIiCsp8-hfagmNvCHXzanof9kOmaBf91a8ymzk5VZnwxSF_PQHHcHce45ICRS1nk_FjHrK_pRuNXu59TaufX8noypI/s640/blogger-image--1812487649.jpg"></a></div><br></div>It started out all mixed up and crazy. We were Italy bound but JFK in NYC had winds that made the arrival of our plane 15 minutes late. 15 minutes is important when it comes to aviation control. There were 24 people on our plane headed to the same destination across the ocean. The connecting plane of 280 passengers felt the 24 of us could figure out a way without them, so it left. We landed, it took off. We grumbled, they cheered. We stepped off our plane to the words: “Run. Quick. If you don’t run you’ll miss the new connector.” So we did just that - We ran. From one side to the other and as we came to a halt at the British Airways counter, a young lady smiled and said “you must be the Barrs. Welcome aboard.” We caught our breath as we boarded that plane, we smiled as we were given better seats than what we were supposed to receive and as we began the 7 hours to London Heathrow we tried to tamp down our excitement and sleep but those big, 777-300 aircrafts have a lot of toys for the passengers and we slipped into a movie induced binge across the Atlantic. I’ve always dreamed of going to London and even though it was only a few hours I blissfully took in the accents, the verbiage and the movements of the Brits flitting through the airport. I smiled every time I heard a young child speak or a couple engage in conversation. I love the UK accent more than any other. We boarded again and finally 3 hours later than planned arrived in Italy. From there on we walked, we rode, we talked, we laughed, we admired, and we dove into living and past history. <p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCt1OEjoMK_99mLeBmn3u8V9GFT9OA87zQAFHwkpCe7zA-2d_vh4gWtU6lRtsSI7onzcL2ij6K4mLBh7KEgAS7CMOFo_vwJ9B-I8k9ioGzGVQk4ugDHhSOeylGdtZYpzsh8xP3QO12zVY/s640/blogger-image-1890625736.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCt1OEjoMK_99mLeBmn3u8V9GFT9OA87zQAFHwkpCe7zA-2d_vh4gWtU6lRtsSI7onzcL2ij6K4mLBh7KEgAS7CMOFo_vwJ9B-I8k9ioGzGVQk4ugDHhSOeylGdtZYpzsh8xP3QO12zVY/s640/blogger-image-1890625736.jpg"></a></div><br><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">From Milano to Firenze to Roma; there isn’t a location that didn’t take our breath away. The spires of the Duomo in Milano rose up around us and I immediately envisioned a time where every single detail of architecture reflected the greatest story ever told. (I also discovered a great appreciation for the years spent learning Italian)</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I cried at the Last Supper and I sat in the apron of the Pantheon in Roma, eating gnocchi and beef carpaccio with the best husband ever and our two closest friends. By this day, our anxiousness was flowing for the following day – our friends would stand before God and declare their love for one another. In the Eternal City we rode around with photographers and videographers in tow as two people we love celebrated their union. People stopped for us, took pictures of us and called out to us as we rambled amidst monuments of Caesar, Napoleon, Mussolini, and Michelangelo. We climbed 150 steps of the Santa Maria Ara Coeli Basilica, stood on the stage/altar of a building built in the 1200’s, we prayed, we blessed and we celebrated. At one time around 200 strangers entered the church, silently and respectfully watching the service as the four of us stood below rows of chandeliers and ancient paintings grinning. They cheered as we left the building and in more than 4 languages we heard congratulations and happy wishes to the couple. It was surreal. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6Ni7bHwZfAcHms1oapeo260Y_NkXYcZO3Oofm8ZgOw5XxHFoTdTLazJN8QDjO6G18DTYT_7F4zm7nr-A5ql1N4WnA2N2x0qmpWjSGhZbeJyK1BTsb7utQ94-WmhfEOpKZokhH6qoqx6c/s640/blogger-image--2099000710.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6Ni7bHwZfAcHms1oapeo260Y_NkXYcZO3Oofm8ZgOw5XxHFoTdTLazJN8QDjO6G18DTYT_7F4zm7nr-A5ql1N4WnA2N2x0qmpWjSGhZbeJyK1BTsb7utQ94-WmhfEOpKZokhH6qoqx6c/s640/blogger-image--2099000710.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUWfryeHu33YDbDXRQL5584Mn615f_VKiY-gqs0uKRATrG31lZLaNrsNSaaCusJ0Uu64xLeSPoGRIOrtufXk3YLUK9vTM5DsSBEoS7mpoAl__r1iPaU-trgn9T1S2pObCbqTUIe42ZMQ0/s640/blogger-image--1913013533.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUWfryeHu33YDbDXRQL5584Mn615f_VKiY-gqs0uKRATrG31lZLaNrsNSaaCusJ0Uu64xLeSPoGRIOrtufXk3YLUK9vTM5DsSBEoS7mpoAl__r1iPaU-trgn9T1S2pObCbqTUIe42ZMQ0/s640/blogger-image--1913013533.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1FeXIf1iITopzDJPk0lXUj9XHhaQsy7ucQGwgGgxbKE_7EYMpMVH9gkMWbsStmbDOQX4wcLuYE-aoepN9vLtujoGLFaKjN1GUv2EPDXyiBjmulIAIpvh3KyMXl9q-LucEUAv0CvnM-ek/s640/blogger-image--572085524.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1FeXIf1iITopzDJPk0lXUj9XHhaQsy7ucQGwgGgxbKE_7EYMpMVH9gkMWbsStmbDOQX4wcLuYE-aoepN9vLtujoGLFaKjN1GUv2EPDXyiBjmulIAIpvh3KyMXl9q-LucEUAv0CvnM-ek/s640/blogger-image--572085524.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizXeCVu0UynC9pjbQgakAY9abHkGs9K2nnxR6S7TKSu5IIVExSbyL24loaBqrtrlKYmWUwuyoru35EnebrFvVSf9_ZLqvwPbQMspTzbA87galqJQbjuHsFqtFRwYJS74byDGDXzDZEN5A/s640/blogger-image--867725559.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizXeCVu0UynC9pjbQgakAY9abHkGs9K2nnxR6S7TKSu5IIVExSbyL24loaBqrtrlKYmWUwuyoru35EnebrFvVSf9_ZLqvwPbQMspTzbA87galqJQbjuHsFqtFRwYJS74byDGDXzDZEN5A/s640/blogger-image--867725559.jpg"></a></div><br><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Then the next day we split and two went to begin a honeymoon – first Venice then the Maldives and we, me and the best husband ever, slipped off to Paris via Switzerland celebrating 10 years of marriage (in August) and 20 years together (in March). The night we rode…an adventure we will never forget. The arrival in Paris, dreary, rainy and gray should have made the day a bust…but its Paris and even in the rain, even in the gray it glows. Everything there is beautiful, from architecture to people to food. Both countries so different, so special; Italy embraced us while Paris pulled us in, cloaking us in pinks and crisp lines. We enjoyed every day. Even though frustrations arose and sometimes the schedules allowed for so little sleep that we began to fall every time we got in a car it was worth it. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3hIsjniXrwTB6nb91ms3_0xy1wTs_8-izV5OsryfHYyvvWRWtyC95isf0a1BSVwEcM4gKjtzz9gKOobxl7E_AgIdkFqV5Z5hDIn_M-R9et2NKNsONyY3C_zbyVqQzR_h0I2wAW5ruhb4/s640/blogger-image--2010731332.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3hIsjniXrwTB6nb91ms3_0xy1wTs_8-izV5OsryfHYyvvWRWtyC95isf0a1BSVwEcM4gKjtzz9gKOobxl7E_AgIdkFqV5Z5hDIn_M-R9et2NKNsONyY3C_zbyVqQzR_h0I2wAW5ruhb4/s640/blogger-image--2010731332.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0gCFCk5AwvxjGRWnoFFHA0bVq7OvW_EOf-WNNnfY_wRb6oVFJhXe2s7BA5TMKwQTh6Sf233r6gDDZfklzyb7CLQDQZymXnZ9_7gBpL7rLGpoYKe-mL2dqUNlIlIiCcgPmPqpYy6hZkpM/s640/blogger-image-530566522.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0gCFCk5AwvxjGRWnoFFHA0bVq7OvW_EOf-WNNnfY_wRb6oVFJhXe2s7BA5TMKwQTh6Sf233r6gDDZfklzyb7CLQDQZymXnZ9_7gBpL7rLGpoYKe-mL2dqUNlIlIiCcgPmPqpYy6hZkpM/s640/blogger-image-530566522.jpg"></a></div><br></div><br><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It ended as it began, all mixed up and crazy. Long lines at Charles de Gaulle, again flights missed in JFK on the way home and the route changed, but worn out and tired we landed safely in BHAM, completely altered by so many things we saw and loved so far and different from home.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We never expected to be in Europe this year. We are grateful that we had the opportunity and that seeing the world actually brought us to cherish so much in our hearts. We know that the children God has for us may come from any part of the US and/or the rest of the world. We know that these travels on the surface seem to just be vacation beauties…but there were many moments that grounded us and in particular there was a moment, in London at Heathrow airport where a young girl with strawberry blonde hair and fair skin held the hand of her brother, a young boy with tight dark curls and cocoa skin; looked up at her mother a copper headed woman and began to ask if she could show her “new brother” the dog scarf on the rack beside them that my heart skipped a beat. The mother saw me watching and I smiled. She told her daughter yes and as we both stood at the counter to purchase our wares she sighed and said in the loveliest accent “He just came to us. She is in love with him. We adopted her at birth, you see and he, well he comes from a place that was horrible…” she stopped and teared up. I simply said. “Your children are beautiful.” The softest smile and the nicest thank you were whispered as the associate stepped up to ask which of us was next. I breathed in, held the tears at bay and let the moment wash over me. I pray that no matter what, no matter where we journey to in the world, that people who see our family in the future, the words they whisper are the ones the Holy Spirit gave me in that moment. I could have just nodded, I could have just smiled or pressed her for more information, but the words slipped like water and the transformation on her face reminded me that love is such a powerful thing, because God loved me, I got to share some love with her. The beauty of that family will remain with me forever.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Higher than the mountains that I face</i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Stronger than the power of the grave</i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Constant through the trial and the change</i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">One thing…remains….</i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Your love never fails, never gives up</i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Never runs out on me</i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">On and on and on and on it goes</i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It overwhelms and satisfies my soul</i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">And I never, ever, have to be afraid</i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">One thing remains</i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">In death, in life, I’m confident and</i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Covered by the power of Your great love</i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">My debt is paid, there’s nothing than can</i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Separate my heart from Your great love.</i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"></i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUqNpaofOrKRMNAhrbuU2paMdU-pkwjmdIRHI92naR2EovkGE0LB7EdaoAKVieuWdPzq52FvH83v2dhu9WKc3rJMmkaK_VL2SsvB1bU1sVUs_LalqtEy_oqOgnvouWx-Z53Ic6_wVLUU8/s640/blogger-image-167966846.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUqNpaofOrKRMNAhrbuU2paMdU-pkwjmdIRHI92naR2EovkGE0LB7EdaoAKVieuWdPzq52FvH83v2dhu9WKc3rJMmkaK_VL2SsvB1bU1sVUs_LalqtEy_oqOgnvouWx-Z53Ic6_wVLUU8/s640/blogger-image-167966846.jpg"></a></i></div><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></i><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 15.180000305175781px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">-Jesus Culture “One Thing Remains”</i></p>Courtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-81705258358426384392016-03-15T16:22:00.001-05:002016-03-15T19:07:17.625-05:00Immersion<div><i style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. - Colossians 4:2</i></div><div><div class="WordSection1" style="page: WordSection1;"><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Pray continually – 1 Thessalonians 5:17</i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. – Philippians 4:6 </i><span style="line-height: 19.933334350585938px;"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i><br></i></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i></i></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOdtKAWyw5iCPCBxBeUJQSINuwuk_dTo7mgn_vOugQ9TtDALYdLniGAwN73DT0DC2w4gZ2T0trs1JtNYsERXXcdoggk2gzdXQiiOuJqg0WFBacl6JQ7p174Cm8DjdBpqEMABr1-rKvigE/s640/blogger-image--1452797025.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOdtKAWyw5iCPCBxBeUJQSINuwuk_dTo7mgn_vOugQ9TtDALYdLniGAwN73DT0DC2w4gZ2T0trs1JtNYsERXXcdoggk2gzdXQiiOuJqg0WFBacl6JQ7p174Cm8DjdBpqEMABr1-rKvigE/s640/blogger-image--1452797025.jpg"></a></i></div><i><br></i><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="line-height: 19.933334350585938px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I have found myself surrounding my thoughts, forging my plans and discovering new things within the beauty that is prayer. My songs have become prayer, my thoughts, my visions of what is to come. It is an immersion I never expected and an adventure that is wonderfully welcome. It isn’t always easy, it isn’t always second nature; but it <i>is</i> a way to find peace in the chaos – every single time.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="line-height: 19.933334350585938px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The last 7 months have been a rollercoaster ride through this adoption journey. We have already read a large number of “you have not been selected” emails and we know that there could be many more before the child God sees for us finally fills our arms. He/she is already in our hearts. The child we have not even met, even know when born, even know when we will meet already has a place in our life. He/she fills our prayers, our thoughts and our dreams. We know that the day will come when our family grows by one, then by two and then by….well…God’s plans are always interesting and we are definitely leaning in to hear what He has in store. We know that He has us, has the best for us and this desire we have comes from Him and Him alone.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="line-height: 19.933334350585938px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">For now, we are still waiting. We watch emails on Wednesday’s like hawks (Social worker R meets with the other states and their social workers on Wednesdays, so lets just say we are attune to our email more acutely on Wed/Thurs than any other day), we recently were in the mix for a child in KY but sadly we were not selected. It was on a Saturday morning that we received the news & as heart wrenching as it always is, my heart took it better than it has before. It wasn’t due to hardening or bitterness – in contrast it was because I’m believing in the power of prayer, in the comfort of prayer and in the truth of prayer. I trust that the Lord will send us the additions to our family, He will do so in His time and every time we get to hear a birthmother’s name, get to read a dossier on these women we are given the opportunity to pray…for a stranger, for a woman/girl who may be family one day, for a child we may welcome home one day, for a girl we may never meet, for a family we may never be a part of…the “mays” are many. But the important part of all this is: <i>opportunity to pray.</i> <b>What an honor!</b> We get to be intercessors for these young women, these unborn/born children, their families, their futures…What a beauty it is to pray for someone, even though the email comes that says “you have not been selected” tears at my soul, my spirit reminds me that I still must pray for them. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="line-height: 19.933334350585938px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I won’t forget their names, their bits of information and the hope I felt when I read their info summaries. I remember every one and each one is a piece of me, a portion of my heart that is building a memorial to the children we will one day have. I pray that someone prays for us when we are selected, that the couples that receive the emails we see now stop and pray for us, that they love us and that they hope for us. I am excited for that day, for now I will pray in all things and wait for His timing.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="line-height: 19.933334350585938px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">While we wait we are preparing for a trip, one that I have always dreamed of taking and one that we know will be a beautiful celebration of two friends getting married and an opportunity to see a part of the world much different from our own.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="line-height: 19.933334350585938px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">For now I leave you all, our wonderful Village, with some fabulous travel words that always make me smile….</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Once a year, go somewhere you have never been before….- Anonymous</i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="line-height: 23px;"> </span></span><i><span style="line-height: 19.933334350585938px;">“To my mind, the greatest reward and luxury of travel is to be able to experience everyday things as if for the first time, to be in a position in which almost nothing is so familiar it is taken for granted.” – Bill Bryson</span></i><span style="line-height: 19.933334350585938px;"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><br></p></div></div>Courtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-49676345500041994012016-01-20T11:58:00.001-06:002016-01-20T16:28:05.980-06:002016, Our Heart's Desires, Praying & Living Intentionally<p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me. Nevertheless, not My will, but Yours, be done. Luke <a dir="ltr" href="x-apple-data-detectors://0" x-apple-data-detectors="true" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors-result="0">22:42</a><o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Every day I receive a daily devotional via email. I like that method because it allows me to read any time during the day and also to keep my favorites handy. This morning I was pleasantly surprised to see the excerpt was taken from a book I have not yet read but by an author I followed quite closely through their caringbridge website a few years back. Laura Sobiech posted religiously about her son’s battle with cancer and through her I discovered a talented musician and a faithful heart that for the world was gone way too soon. Zach Sobiech touched my heart with his unfailing faith, his love of family and his desire to leave this earth as a joyous spirit. His mother’s strength is one of the most beautiful impressions of love for her child and her Savior. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The excerpt, from her book “<i>fly a little higher”</i>, pulled me in before I even felt the tears collect in my eyes. She spoke of those moments where you know you have faith, you know that you are a believer, but where you are placing your hope is something to reflect on. I have never been in the situation she has, but I can relate to the version of prayer where we are placing our prayers/our hope on what we want our Father in heaven to do – how we want to pray hard enough for Him to do what we desire as we see it should be done. I’ve been praying that way for awhile now. Knowing that I am not in control, knowing that He knows best, He sees better and He desires the best for me; yet I try to conform what He has in store into what I want. The adoption process is number one on this list for me. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Back in December when we heard again that we were not chosen, I broke down. I was mad this time. I had been praying specifically, praying for <i>my</i>specific purposes rather than praying with intent, for God’s purposes. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I ran afterwards.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We started with Dallas and the playoff game. It was a release to just enjoy the time with family and just pretend that it wasn’t meant to happen so “oh well”. Then we were blessed to get tickets to Phoenix – national championship game. Again, throwing any feelings of anger or aggravation against the wall and deciding to just enjoy the time with <i>M the Best Husband Ever</i> in Vegas & Phoenix for a few days. Then New York last weekend, I tossed the idea of worrying about adoption processes and threw myself into the fun birthday weekend I will forever treasure with my Duchess. Not one trip is regrettable, not one trip is something I would trade with anyone – I have had an amazing last 20 days and my birthday week was top notch. Granted I’ve been through all the time zones and to be honest my body is still not sure which one is the correct one yet and I’ve walked more airports and landscapes in those 20 days than some may ever get to do. I know all this. I know that these days were meant to happen just as I know we weren’t meant to get that Christmas child I was praying for…this past December. It may be that my Christmas child is meant for February or March or July or August or November or December of this year or the next. Time is perfect in God’s plans. It is frustrating in ours.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We tell ourselves that we are focusing on what He asks us to focus on while sometimes we are tricking ourselves, we are still holding onto what we control, what we feel should be the result/response/ending/beginning/change/consistency of how <b>we</b> see it to be. We have to shift our sights, stop placing our hope on the point in the distance that we see it <i>should</i> be and place it on what He reminds us is the <b><i>greatest</i></b> point. Laura says it exactly like this: <i>Hope is about raising our eyes from a point on the horizon to the heavens and into eternity.(</i>Laura Sobiech<i>, Fly a Little Higher)</i><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">She references that this prayer, these words from Luke <a dir="ltr" href="x-apple-data-detectors://1" x-apple-data-detectors="true" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors-result="1">22:42</a> <i>Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me. Nevertheless, not My will, but Yours, be done. </i>is the perfect prayer for those moments when we just can’t even fathom how to pray anymore, when we struggle with what to ask for, how to ask for it and what we are to do. She is right. This is where even Jesus, kneeling in agony, turned to the Heavens as he had wrestled with God’s will but KNEW that His Father’s will was greater, that His Father’s plans were perfect, that His Father was all knowing, that His Father’s timing is/was/forever will be the best timing; to that knowledge the son surrendered completely.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">How on earth can I expect that <i>I</i> could bend God’s will to my wants? It’s laughable when I type it out on the screen; truly, hilarious. Even though in the moments of weakness where I question how things happen, the whys, laughter is the farthest from me. But I have a very compassionate and grace filled Heavenly Father. So He has given us the words in Luke and also more in Psalms.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Now, I’m approaching prayer and my day to day differently. I want to live intentionally. I want to pray intentionally. Don’t get me wrong, He asks us to speak our heart’s desires, our wants, our needs…those prayers are still there, but the life I lead around those prayers has to adjust to His purposes, how I accept what happens to those desires is to be handled differently. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">In all this I must admit that when I pray I know that in my human nature there will be times that I will still expect it to be as I see it should be and sometimes it might turn out that way, but <b><i>every time</i></b> His answer or non-answer will remain the perfect answer <b>He has</b> <b>for</b> <b><i>me</i></b>; so my hope will rest differently, my prayers will be specific to His intent and my way will need to change to be His, not mine. I will give Him my worries, my hesitations, my need for control and the view that I feel everything should be and I will receive His will, His view, His guidance…for He runs to me, wanting me to get not the good, but the BEST there ever could be. I will still ache when the hurt comes, grateful for the compassion and the love He has for me; but I plan to not dwell on the ache but use it to shift my perspective, to move closer to Him and to lean into Him.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">So for 2016, a year already historical in our house, I’m making steps to living intentionally. I’m placing my hope heavenward not on the horizon. He has that Christmas child out there chosen for us, perhaps we need to adjust our view of the how/when to <u>it will be as it is supposed to be in the perfect time, the perfect manner and the most perfect precious journey. </u><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">As always, thank you Village for loving us, for supporting us, for praying with and for us…please don’t stop, our journey already has had many twists and turns, thanks to each of you we weather each obstacle with higher hopes, better views and the love of a family that spans all walks of all realms. Be safe and have a happy 2016.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">For those that need Psalm 37…. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">1 <b>Do not worry</b> because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong;<o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" style="text-align: start; widows: auto; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">2 for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" style="text-align: start; widows: auto; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">3 <b>Trust in the LORD and do good</b>; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" style="text-align: start; widows: auto; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">4 <b>Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.</b><b><o:p></o:p></b></span></p><p align="center" style="text-align: start; widows: auto; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">5 <b>Commit your way to the LORD</b>; trust in him and he will do this:<o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" style="text-align: start; widows: auto; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">7 <b>Rest before the LORD and wait patiently for him</b>; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" style="text-align: start; widows: auto; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">19 In times of disaster they will not wither; in days of famine they will enjoy plenty.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" style="text-align: start; widows: auto; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">23 If the LORD delights in a man’s way, he makes his steps firm;<o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" style="text-align: start; widows: auto; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">24 though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" style="text-align: start; widows: auto; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">25 I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" style="text-align: start; widows: auto; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">28 For the LORD loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones. They will be protected forever, but the offspring of the wicked will be cut off;<o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" style="text-align: start; widows: auto; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">31 The law of his God is in his heart; his feet do not slip.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" style="text-align: start; widows: auto; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">34 Wait for the LORD and keep his way. He will exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are cut off, you will see it.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" style="text-align: start; widows: auto; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">37 Consider the blameless, observe the upright; there is a future for the man of peace.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" style="text-align: start; widows: auto; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">39 The salvation of the righteous comes from the LORD; he is their stronghold in time of trouble.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" style="text-align: start; widows: auto; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; line-height: 18pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">40 The LORD helps them and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in him.</span></p>Courtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-65594421453398715022015-12-28T14:03:00.001-06:002015-12-28T14:03:13.895-06:00Christmas, News and the Bravery of His Enduring Love...<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><o:p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </o:p><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Dear Sweet Village,</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We wish you the Merriest of Christmas seasons and the best into this Happy New Year. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">pray that each of you weathered and continue to weather this season of storms. It has been one crazy Christmas in the South, temperatures in the upper 70s, low 80s; tornados, flash floods and blustery winds. The sorcerers…er…Meteorologist…suggest that cold weather is to come behind all this and for the first time in years I’m excited for the chill, for the much needed comfort found in hot tea, warm blankets and the chill that comes when you step outside in the mornings.</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Our family was able to spend 3 lovely Christmases with our families. Each home is such a delight to visit and we truly love the traditions that have been created over the past years and the excitement for new ones to come.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Most of you were not aware that over the Christmas weekend Marcus and I were watching our email like hawks, awaiting an update on the possibility of being chosen as parents to a beautiful baby girl. However, again we are not here to proclaim the news that we are parents…instead I’m typing through tears and yet I’m still smiling with every word. It isn’t getting easier and I pray it doesn’t – that would infer a hardened heart. Through all of this I’ve remained the sensitive, heart on sleeve person that I have always been. I cried sitting in the Target parking lot as I read the words, then I spoke out loud to my Heavenly Father…letting my cries be heard in the heavenly realm as the heavenly chorus comforted me with His word and the lyrics that played through my radio. I listen to the Message on Sirius XM, today I was reminded why I do. Tom Carter’s voice spoke “The end is a new beginning, the end is a new beginning…sometimes we just don’t see it just yet.” I cried again but this time with a little chuckle through my snotty nose. I hadn’t even called M yet to tell him…I just couldn’t say it again just yet. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It is the oddest sensation every time I read the words that deliver the hardest news as we wait patiently for our Heavenly Father’s plan to be seen. It’s as though I’ve lost something I never had, never knew yet there is a connection that is undeniable. I also get the boomerang of happiness for a child and a family that is now complete – it is a war in my heart and thankfully the promise that we will one day have the family He has chosen for us does give me great comfort. Of course when I called M he began to speak the life giving words that my spirit already proclaims but my heart turns away, wanting to mourn a loss that is indescribable and yet seemingly without reason. His words came through the phone, uplifting, reminding me of God’s perfect promises and His perfect plan for us. I heard him and I thanked him. He could hear the catch in my voice and when he apologized the tears fell again. He apologizes to me because I am the one who sees the emails first, because he loves me and he hates for me to hurt; yet I know that he hurts as well, that he mourns a loss unknown and a possibility that passes without reason or explanation. He truly is the most amazing husband, partner and friend God could have seen for me. My heart aches each time for him and for the child that he will not know. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Then I have to stop. To pull myself up and realize that other couples were waiting too, other couples are hurting now, and that though the process starts again, we are hopeful, full of faith and love for our Savior’s promises.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">For now, this moment, the tears shake tenderly behind my eyelids aching to roll down my cheeks, but instead I will close my eyes and play one of my favorite songs; allowing the melody and lyrics to cover me with His love.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 12pt; text-align: center;"></p><div style="text-align: start;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I stand before You now</i></div><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><div style="text-align: start;"><i>The greatness of your renown</i></div><div style="text-align: start;"><i>I have heard of the majesty and wonder of you</i></div><div style="text-align: start;"><i>King of Heaven, in humility, I bow</i></div><o:p></o:p></i><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 12pt; text-align: center;"></p><div style="text-align: start;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">As Your love, in wave after wave</i></div><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><div style="text-align: start;"><i>Crashes over me, crashes over me</i></div><div style="text-align: start;"><i>For You are for us</i></div><div style="text-align: start;"><i>You are not against us</i></div><div style="text-align: start;"><i>Champion of Heaven</i></div><div style="text-align: start;"><i>You made a way for all to enter in</i></div><o:p></o:p></i><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 12pt; text-align: center;"></p><div style="text-align: start;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I have heard You calling my name</i></div><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><div style="text-align: start;"><i>I have heard the song of love that You sing</i></div><div style="text-align: start;"><i>So I will let You draw me out beyond the shore</i></div><div style="text-align: start;"><i>Into Your grace</i></div><div style="text-align: start;"><i>Your grace</i></div><o:p></o:p></i><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 12pt; text-align: center;"></p><div style="text-align: start;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">You make me brave</i></div><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><div style="text-align: start;"><i>You make me brave</i></div><div style="text-align: start;"><i>You call me out beyond the shore into the waves</i></div><div style="text-align: start;"><i>You make me brave</i></div><div style="text-align: start;"><i>You make me brave</i></div><div style="text-align: start;"><i>No fear can hinder now the love that made a way</i></div><o:p></o:p></i><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 12pt; text-align: center;"></p><div style="text-align: start;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">You make me brave</i></div><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><div style="text-align: start;"><i>You make me brave</i></div><div style="text-align: start;"><i>You call me out beyond the shore into the waves</i></div><div style="text-align: start;"><i>You make me brave</i></div><div style="text-align: start;"><i>You make me brave</i></div><div style="text-align: start;"><i>No fear can hinder now the promises you made</i></div><div style="text-align: start;"><i>You make me brave</i></div><div style="text-align: start;"><i>You make me brave</i></div><div style="text-align: start;"><i>You call me out beyond the shore into the waves</i></div><o:p></o:p></i><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 12pt; text-align: center;"></p><div style="text-align: start;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">You make me brave</i></div><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><div style="text-align: start;"><i>You make me brave</i></div><div style="text-align: start;"><i>No fear can hinder now the promises you made…</i></div><o:p></o:p></i><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 12pt;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">-Bethel Music “you make me brave”<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 12pt;"><b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Proverbs 3:5 <o:p></o:p></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 12pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><b>Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.</b><b><o:p></o:p></b></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span style="line-height: 20.700000762939453px;"><br><br><br></span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><o:p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </o:p></p>Courtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-32027254284777755592015-12-15T09:32:00.001-06:002015-12-15T09:57:36.807-06:00Advent, Adoption and the Village with a Heart Like David…<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUOOdWWCQXlXMASW5zi8BkALN4tQL82r27L9x2hfahDf0i9lw_0JhkufiAoKqJPDPA_2btGp39PlxQ95100ahrvGk0N4gg9fEML1b_rpPAJjXznaA85RLAGiK6DgqskKlbxSzPX2kxQWQ/s640/blogger-image-319038870.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUOOdWWCQXlXMASW5zi8BkALN4tQL82r27L9x2hfahDf0i9lw_0JhkufiAoKqJPDPA_2btGp39PlxQ95100ahrvGk0N4gg9fEML1b_rpPAJjXznaA85RLAGiK6DgqskKlbxSzPX2kxQWQ/s640/blogger-image-319038870.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I took a moment in the bustle of this past weekend to be still. To think about the current season, the past one and the upcoming one. Only 120 hours prior to this moment I had trolled Facebook before heading to a weekend FREEDOM conference with my lovely church. It is my second visit to this conference – the first I was a participant – this time I was a servant to the participants, a volunteer, a spectator and an intercessor on their behalf. I knew that for at least 24-36 hours my social media moments would truly be stolen, quick ones – more focused on posting the success of the conference and open hearts than on the typical daily troll of other people’s updates. So I was trolling slowly, soaking in the social aspect of IG and FB. I noticed a trend on the posts coming from our “root Village”. Camden was having a week. One of those weeks where knees humbly grace the floor while heads bowed lay softly upon the Savior’s knee. He was with them last week, as He always is, from every home, every business, an outpouring of lament and love for two very sweet young men. One struggling in a hospital searching for answers and another returning home to our precious village with an answer heartbreaking in its discovery; he now faces leukemia, treatments and more questions to follow the answers. But in all this, in these two stories of heartache for young men, family, and friends…I saw it again…that outpouring, far reaching, all-encompassing love that moves mountains, destroys disease, mends a heart, lifts a spirit, shines light into the darkness and warms the soul. My “root Village” is a Miracle Mount in South Alabama. It is a place where community isn’t just a public grouping of people; it is a place alive with hope, compassion and light. The kind that breaks through the darkest FB posts, where the simple word “praying” on a comment line is truly a representative of the person whose name it accompanies. Yes, these two young men are facing trials, giants even in their lives, but they come from a town with a heart like David. Be strong. Have faith, lay your hope and your love on our Savior.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhvE9cOA_jTsoS6sKRQXJTWSy5IoB1ygWFE4nr1v2T3eVYeWq10tFdP-1MUUktUNjKk2PnSvSDli81CmjSQwetPQ3OfUI-wGazd40_ZL51imJhR8g0l8lWOPQVtrQCk_K09LNRYxZKkfE/s640/blogger-image-344379059.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhvE9cOA_jTsoS6sKRQXJTWSy5IoB1ygWFE4nr1v2T3eVYeWq10tFdP-1MUUktUNjKk2PnSvSDli81CmjSQwetPQ3OfUI-wGazd40_ZL51imJhR8g0l8lWOPQVtrQCk_K09LNRYxZKkfE/s640/blogger-image-344379059.jpg"></a></div><br><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">In this same spirit as I read the stories of praying for these boys I stumbled upon ADVENT. Our church, for the first time, is doing an ADVENT post each day. When I was young my parents had this tree, faux branches, about 13 inches tall that had little drawers all over the base; actual drawers, with knobs and numbers. Each drawer held a tiny ornament that would be placed on the tree as the days counted down. I used to love to pull out each ornament, watching the calendar as each day came. I got excited anticipating what little treasure I’d discover. No matter that the ornaments were the same every year, just reorganized to be in different drawers – there was something about the waiting, the expectancy, the excitement that captivated me; even when a bad day wanted to weigh me down I looked forward to that tiny ritual. For me the anticipation of something can be where I really enjoy the moments coming. It spans so many themes personally: vacations, birthday week, parties, football games – the categories can be endless. This year my thoughts are occupied with many of those things yet there is <i>more</i>. Advent is more than just numbers on a calendar leading to the presents and celebration of the holiday. It is waiting, anticipating, expectancy; yearning…it is where I am this season. I love Christmas. I love the feelings it inspires and the kindness it evokes. I love the presents –giving & receiving. But ADVENT is different. I read recently <i>“Advent is the question, the pleading, and Christmas is the answer to that question…advent gives us another option beyond false Christmas cheer or Scrooge. Advent says the Baby is coming, but He isn’t here yet, that Hope is on its way, but the yearning is still very real. Advent allows us to tell the truth about what we’re grieving, without giving up on the gorgeous and extravagant promise of Christmas, the Baby on His way.”</i> (<i><u>Savor</u></i> by Shauna Niequist) For us, personally, the words ‘the Baby is coming’ struck me so hard, so fiercely that I burst into tears. He never lets me forget that He is ALWAYS planning for us, that He WILL fulfill His promises and that we need to slow down, reflect on the waiting and remember to trust Him always. As right now two specific families in our root village await information day in and day out as to how their sweet sons are progressing, we wait to hear any and every update on the child(ren) we are praying for (still no update or change in the process by the way). <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIl0DKwi2MtJ7RTy_n5qTalP1i8D4N3HLfbsqlfpQ-wwR0Nudhimse-6Hnie5hJqcOZ1GKWmP0E0V49XvGzBCpDKnz4HRWDR_mSycCsrWVtMVK1YcSLWMPa9hPovb9zDKn-Doj4HhirQE/s640/blogger-image--1109672043.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIl0DKwi2MtJ7RTy_n5qTalP1i8D4N3HLfbsqlfpQ-wwR0Nudhimse-6Hnie5hJqcOZ1GKWmP0E0V49XvGzBCpDKnz4HRWDR_mSycCsrWVtMVK1YcSLWMPa9hPovb9zDKn-Doj4HhirQE/s640/blogger-image--1109672043.jpg"></a></div><br><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> Learning all this in the past few days changed ADVENT in my heart, it has me thanking God for the season that understands heart’s desires, loneliness, uncertainty, long nights and desperate prayers…we must remember to open ourselves to ADVENT, to the anticipation and belief that what is broken will be beautiful, what is lost will be found, what is empty will be filled, what is desired will be fulfilled…trust Him. This season is often our reminder of happy days but it also is a time where we miss our loved ones already gone, where we fear the year looming ahead and the answers to questions we never really wanted to ask. But thankfully in all the glitter and glitz there is the simplest beauty to be found, the fact that its okay to tell the truth about our grievances and still be excited for Christmas. Our disappointments, our worries, our heartaches are very real, but a very real Hope and Promise is on the way and He fulfills His promises. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnk415GSukwgaIXa1XUkWt4_fb60IjrL_Axhw8Dyc2M6_OulXKf3aoYAlxxl9esYbhopKShduqEKxQ6QSAE321w1EXP9BAItPVLsbZCm-8myN6VZcJr78mut_ewN1YJeq9_a5jqUTydAQ/s640/blogger-image--229598557.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnk415GSukwgaIXa1XUkWt4_fb60IjrL_Axhw8Dyc2M6_OulXKf3aoYAlxxl9esYbhopKShduqEKxQ6QSAE321w1EXP9BAItPVLsbZCm-8myN6VZcJr78mut_ewN1YJeq9_a5jqUTydAQ/s640/blogger-image--229598557.jpg"></a></div><br><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><o:p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><o:p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </o:p></p></div>Courtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-72505199219999914432015-10-28T20:21:00.001-05:002015-10-28T20:22:39.414-05:00Update: Category 5 - Rejection Rips you to the Core....<div>Psalm 34:17-20 “When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.”</div><div><br></div><div>John 15:18 If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you.</div><div><br></div><div>Lamentations 3:31-33 ”For the Lord will not cast off forever, but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love; for he does not willingly afflict or grieve the children of men”</div><div><br></div><div>So this is the pain of rejection, of words on a page that bring you to your knees. I thought I knew what it felt like. I’ve been that girl that wasn’t pretty enough or smart enough or too curvy or too short or the girl who is being punished because of things shes done – the world’s accusations beat and batter against you like the tide to the shore, slowly eroding layer after layer. I know that for some these simple phrases do not cut but for years I held onto them, never letting my eyes see myself as God sees me. Then for a brief moment of time I lived surrounded by the most diverse set of people and they all saw me differently but I am so very grateful that for the most part they saw me as this Southern, sweet, caring soul and they embraced my ‘flaws’ , lifted me with their words and actions, became my friends and family. God placed them in my life, strangers, who knew nothing of where I was from or where I was going and I became different, stronger in my weaknesses and happier in my sorrows. It was the Spirit leading them to my life and I to theirs.</div><div><br></div><div>Then life phase 3 came at me headstrong and wanting to tear my layers apart. The enemy really knows how to break us down. He chips away at each insecurity trying to get us to forget that God can do anything and we can do anything when we have God. This morning, at 9:50 a.m., the first of what I now classify as Category 5 rejection (on a 5 being the worst) I saw in my inbox the name of a birthmother. It was an update from our Social Worker “R”. “Good morning! I wanted to let you know as soon as I heard that ‘birthmother’ has chosen a couple and you were not the one she chose.” Yep, instantaneous pressure on my chest, shifting pain from my eyes to my toes, a tension that wasn’t there seconds before rolled down my back and I couldn’t stop the tears. They came, rushing, silent and painful. I never expected it to cut so deep. After all these years of just believing that no was forever the answer and just recently truly believing the yes possibilities…like vapor one of our options is gone. Flitted away as a whisper and mourned now because of its impact. I will not apologize for the tears, for succumbing today to the sadness that we are not part of that child’s plan. We know and believe that God has the best laid plans for us…but to tell you that I handled rejection with ease, that the words on the page were merely dusted off my heart would be the biggest lie I have ever told. It hurts. It rips me up knowing that we are no longer an option in that race. We have been removed for whatever reason. I won’t lie and say I don’t now think about our profile “Is there something we left out or shouldn’t have put in? Would she have liked us better if we had this or that or a picture of this or a story about that?” In my weakest moments these questions will be on repeat and I will need to let God be my strength so that it does not eat me alive. I focused on some tasks at home this evening and began to stand up a little straighter when the second email pinged on my phone. Category 5 continued to spin out of control: Birthmother number two has also decided to select another couple. The next 2 hours I found my personal bottom for the day. It lies somewhere between Pizza Hut thin crust cheese pizza and a large Mountain Dew. Yes, I ate a little bit of my feelings, but M made me laugh. He mourned a loss that in some ways makes no sense but it is there nonetheless. He doesn’t know how to comfort me during these moments; he is saddened but he doesn’t want both of us to be sad so he played some great songs, hugged me until I blew snot, let me stand motionless and sad in the kitchen then he reminded me of God’s timing, of His plans, of His grace and of who I am in Christ. My mind races and to calm it I am searching the scriptures, searching my heart and leaning with all the breath I have on God and M. Please pray for the birthmothers who just made the biggest decision of their lives, pray for us as we move forward, pray for our peace in these things when we do not understand and pray that tonight when I lay my head on the pillow that my tears slow, my heart softens and my dreams are full of His words of great plans for all who believe in Him.</div><div><br></div><div>As always, thank you for being our village.</div><div><br></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Psalms 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.</span></div><div>Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.</div><div><br></div>Courtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-65465277978560328442015-10-21T17:29:00.001-05:002015-10-21T17:34:37.524-05:00Yetis, Rollercoasters, And Birthmothers<p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Veni. Vidi. Amavi.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We came. We saw. We loved.<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I’ve wanted to do an update for about two weeks now…as it all began…my fingers just haven’t been at the keyboard really. Yet today I laughed at a picture from our weekend getaway and it brought me back, back to moments of reflection, gratefulness and humility. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Have you ever stood in line for a rollercoaster? Waiting in the que as the line winds closer and closer to the moment you will step foot into a vehicle that is going to sling you every which way at high speeds, big climbs and dangerous drops; excitement wars with anxiousness every time I get ready to ride one. I say a simple prayer for safety and then I just let it all go. I trust the mechanics, the operator, the set design, the track, the vehicle and the weather. Every component is just given away, let go of and all I put my energy into is the sheer fun of riding “Everest” to find the Yeti who tore the track in two. I buy into the fun of the story we traveled while standing in a 25 minute line for a 90 second ride. There are truths and lies along the way. Disney is the master at developing a ‘que’ that sucks you in. They spare no inch of your environment in order to tell the story of the attraction you are on. Sometimes there are real animal/climate/travel facts and sprinkled here and there are the ‘embellishments’ to the legend/lore that makes the ride a fairytale flash bomb. It is genius and wonderful. </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiKRKodgEVL7raZ2WcPhZCJD8ZylTitmbq88BAatpcxe994ZWlsX1paqI2vOIBd4fqPj6Jz641ZVjRirQz2ljR9GQMOO-Yr7G_7Rml9SfNKakuGIPLg1VjfpTf_0wx2jd5LJpTbeg6s7U/s640/blogger-image-1240693331.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiKRKodgEVL7raZ2WcPhZCJD8ZylTitmbq88BAatpcxe994ZWlsX1paqI2vOIBd4fqPj6Jz641ZVjRirQz2ljR9GQMOO-Yr7G_7Rml9SfNKakuGIPLg1VjfpTf_0wx2jd5LJpTbeg6s7U/s640/blogger-image-1240693331.jpg"></a></div><br></div></div><o:p></o:p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We were so beyond blessed to get to get away for the weekend. I’ve been tightly wound for a few weeks now and we had planned this trip really right after Thanksgiving last year. Thankful for travel reward point systems that allow us to do all of this on a fabulous budget while still being able to save for the family we have coming to us.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Lately we’ve been on rollercoasters in the most literal and figurative ways. As we climbed the big hill at Expedition Everest in Disney World last weekend for the second time I couldn’t help but laugh. M sat beside me giddy as a 12 year old and laughing out loud at the sheer fun of flying around that track. I'm so grateful to have the truth of a fabulous partner in life like M. His zest for enjoying every bit of the process is contagious and he is my rock on more than one occasion lately. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">In the past two weeks we have been honored to be able to have our profile available for 3 birthmothers. THREE! Guys, that’s crazy awesome. Please, please keep us in your prayers…just pray hard for the birthmothers and those babies the most, even before us. We know that these women are facing decisions that are the biggest in their lives, we know that God has them and those children in His hands and we know that no matter what…no matter if they choose us, choose to parent or choose another couple the most important thing is that they know they are loved. This is the lesson He has had us learning to discern from the get go. We want children. So badly that I cried watching a line of children sing and dance as they followed Daisy & Donald around the tables of Tusker House in Animal Kingdom – I couldn’t stop the flow, I couldn’t hold it in, and I couldn’t stop smiling at the same time as I stared at M across the table. He grabbed my hand and told me he loved me and ‘our time is coming’.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">He is right. I knew it even before he said it, but saying it sometimes is very important; speaking it out loud strikes a chord and had me feeling God’s presence almost immediately. I had prayed a very specific prayer 3 weeks ago and God answered within almost 48 hours that we would be submitting our profile to a birthmother and here we sit…3 birthmothers reviewing our photos, our story. Siting in that restaurant His answer was even more swift and clear. Luke <a dir="ltr" href="x-apple-data-detectors://1" x-apple-data-detectors="true" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors-result="1">1:45</a> reminded me “Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her.” He does not post faux facts on the walls of our life. Even when we are confused, even when we cannot understand, His promises are always the better for us. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipmf_D0zzjT9nhCSqi6OhDacsOKeQRBGItapMkT_nGiBE-TLuFBrhrssIUUZrCNnrGnZ4veaezFPYdErf8PHGnwHffobXF6H1FyaD-ddtNL_MLkVYh8KIArlk0cqx3tzuIh1nMiZicg0A/s640/blogger-image--1768795219.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipmf_D0zzjT9nhCSqi6OhDacsOKeQRBGItapMkT_nGiBE-TLuFBrhrssIUUZrCNnrGnZ4veaezFPYdErf8PHGnwHffobXF6H1FyaD-ddtNL_MLkVYh8KIArlk0cqx3tzuIh1nMiZicg0A/s640/blogger-image--1768795219.jpg"></a></div><br><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We rode Everest back to back that afternoon. We were pretty blessed to only stand in line for 25 minutes (longest line all weekend was right at 28 minutes)to ride one of our favorite 90 second rides. It makes me breathe deeply with anticipation when I think about the amount of time that God has been working on our story while we wait to see where our rollercoaster goes next. His timing is perfect. It seems long and drawn out to us at times, but looking at the thrill of 90 seconds on a manmade rollercoaster gets me giddy with excitement as I think about the thrill He has planned for us for our remaining life here and even more so for our eternal life.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI0UqOPZU31Z6LckuOgQUP0_k_wgyhPKK01NJBYv6LQCkrh1Cs6nizq8Lu-Crb_BLJWa1TF7x2xANnxMSWNarWBDH2DtwxcGobVSkTRwMpQ5k6SoVolyJfEPdDBuZuSlN-A2GPCeUUhwk/s640/blogger-image--91073324.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI0UqOPZU31Z6LckuOgQUP0_k_wgyhPKK01NJBYv6LQCkrh1Cs6nizq8Lu-Crb_BLJWa1TF7x2xANnxMSWNarWBDH2DtwxcGobVSkTRwMpQ5k6SoVolyJfEPdDBuZuSlN-A2GPCeUUhwk/s640/blogger-image--91073324.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKjOvvcqOzG_CCkzMGYzJlGS7FGhpgtvvNHGW9QNnxt7pnEXFk_MjTw28HyLdyC5-BJ1Cp6UnTm2kyrcT1AtzLH8GxuXDgggoxopapCFLY8y9FZOVsOlKUaF6f9um8XIKgEZWJCeKQPRw/s640/blogger-image-605396927.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKjOvvcqOzG_CCkzMGYzJlGS7FGhpgtvvNHGW9QNnxt7pnEXFk_MjTw28HyLdyC5-BJ1Cp6UnTm2kyrcT1AtzLH8GxuXDgggoxopapCFLY8y9FZOVsOlKUaF6f9um8XIKgEZWJCeKQPRw/s640/blogger-image-605396927.jpg"></a></div><br><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">So for our update, it is simply this:<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">God has a plan. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We trust Him and we know that His timing is perfect.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Right now, three women will have our profile in their hands over the next week or so, and profiles of many other couples who desire to have children, and they are facing the hardest decision of their lives. That means that 3 children hang in the balance. No matter what they are loved, so much, already by people who don’t even know them and by some who never will. Those birthmothers are cherished, loved, beautifully and wonderfully made – they are also loved by many who will never meet them. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I’m working on some new art for fundraising and we are looking at grants for fundraising.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We ask for prayers. We know that these 3 may all say no to us. That they may be lead in other directions and that even though we understand that it will be God’s will when we are chosen, we cannot lie and say that it won’t hurt if/when we face rejection. We know we will question why? But please pray that the question lingers less than a second and that God’s peace swiftly replaces the feelings of unworthiness. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We thank you all for following our journey. We know that some ask and wonder how it all is going. We don’t always have an answer for you, but this time we wanted to share that God is working in the wings. We have hope for the future and we know He loves us and has great plans for us. We cannot wait to see all He has in store.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">“And so it was, that she, having waited long and endured patiently, realized and obtained what God had promised.” Hebrews <a dir="ltr" href="x-apple-data-detectors://2" x-apple-data-detectors="true" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors-result="2">6:15</a><o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBI71-qUC8cQQhm3FXXocUv1P8_yDKA_Dds-N7eLaXaSufyA93XLnp9vF7ddNURqQuoUoI63-v92L7fHR69khlROSascI2yMNw-ASggvrZrzkgEHtEjxJnCGnXTlN82g1KbXWNdnxKmDs/s640/blogger-image-974036245.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBI71-qUC8cQQhm3FXXocUv1P8_yDKA_Dds-N7eLaXaSufyA93XLnp9vF7ddNURqQuoUoI63-v92L7fHR69khlROSascI2yMNw-ASggvrZrzkgEHtEjxJnCGnXTlN82g1KbXWNdnxKmDs/s640/blogger-image-974036245.jpg"></a></div><br><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: 16.866666793823242px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p>Courtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-27918772966345164412015-08-20T17:06:00.001-05:002015-08-20T19:01:57.525-05:00The Mask Slipped off Today<span style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxenA_3i0lZDYMQynLKh9XDJ5T03qNj0mVY6rFVXx1ZbK-XHovJSbb-l6lrAwbJhB9ACyl9TNTZoIrL3zC9g3-zSwXqmVsjaBjNckYKodUExbwEte_1E0jlum5cgQa-9NqQc8JPv10RQc/s640/blogger-image--1957846507.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxenA_3i0lZDYMQynLKh9XDJ5T03qNj0mVY6rFVXx1ZbK-XHovJSbb-l6lrAwbJhB9ACyl9TNTZoIrL3zC9g3-zSwXqmVsjaBjNckYKodUExbwEte_1E0jlum5cgQa-9NqQc8JPv10RQc/s640/blogger-image--1957846507.jpg"></a></div><br></div>The Mask Slipped Off Today...</span><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">I won't lie. I've been crying for a few hours now. </div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">No big shifts or changes, no one is hurt or angry.</div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">I just felt so tired, drained and emotional.</div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">We had our yearly home visit today. Our sweet social worker "R" came by and we toured the house, the property; then we sat down and the interview begins again. It's déjà vu but not. It really is a repeat of one year ago today. We are sitting proclaiming our hearts desires, answering questions, discussing background checks, jobs, church, schools, ideas and hope.</div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">She chats animatedly about us and how we've been doing. We talk details of our profile books and the home study file. </div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">We talk Duchess and the excitement of her going to Montevallo for her senior year. We talk about how she is there, moving things in, while we sit here - missing her move but sending so much love her way we hope she feels our presence. </div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">We talk the dogs and how sweet they are.</div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">We nibble on macaroons, chocolates and sip lemonade. </div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">We walk to each room discussing purpose, layout and decor. Settling on the last - our guest room that will one day be a nursery. Scattered lightly are a few pieces of baby/child decor. In boxes, not hung or placed. Pieces of what's to come. </div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">A civilized, detailed interview of our life in the middle of the day. 4.5 hours. </div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">We wrap everything up and I collapse on the couch. Tears stream down my cheeks and dear M is swift to give me comfort. I hug him for dear life. I know that my hope, my faith reminds me that God's timing is precious, unique and so very wonderful - my head knows it, my spirit survives by it, my heart tries to embrace it, but my soul just really wants to cry. Cry because a year has passed. Cry because the repeat questions make me feel like a failure. Cry because my desire is so strong that to bear another year feels so big and scary. Cry because I love M so much and to give him the gift of a child is so beyond my capabilities that it bites at my soul more often than not. Cry because this tiny baby that might not even be a thought to someone yet will one day be my whole world. Cry because time rushing past me daily and the aches sometimes attempt to overcome the faith. Cry because we feel so close yet the precipice is so high. Cry because we know that the waiting is just a piece - that rejection could still come and my heart aches so much already, that fear of what rejection will be like tries to settle in the crease of each day. </div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">M loves on me, reminding me that God has something so special and I cry harder. A little ashamed of being anxious and questioning God to begin with mixed with my aching desire to be the mother of his children. But I feel it, that sweet little touch of peace from M's hug that is God's love combined with the best husband ever; so I slip into comfy clothes and we turn on Netflix. He lays beside me and the dogs corral around me, loving on me with quiet gentleness and I feel a semblance of relaxation. I say a small short prayer, crying again but now it's just a little. </div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">In this place I am home. Not because the walls deem it so, but because of the two dogs at my side and the man laying beside me. On the walls are photos of our journey, places we've been, things we've done - M says he looks to them when he is having a pity party/bad day & it reminds him he is blessed, that life has been a great adventure already & that there is so much more to come. I like that he sees it that way. Today I'm trying to share his sentiment, I'm looking at where we've been, thinking of where we are going, reminding myself that our stability is a gift, that we are doing what has been asked and striving to do more. Reminding myself that God's timing is not my own, that He knows better and that He has great plans for us, He is in the background silently working to give us the best child & life we could imagine...</div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZNi3sJoorVke9qv_g6GzXpWbxZNFDQ0-VVRvAHiM-iR1CEouacS6Q93KK3eAGUS3aaI472mzHmtXEFeGYzp5wRgO73xPj6zdrxJ1CjFXqk91uGTuzl4XO_ajPaxomNX00TcVQdijGbMY/s640/blogger-image--311889555.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZNi3sJoorVke9qv_g6GzXpWbxZNFDQ0-VVRvAHiM-iR1CEouacS6Q93KK3eAGUS3aaI472mzHmtXEFeGYzp5wRgO73xPj6zdrxJ1CjFXqk91uGTuzl4XO_ajPaxomNX00TcVQdijGbMY/s640/blogger-image--311889555.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">I still may cry some more. I know I will as time passes.</div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">The mask slipped today, right onto the floor; yet M was there, he dusted it off and set it aside. He loves me for all I am, he wants so badly to see me as a mom, to be a dad, to share all we have with our children, to learn from them, to love them and to give them love like we've been given. He is my lifeline through all this, my constant, my anchor in this crazy storm and I'm forever grateful that when he stands beside me I never even think to put the mask on - for him, I'm wide blue eyes, rose red cheeks, tear stained in leggings and a comfy tunic watching Murder She Wrote and binging on green tea and French macaroons...I cannot wait to see him as he does the same with our toddling child between us, laughing with baby giggles and sleep deprived hilarity. He will be the best dad there is - no mask, just love, faith & loyalty....</div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 15px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFlgHiLgokEVKXE9NJQp9a1YTicZze6UHeM3JhXDyGnCtKlZrtvQIUGwMXe9-nA9Dfbpsu4bAwYKmAIs364pVIeAtOxdYznP2syv3t0yGPXCb2YP_i-bCatPhxK3_jYOtH6veCt7BARSg/s640/blogger-image--455933135.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFlgHiLgokEVKXE9NJQp9a1YTicZze6UHeM3JhXDyGnCtKlZrtvQIUGwMXe9-nA9Dfbpsu4bAwYKmAIs364pVIeAtOxdYznP2syv3t0yGPXCb2YP_i-bCatPhxK3_jYOtH6veCt7BARSg/s640/blogger-image--455933135.jpg"></a></div><br></div>Courtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-75430217012301804182015-08-15T03:20:00.001-05:002015-08-15T03:20:31.986-05:00Happy Weekend! Kingdom Happenings Update...<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Happy Weekend Everyone! Just a little drop in to say hi and let y’all know what’s been going on at The Kingdom lately…</span></div><o:p></o:p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We are cruising through Summer and even though I will miss pool days and hot flashes, I am happy to embrace the crisp fall that we Alabamians <i>occasionally</i> get to experience. Football is around the corner and that means Saturdays with fun menus and great family & friends. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Our summer has been busy. It hasn’t been overwhelming, but it has been busy.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg58jtbvyjvUHGTtSOYlFERyD-JAp11L6_mWreln7IlikBLwHo9CkHd0akPUNqmr4G-3HPW9bc-AY5tvRFyA1OTIDNpJNUw1ybd4KXCdWkdsu5WNKiH8otqjYSjPdjv9kg_UYDmeTUOO4k/s640/blogger-image--301402888.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg58jtbvyjvUHGTtSOYlFERyD-JAp11L6_mWreln7IlikBLwHo9CkHd0akPUNqmr4G-3HPW9bc-AY5tvRFyA1OTIDNpJNUw1ybd4KXCdWkdsu5WNKiH8otqjYSjPdjv9kg_UYDmeTUOO4k/s640/blogger-image--301402888.jpg"></a></div><br></div><o:p></o:p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I spent last Saturday & Sunday helping my nephew paint his parking space for Senior Year. I loved that he asked me. I was quite honored. It was also, very nostalgic. A few of his classmates were up there as well. I listened to their banter, their flirting, their comfort with one another and I sighed contentedly in the truth that some things in life never change<i>. In my mind’s eye it was 17 years prior, only we were in the gym in April painting huge backdrops for our Junior prom – the guys had baseball games going on and the few of us girls in the gym were sweating like crazy, laughing out loud and sometimes dancing a little to the boombox playing beside the basketball court. We were young, covered in paint, at the school on a Saturday, but we were enjoying the moment</i>. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It was a moment in my life and I’m grateful that I was able to see it as something special before it ended completely. Those kids Saturday took me back to that place (literally and symbolically) and I wish them so much love, luck and hope for the days upcoming – may they enjoy this last year, because there is not another experience like it. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">After that it was back to The Castle and well back to normal this week. We have been gearing up for our (Annual) Home Visit next week. The house needs some cleaning and we need to walk through to make sure something hasn’t popped up but other than that we are truly looking forward to the visit with Social Worker “R”. She is really sweet and I know she is praying for us to find someone & their baby who will want to become our family. God has this. His timing. His plan. His joy.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The Duchess moves back to College as well. Cannot believe she will be graduating next year – December 2016. She only has 3 semesters left! She is so excited and nervous and happy and bittersweet. This next few semesters will definitely see new ways of growth with her. She is such a talented and amazing woman; we are blessed to be her family.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbX3N1gZmNrIDh8pQcXCB3odKnmGVD51Os8OctA1rsIYakhRmk2wGMPqn1Drz24B97-K_7V64XmcHqf0vog3Aps7vCoWZFk6jvB7rny2HfcAUBA4lvLBoNFG87JpK52u4JOwZjP6_xCB4/s640/blogger-image--975242296.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbX3N1gZmNrIDh8pQcXCB3odKnmGVD51Os8OctA1rsIYakhRmk2wGMPqn1Drz24B97-K_7V64XmcHqf0vog3Aps7vCoWZFk6jvB7rny2HfcAUBA4lvLBoNFG87JpK52u4JOwZjP6_xCB4/s640/blogger-image--975242296.jpg"></a></div><o:p></o:p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The pups are good. Precious, sweet and fun as usual. I cannot wait for them to have a baby in the house. It will be one heck of a transition, but what fun it will be. </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEhO1azreLn09fmssl9Zy0HUSZxZFW2SBnV4igVC7heitAOUWPChqYv5y4lVG-Tt-JpraKm_AmLtpNPd_xdgEvpVJHev7hOwmyyz-ZJLKXnyVPV42_9jSMd6hU6Cup5yo_rRtY3zpuJ4Q/s640/blogger-image--2060701251.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEhO1azreLn09fmssl9Zy0HUSZxZFW2SBnV4igVC7heitAOUWPChqYv5y4lVG-Tt-JpraKm_AmLtpNPd_xdgEvpVJHev7hOwmyyz-ZJLKXnyVPV42_9jSMd6hU6Cup5yo_rRtY3zpuJ4Q/s640/blogger-image--2060701251.jpg"></a></div><o:p></o:p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I will hopefully be getting my Etsy store up and going to raise for Baby Barr and also to be posting some fun new notecards & such that I have available. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. Pray for our birthmother – her health, her family support, her heart, her to know we love her; our future child(ren)-his/her health, our social worker, our finances, our strength, our abilities as parents, our health and for us to be open to God’s guidance…It’s a long list of prayer requests, I know, but He says to speak your heart’s desire and I’m listening to His commands.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">2 John 1:6<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p>Courtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-73606764998035113362015-07-23T16:05:00.001-05:002015-07-23T16:33:08.292-05:00Waiting. No really - waiting in truth.<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Our journey is still ongoing. I could do what I’ve done lately and just tell all of you that we are: Waiting. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It’s true. It’s simple. It’s a condensed version of what is going on behind the scenes. I’ve repeated it over and over again. Shrugging my shoulders, sighing, smiling, almost crying each and every single time I say it. But behind the curtain of those seven letters is a plethora of emotions, fears, anxieties, dreams, hopes, joys and silver linings. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Recently I’ve felt compelled to not blog. To not send updates. To not post that one year has passed by. We are actually about to have our “annual” home visit. This means that they will again come out to our house, inspect it and deem it worthy or not for our future children; a whole year, gone. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">In the simplest moments I dwell on that and sadness creeps in, sometimes I let it lay over me. I indulge in the sorrow. For a while I was ashamed of doing so, until one afternoon last week. I had just spoken to someone who was interested in hiring me to do some graphic work – simple designs for some personalized notecards. She was very excited to have a local artist creating these gifts for her friends. I was flattered at her excitement and honored to get to create for her. She told me how many she wanted and I quoted her a price. She asked how long I had been doing this and I simply answered: “I’ve drawn my whole life, but creating for others like this…one year.” She smiled and asked why only a year. Then the story unfolded. I told her of our adoption process, of the journey, of how I even came to have business cards and my items in boutiques around town, of how we are not at our goal but we are still working towards it, of how I hope to be able to do this after the adoption to help with childcare, of the people we’ve met, of the waiting…She touched my arm, smiling as I completed my story and nodding along. Softly she told me “He prepared you all those years you’ve drawn and He has blessed you with great patience. He will provide you a beautiful family.” I teared up and thanked her for her sweet words. We parted and I could not help but cry when I sat behind the wheel to head home. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">She was right. He has been preparing me for this for years. Not one year….years. Sometimes He lets me wallow a bit in the waiting, He lets me think about how it feels <i>like we’ve been on this journey too long</i> when really we are on it for the perfect length of time. He lets me wallow because He has faith in me that I will sit up straight in my driver’s seat; I will look to Him and be grateful for the days He has given me. The wallowing becomes a step, a moment needed to get me to the next one. From day one of my life to the moment we hold our child in our arms and as we get to love them forever – each day is perfect in its timing. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">So my update is different today. Today I will pull back the curtain and let you in. We have a completed Home Study – completed means that there is a document with our agency that has ALL our information typed up for legalities and approval for the state of Alabama as well as other licensed states. The completed Home Study also means we can apply for grants or be able to list our adoption on grant matching websites for tax deductible fundraising purposes. The agency also has a completed Profile. The profile (as I’ve said before) contains all the pictures, all the moments we want to share with the prospective birthmother – the pieces of ourselves we are giving her, hoping she falls in love with us. Since it is the annual anniversary of applying for a child, we will be updating fingerprints, Child Abuse & Neglect State forms, and the Home visit information. Each a cost, each worth every penny to show the government that we are serious, we are good people and that we desire this child. They have the first payments towards our contract; we still have fundraising to do so don’t be surprised if Art for Adoption, Baby Barr Fundraising pops up on Social Media again – we stepped back a little so that we would not be inundating everyone with our journey. We didn’t want to appear to beg or to be asking too much of those we love – all of you – but we do want you to pray, to support us in your hearts, to give when you can but to love us most of all. Your love will transcend distance and time…this baby has no idea how blessed he/she already is. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We have a room that will be the nursery. Nothing has been done to it yet. They tell you not to decorate completely, or to buy tons of things, again the word <i>waiting</i> takes its place among the process. You may be waiting longer than your heart can handle that empty room. But I’m an artist, a visual being so there are sketches of layouts, of murals, of ideas, of colors, of décor; there are pages bookmarked online, websites scoured, Pinterest pages developed and saved photos on multiple techie equipment. I dream daily of the space we will create for this little one. And for the first time I did buy something for the nursery: two pieces of art from a local artist in Fernandina Beach Florida while on a work trip. I cannot wait to do my own pieces to complement hers and to add to the collection I know we will acquire for our little one. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">So that is where we are. Truly. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We are waiting, but not with the chagrin that most expect, we are waiting with open hearts and eyes ready to see the gifts before us. God has blessed us in ways we never thought possible and He continues to do so. We are honored to be on this journey. To be waiting. So now when I say it, I will think of the years He has had me waiting, had me preparing, had me enjoying the view, had me imagining the possibilities and in the moments where I want to be sad, I will work to smile, to appreciate and to enjoy the time He is giving us. He knows that everything will be different soon and that we will need these days to reflect and learn to appreciate a new kind of timing….<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Habakkuk 2:3<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Jesus answered him, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.”<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">John <a href="x-apple-data-detectors://0" x-apple-data-detectors="true" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors-result="0">13:17</a><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p>Courtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-53747382937519356332015-07-16T10:34:00.001-05:002015-07-16T10:34:45.396-05:00Heartbreak Dreamers...Never Stop Seeking the Light<p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">For all the heartbreak dreamers waiting for the light,<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Looking for just one reason to get through the night,<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Every long lost believer caught in the fight,<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">All the heartbreak dreamers gonna be alright,<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Everybody sing…<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">La La….<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>-</i>Mat Kearney,<i> “Heartbreak Dreamer”<o:p></o:p></i></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">When music speaks I don’t just listen I devour it, I let it roll off my shoulders, down my back and explode from my toes. It might coerce me into dancing, a simple sway or full on – foot – tapping – body-swishing-arms-above-my-head movement; but neither movement greater than the other; merely appropriate for the emotion it elicits. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">My heartbeat adjusts to the rhythms, following the tempo with precision and care. For me, music is a friend, an enemy, a method of worship, a sound to soothe and a sound to ignite. In another life, another history, perhaps I would have been able to create the sounds I enjoy but for now I relish the words. When a new song comes on, I let the music guide me to the singer’s message; his/her broadcast for a world so desperately seeking solace and truth. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">There are those who convey opinions, convey political satire and memes meant to discourage or to inspire. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">There are those who sing of the loves unrequited, the loves fleeting, the loves everlasting til the end of days. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">There are those who sing silly perspectives of a world where laughter is sought but some days rarely recognized – these minstrels seek to make us smile amidst the chaos, to see the fun in the frilly and to champion the idiosyncrasies of a life filled with mysteries.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">There are those who speak the Word to melodies so powerful that their drums bring us to our knees as their soft calls of promise remind us of a strength supernatural in nature but only a breath away if/when we need it. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">There are those who silence their words of human sound but speak with instruments. They cry out with their passions and fill us with their beauty; classic and enchanting with every tapping key or string pulled taut.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">In music I have always found pieces of myself. Stories that turn my mind into an imaginative playground: love, sorrow, joy, hate, compassion, desire fuel my story telling soul. I love the words that the music pulls from me. The scenes that dance along my sleep and fill my eyes when I look out the window; I have always been a dreamer; the kind that sees hope in everything and truly hates to feel despair, to let it creep into my bones and try to break my spirit is my biggest nightmare. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">In the song I referenced above Mat talks of the Heartbreak Dreamers, those that have been told or have experienced the despair I’m speaking of. I’ve been that heartbreak dreamer before – believing that I am alone, that no one can see what I see, that in this life I will never amount to more than someone’s secretarial support system – in the daytime, the nighttime and all in between that I will never be more than a name that never sought her potential, that never believed in her purpose, that allowed the opinions of others to become her opinions of herself, and that failed miserably at discovering the light that will get me through the night. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Those days of despair try to come in more often than not. There is darkness in this world that tries to make us believe that we are all just ships in the night, passersby with no direction, no help and no intent to communicate. But the darkness lies. Daily it lies to us. We sometimes decide to buy the lie, convincing ourselves the lie is easier – more palatable – than believing in the light that resides in all of us – the dreamer factor is easier to dismiss. Yet we cannot dismiss it, we must fight to seek it, embrace it and most importantly place our belief & trust in the light. The heartbreak is sometimes necessary to force us to call that dreamer out, to pull him/her from the depths and put pen to paper – put paint to paintbrush – put rhythms to words and life to the instruments in our hands. Don’t give up. We are not defined by our circumstances. In all of us we have choices to make. Choose the music that lifts you, that brings you to levels of potential that you never thought was possible. Choose music with a message – a life giving message. Listen to others as they sing their struggles and realize that they sing to you so that you know you are not alone & that the light is there, just reach for it, turn to it, believe in it and put everything you have towards it. The light will grow, it will shine beyond you and outward to this dark world, piercing another Heartbreak Dreamer and lifting them with your power. Mat is right when he says: <i>all the heartbreak dreamers gonna be alright.</i> Yes we will. We are. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Let your light shine before others,<span class="apple-converted-space"> that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.</span> Matthew <a href="x-apple-data-detectors://0" x-apple-data-detectors="true" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors-result="0">5:16</a><o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><o:p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p>Courtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-66817817497911614512015-07-08T14:31:00.001-05:002015-07-08T16:34:36.856-05:00Fireflies, Illusions of Control, Heart Doctors & Adoption....<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXaWOXioHwjUVWb3YgOSUZUqsZ84GnHLG_noE8GcUs3ADDw-gvqwtpmvjjmcafyDqruvK7L2RZ0bN72DqC7dPLTMzp8tbNEf4Toz3psk5y9UWI9rC1K2QOyvtbXFA4oLDQykbjWTpvwis/s640/blogger-image--2013236095.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXaWOXioHwjUVWb3YgOSUZUqsZ84GnHLG_noE8GcUs3ADDw-gvqwtpmvjjmcafyDqruvK7L2RZ0bN72DqC7dPLTMzp8tbNEf4Toz3psk5y9UWI9rC1K2QOyvtbXFA4oLDQykbjWTpvwis/s640/blogger-image--2013236095.jpg"></a></div><br><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Summer is in full swing in Alabama, Independence Day has come and gone and with it the realization that fall is around the corner. This year is already 7 months in. Time, by far, is the most elusive element & I’m not clinging to the days or asking them to slow down, but I am working to enjoy them more. The Fourth was full of Fireflies & Fireworks, bare feet and pool fun. It was a wonderful time with the family celebrating our independence & a birthday or two...I'm so grateful to have the family I have, their support means more than I ever imagined. Every time I see them I'm reminded of various things: our differences, our loves, our sense of togetherness and our deep connection that no matter the argument or difference of opinion we still choose to come together & enjoy each other. We are each just a phone call away and that is something we learn to treasure as this time quickly passes...<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3GTYJXaCxdjydSx0l21u9yDDj8o8I358DyajxfVB20lnSTdsVWT3oHtJPUmJfyfX6x9EKN2oMLoQsCBk5DpSaZS1KNgWwcWlOLSDz4A_T4LZFh7bNJ1wAerL5fQeKVBDT0g3pQo1hkO4/s640/blogger-image-287099785.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3GTYJXaCxdjydSx0l21u9yDDj8o8I358DyajxfVB20lnSTdsVWT3oHtJPUmJfyfX6x9EKN2oMLoQsCBk5DpSaZS1KNgWwcWlOLSDz4A_T4LZFh7bNJ1wAerL5fQeKVBDT0g3pQo1hkO4/s640/blogger-image-287099785.jpg"></a></div><br><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGDEnn2KYje9-1HJv0wo7MGMPzGJMFkcfHJtInYF9EUIGaC6StbTGQK4cvCjN0WcjpuGr_mICCSp_5sBQ60a-k-pIKVutPdQFCJQOffddcWUcCpkt59OXG6d2OsGmTccoHCRPD-ICqin8/s640/blogger-image--1442907691.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGDEnn2KYje9-1HJv0wo7MGMPzGJMFkcfHJtInYF9EUIGaC6StbTGQK4cvCjN0WcjpuGr_mICCSp_5sBQ60a-k-pIKVutPdQFCJQOffddcWUcCpkt59OXG6d2OsGmTccoHCRPD-ICqin8/s640/blogger-image--1442907691.jpg"></a></div><br><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">This summer has already been full of twist, turns, diagonals and straight lines; all those fabulous directionals that take us headlong into understanding that human control is sincerely an optical illusion.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB0DPuDJcDVbUAEEhc4r4AGEsMpKUIZzEdkMAXWQylWNoRvpnmPenJocF4_QfzxEZGdML80aoVihmuYtEhPf2UaygBOUUs7usBuhXYVG4cxqzUZqcv95pjgu4ELAb2Ye0bD6v8Hs21o_g/s640/blogger-image-982302782.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB0DPuDJcDVbUAEEhc4r4AGEsMpKUIZzEdkMAXWQylWNoRvpnmPenJocF4_QfzxEZGdML80aoVihmuYtEhPf2UaygBOUUs7usBuhXYVG4cxqzUZqcv95pjgu4ELAb2Ye0bD6v8Hs21o_g/s640/blogger-image-982302782.jpg"></a></div><br><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Recently I had a strange and startling encounter with stress. Yep, stress. Who stresses? I’m sure <b>NONE</b> of us has stress…I mean come on, everyone is polite on the highway, no one ever gets aggravated with electronics and every single day my hair does exactly what I want it to…yeah…that’s not true. <b>BUT I did have an encounter. </b>One scary enough that for about 48 hours of intense testing/doctor/ER visits I discovered that breakdowns, heart attacks, strokes, blood clots and migraines can sometimes be just a speeding-through-downtown-red-light-running-gotta-get-there-fast nano second away. So yep, I have another doc that will be seeing me and helping me learn how to deal with stress. I always thought I dealt pretty well, I mean in our household I am the least “appearing” stressed and I rarely “lose it”. Guess what? Sometimes we think we process stress when in reality we hold it in. If you are like me, you don’t always even realize that something is stressing you out. So yeah, I’m over here trying not only to process stress better but also recognize it when it happens. I was jokingly told this is to keep me from going ‘<b>postal’</b> or from just becoming a truly <b>“hot mess”.</b> Either way, I want to be able to seek joy in all things and stress keeps me from doing so. I was under the impression that I could control it all and still be just fantastic….forgive me while I step away to <b>laugh</b> so hard <b>my sides hurt</b>….<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">On the topic of stress, here is our <b>adoption update</b>: we were asked to turn in a couple more documents this week that will help in making everything match up in case we are selected by someone from another state. It was a lot of letters written by highly influential people who state our well-being is under their observation or under their care…so when I do stress I can blame them right? Eh, it was worth a try. Seriously, we got everything turned in and are now… WAITING. Join us, won’t you? Sing the song of our people <i>“We are waiting, we are waiting, we are waiiiiiiiting for some news! It seems forever and forever, forever we wait here. We are qui-et-ly waiting for some news. Please tell us, please tell us, please telllll us what you know. We are waiting, we are waiting, paaaa-tiently we know.” </i>(kind of to the tune to “Oh My Darl’n Clementine – Side note: anyone ever read the entire lyrics to that song? Morbid…yikes) Well you get the idea. I should add a long verse on the praying too…”<i>we are prayyyy-ing every day</i>!” There is truth in these words. Prayer would be an important verse. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We do please ask that you keep us in your prayers, our birthmother and our future child(ren). We all need your support and are already so grateful for everyone sending us such love. Right now we hope that someone will love our profile book. What is a profile book, you ask? Well it is a book that answers a ton of questions for these women who are selecting which family to give the ultimate gift. It has photos, stories about our past, plans we have for the future, uplifting areas to make sure she knows how much we already love her, pictures of our furbabies and of course stories about all of you! Yep, you are in there, our village, our family, our friends all get a part of this book. It’s a very pretty, colorful, thick, bound book that she will flip through; hopefully she loves us and seeks to share a life. If not it’s okay too, really it is - if we can just send her any love, any support, any example of God’s grace then we have done something good. Again, this is out of our hands now...we have no control and we accept that He will know best.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">So the theme of today....control. We all believe that on our own we can take charge, we can make all the choices, and we can face everything on our own merit. We may not think it <b><i>all</i></b> the time, but for sure we think it more than we should. We get complacent, we feel like everything is working out great, that we are the ones who got us where we are and for those of us that do this I’m wagging my finger at you and most assuredly at me! I do it. Everything gets going well and I fail to be grateful, I fail to stop and just give thanks or stop and just enjoy the blessings for a moment. He wants us to draw near always – the good, the bad, the in between – to seek His guidance and to acknowledge Him in <b>ALL things.</b> I stopped and spoke to Him when everything went a little haywire a couple weeks back. I went in for an ear infection – came out with Pleurisy and a little heart issue…it was sombering to just tell Him I love Him, to thank Him that there was no embolism, to thank Him for the doctors who quickly saw to my care and to be grateful that breathing wasn’t a chore. Yes, it scared me. Yes, it took my breath away (literally). But it found something we didn’t know was there, it has since forced me to process life differently and in those moments of fear, where control is most fleeting, I leaned…I leaned on His word and I remembered that I don’t have to understand, I just have to trust, to believe and to love. Peace is something that often comes at the strangest moments and mine came after a Contrast CT, as they removed the IV from my arm I felt it…He was there, I wasn’t alone and no matter what everything will be as it should…patience, I heard…timing is important, I remembered…promises are true, I accepted…He knows me…I am Fearfully and Wonderfully made…in my relationship with Christ I can release control and know that the outcome will be way better than what I ever could imagine…<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="sc">Lord</span><span class="apple-converted-space"> that will stand.</span> Proverbs <a href="x-apple-data-detectors://0" x-apple-data-detectors="true" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors-result="0">19:21</a><o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew <a href="x-apple-data-detectors://1" x-apple-data-detectors="true" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors-result="1">6:34</a><o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”Matthew <a href="x-apple-data-detectors://2" x-apple-data-detectors="true" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors-result="2">19:26</a><o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><o:p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv-IoGm8jGsZErsQppgD3QA7mmlqrgDeTy74zoJSdz-FM7bfS-RpjenbswVn0yNrjG7a4ENyjhGnUWRQtwIT3f_bVfCh2Uo56le0yDfx-yip898Ut7ycVGknR2vUR6vFibq29QUUVIdDw/s640/blogger-image-1387524453.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv-IoGm8jGsZErsQppgD3QA7mmlqrgDeTy74zoJSdz-FM7bfS-RpjenbswVn0yNrjG7a4ENyjhGnUWRQtwIT3f_bVfCh2Uo56le0yDfx-yip898Ut7ycVGknR2vUR6vFibq29QUUVIdDw/s640/blogger-image-1387524453.jpg"></a></div><p></p>Courtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-64341398251174611662015-06-17T15:39:00.001-05:002015-06-17T15:41:01.137-05:00Update - Adopting in Alabama<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Adoption UPDATE:<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We are waiting.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We have sent the necessary documentation to our social worker – it is truly out of our hands for awhile.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We are waiting.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We know that God already knows our birthmother, that she is loved and that we pray for her daily.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We are waiting.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It has now been one year since we began this process.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We know that it can take much longer than it already has.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We are waiting.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We understand that most people think it can just be a snap your fingers, select a child and move forward process – it rarely is.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We are waiting.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We continue to pray daily for guidance, for strength and to trust His timing.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We are waiting. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We continue to fundraise, save and plan for this child and our family.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We are waiting.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We trust that God’s timing is perfect; this journey is one of His greatest blessings and lessons about who we are.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We are waiting.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We are grateful to every single day that we get to wake up, believing in God’s promises.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We are waiting.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It is a blessing that we have all of you praying, thinking, giving and loving for this child.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We will wait, we will see, we will rejoice.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">-Habakkuk 2:3<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Trust in the<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="sc">Lord</span>, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="sc">Lord</span>, and he will give you the desires of your heart.<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Psalm 37:3-4<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p>Courtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-87231623537948681502015-03-16T16:01:00.001-05:002015-03-16T18:53:48.241-05:00Our Desires & Goals are Shaping Up<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It’s never easy reaching for something that you desire so desperately, especially when you are just beginning to understand that desire…<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">No process, no journey is without bumps. Some bumps appear to set you back, to take you further from your goal but I’m learning that there is no ‘further from our goal’. God is not arbitrarily extending the time it takes for us to grow our family. He has perfect timing. He knows our needs and He is already worked them out. We have held two fundraisers, attended a festival as a vendor, had an art gallery showing and have been saving, building and creating towards the child He has picked out for us – all just under 11 months.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Every bit of baby “B” raising/saving goes into the costs of the process. I had someone recently ask where are the monies going, how much have we raised, how does it get separated out, aren't we further along in the process, how it works…at first I was taken aback, not understanding their tone – "Where do you think it goes?" Was the answer I started to reply, but then I remembered…almost one year ago, I had similar questions. We did not know a lot about this process when it all started. We just knew we wanted a baby, a child, a person to add to our hearts – because somehow, some way, God makes us capable of loving in great amounts – He takes what seems to be a little part of us and shows us what a true infinity means, we can love with great intent. So I took a breath, and I answered the question, truthfully, technically and spiritually. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">All of our fundraising monies goes to the fund that will, and already has some amounts paid to our agency (our home study fees, medical fees, profile fees and application fees to start with). The total contract is around $36,000.00 when everything is said and done. There is a variable – court costs can vary, travel costs can vary, possible medical fees for the child/birthmother can vary – but all in all that is our <i>fiscal</i> goal. This goal is important. In this world, money is needed to exchange hands, no matter how you enter this process (government or private) there will be a number you will have to raise/save. We understand that and put emphasis on its importance, yet I’m seeing that the numbers are there to draw us in, to focus us, He uses this so that we have a tangible. He knows that as humans, we look for the tangible, but He desires for us to see the other goal…<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Our <i>real</i> goal, the one that will change our lives, change his/her life, maybe even change yours, is something that has no numeric – it is a heart, infinite in its power and beautiful in all aspects. We hope to have a heart like our savior. It is our end goal, this process; this adoption is because He called us to be here today. He laid out the groundwork, He saw the path and He placed the desire in our hearts. We never knew how desperately this desire would feel, but I felt it when I was asked the tangible question – I was defensive, but not of the context of the question – more of my emotions. Then, as I said, I remembered being uneducated in the ways of the process, being curious and skeptical of the way it is all done…then…I answered. It was truthful, full of numbers, dates, and the fact that it all goes towards the contract with the agency – none of it comes back to us, none of it will be sitting there waiting for baby girl/boy when they come home – but we are okay with that. They tell you to get your friends/family involved – this is, for us especially, our “pregnancy period”. I love that my children will have a village who not only asked the odd question, asked about artwork, asked about buying raffle tickets, buying cooking utensils or just asked for any form of an update purely because they are excited to meet our child, that they are anxious to meet our child – what a beautiful ‘family’ he/she already has & no one has even been introduced yet. We are so grateful for every monetary donation but even more so we are beyond the limits of gratefulness for the support, love and prayers of each & every one of you. That is the intangible and it fills my soul knowing that my answer might have helped someone see the process as daunting but possible – meaning they may one day start their own or share the information with someone too scared to ask…what a gift He has shown me that this process can provide. I am grateful for every day that this desire grows...<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Be truly glad, there is wonderful Joy ahead… 1 Peter 1:6<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">And so it was…that she, having waited long & endured patiently realized and obtained what God had promised. Hebrews <a href="x-apple-data-detectors://1" x-apple-data-detectors="true" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors-result="1">6:15</a><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p>Courtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4435062275537032044.post-66952518567468764002015-01-26T10:27:00.001-06:002015-01-26T10:27:31.927-06:00Trust in Him & Keep moving forward....<p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">“Trust God from the bottom of your heart, don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go, He’s the one who will keep you on track.”<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Proverbs 3:5,6 (The Message)<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It’s been a few weeks. The world has turned a couple times. Newsfeeds have been full of resolutions, changes, stagnancies, deaths, births and all the events that define the lives we are living. Each day I peruse the various social media outlets that I enjoy. Instagram is my favorite – the pictures, quotes, ideas; behind it is Pinterest – there is nothing like seeing so many neat ideas, cool places to visit and recipes to indulge in; then there is Facebook – photos, articles, pictures, videos ; each one gives me various levels of happy. There are things that I have to scroll past, the articles about children being murdered, abused; animals mistreated and left to die; negative comments that pull me into a cycle of sadness and anything that causes me to be judgmental or harsh. I work hard to keep those things at bay.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I’ve learned and accepted that I am truly an introvert. That being said – if I have struggled with small talk with any of you, please know I do apologize and that it is also something I work on daily. I’m beginning to embrace the emotional parts of being an introvert, the deep connections that I attach to ideas, stories, people, pets and moments. It can be exhausting how emotional I get over things, but I love that stoic is not in my demeanor. Granted the fact that stoic usually associates with no complaining (I do complain – again it falls on the beautiful long list of work in progress personality traits) would be good – but enduring each hardship and pain without showing my feelings is definitely not my way.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">All of this is to preface my current state of mind. I’m overwhelmed by the emotional difficulty I’ve had with our profile that we must create for our birthmother. Yes we answered 2000 questions and have written autobiographies. Yes we are doing physicals, bloodwork, house adjustments and mental shifts throughout this process. Yes we are fundraising, praying for financial supernatural blessings from God and doing all we can to financially provide for this process. All of that was and is draining, emotional and self-explorative – but this, this 30 page profile is the largest boulder I’ve encountered. I hit the wall with it a few weeks back. I was easily placing photos of Stable Boy M, Duchess K and myself. Great photos, candid shots, funny shots, silly shots…I was writing blurbs about our life, our interests, some repeated from the autobiographies, some not then it happened. I printed a copy. I held it in my hands and burst into tears. These pages, these pictures are our “Sell Packet” our “Romance Copy” the information <i>she</i>will hold in her hands. <i>She </i> will look at this and see us – this family that is desperately wanting to be a part of <i>her</i> family, to raise the child <i>she </i> is already so terrified to be carrying. I cannot imagine how she feels, I cannot even begin to think about how I would be, how I would see these families laid before me. I wept for her. I still do when I think about this in detail. I know that God will guide us both: me to complete this and her to love us. I trust in Him with every part of our adoption. I rely on Him with every nuance, every emotional high and low – He is my comforter. I repeat these things often and here I am typing them, because writing is part of His process He gave me to share my life and my emotions. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I’m writing this to ask you to pray for me as I complete this packet for <i>her</i>. Pray that Stable Boy M and I find the words, find the way to portray who we are, to maybe give her the tiniest smidge of comfort during this time and that she somehow, some way, feels that we love <i>her</i> and that our request to be a family is genuine and full of all the best we have. Thank you all for keeping up with our journey, for loving us so much and for reminding me daily of the support system we have – I pray that somehow your support of us is extended to support <i>her</i> in this time. We will keep moving forward and excitedly work towards the family He is providing...<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">“But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.”<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: start; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Isaiah 40:31<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p>Courtney Barr - The Southern Princesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14455508477182984039noreply@blogger.com0