Celebrating Faith

I saw the Lord always in my presence; for He is at my right hand, so that I will not be shaken – Acts 2:25

 

There is something about good news. It isn't just the obvious - the good part, it's beyond that. It's the acceptance and the celebration and the reality of the news...the truth of it.

 

We received a text from a sweet set of friends who know our adoption journey well. They know it not because we've told them but because their journey has been so similar. I was on the rocker watching a favorite Friends episode when the text came across. 

 

A picture of a beautiful baby girl and a message following introducing us to the newest member of their family. Their secret was out. 

 

The tears came first. I wept. I smiled and laughed out loud. I then responded sharing in their joy & utter adoration of their new daughter.

 

My mind flickered, trembling a bit for a moment as it recalled the day’s message at church. Our pastor spoke on faith. On continued faith. The faith we all speak of but sometimes let slip. I've let it slip. I've let the waiting, the time and the expectations of my own heart cause it to slip. God hasn't caused it. I have. He's been doing what He does and He's been doing it perfectly. I'm the anxious one, the one giving a time table, end date and expectant result. Our pastor spoke about those time tables, the ones we create and how the humor in the Word reminds us that His time is not like our time & most importantly He isn't going to change that because we get frustrated or petulant or demanding...no, He is the all knowing One. The One who sees ALL the pieces from our beginning and our end and He loves the first piece & He loves the last piece, but I believe He cherishes the pieces in between. He is going to enjoy the closeness that is created as we go to him during the in between.

 

Have you ever looked up the definition of cherish? It's actually perfect for His perspective and a word I personally select in these moments to center myself in His love. 

 

To cherish is to: protect and care for (someone) lovingly; keep a hope or ambition in one's mind

 

synonyms:

Adore, love, dote on, be devoted to, nurture, foster, cling to, possess.

 

In that definition there is no denying the importance of the journey & the presence of God himself. The word itself evokes how He loves us. I can't stop singing His praises because I'm tired of the waiting, it's in the exhaustion I must whisper His name, when the tears roll I must not let walls build I must let them fall away. 

 

It may not always make sense to me, but it doesn't have to- that therein lies sometimes the hardest part to swallow. But we must take our hope and lay it on Him. For He is with us always. He is the best of our good news, He is the answer to every question. 

 

Those sweet friends of mine are celebrating, praising Him today...but it isn't the first time they have, no the good news they shared was good – amazing, beautiful, wonderful even; but the BEST part of their journey is how their identity in Christ evolved when the days were long and the pain ran deep. I cannot imagine how they are feeling - I dream about how we will feel when our day comes and I trust in Him that the date is there, written down and will come when He has deemed it to. 

The good news in this story is beyond overwhelmingly good, it is a heart’s desire, an answered prayer and a million Christmas mornings all in one. So the good news runs deep, it is flooding their every moment and in it, we see beyond just the simple word good and we see best. We see chosen, adored, devoted, nurturing…every bit of what it is to cherish the sweet beautiful little girl they now hold.

 

The journey isn't ending for them, not at all - this parenting journey will be full of more sleepless, prayer filled nights but it will be all the better because the first leg of their journey was prayer filled, hope filled and faith filled & this time they are holding to the truth they have received in His promises. He still remains, the doting Father, the adoring parent and the loving promise that everything of Him is good, even when we can’t see it yet, even when the nights are long and the tears fall for hurt not joy, for when the day comes that everything is clear we will embrace Him and see that faith has not only been exactly what we needed along the way, but it is the steadfast answer to our prayer before the words even leave our lips…

 

Dear Village, please continue to pray for our journey of adoption, growth and faith, but this week we also ask that you visit our friend’s post and read about Faith, and their adoption journey – pray for them, for the birthmother and for this precious child.

 

http://mrswchilders.blogspot.com

 

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him. – Hebrews 11:6

 

Update: He is evident in all things

Hey guys. 

We haven’t disappeared.

We haven’t faltered on our journey.

We have been waiting – continually.

We have been moving forward.

Our God is amazing. 

We have known that truth – constantly reminding ourselves of it, yet each encounter still sweeps me up in His glory. As the months have been passing, the hours fleeting, we’ve been waiting. We continue to wait. Yet with every post I share with each of you, with every update or non-update that I give I feel Him closer. He has this.

As far as the children we are praying for, He still has them, out there, in the world around us or in Heaven preparing to meet us. We don’t know their names yet, their eye color, their laugh or their favorite treat. We know that they are precious; we know that they are chosen, loved and cherished. He has so much going on around us right now. Windows and doors have been flung open to us and we are stepping, taking His hand and moving along a winding but beautiful road.

I have so much to share, so much to be excited about. He is laying foundations; showing us new things that in the future, with those children, our lives will be able to continue to flourish, to grow and to provide.

He has begun something in our life, He has opened a window, thrown back the shutters and leaned out...arms outstretched showing me the landscape and whisking me off my feet with the possibilities that can only happen with His blessing & guidance. We are grateful, leaning in, listening and stepping out…

I lay all that is broken within me at His feet and I look to the heavens as I look to home, knowing that my God has all of this. He has seen our children, my company, our journey, our dreams…He knows them, He crafted their goodness and He is here for the bumps along the way. We have a saying in our house “He saw us first.” We believe that. In fact we stake our lives on it. So today I update you: no further movement in the adoption that we can see. Yet our hope grows stronger, our faith deeper and our desires more encompassing. He is evident in all things in our lives even when we fail to stop and seek Him out – He never fails to have us first & always.

I hold tight to these truths:

And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.” Isaiah 30:21

Psalm 139:16 You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

Psalm 139:7-12

Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend to heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, Even there Your hand will lead me, And Your right hand will lay hold of me. If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, And the light around me will be night," Even the darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day Darkness and light are alike to You.

Happy Weekend! Kingdom Happenings Update...

Happy Weekend Everyone! Just a little drop in to say hi and let y’all know what’s been going on at The Kingdom lately…

We are cruising through Summer and even though I will miss pool days and hot flashes, I am happy to embrace the crisp fall that we Alabamians occasionally get to experience. Football is around the corner and that means Saturdays with fun menus and great family & friends. 

Our summer has been busy. It hasn’t been overwhelming, but it has been busy.

I spent last Saturday & Sunday helping my nephew paint his parking space for Senior Year. I loved that he asked me. I was quite honored. It was also, very nostalgic. A few of his classmates were up there as well. I listened to their banter, their flirting, their comfort with one another and I sighed contentedly in the truth that some things in life never change. In my mind’s eye it was 17 years prior, only we were in the gym in April painting huge backdrops for our Junior prom – the guys had baseball games going on and the few of us girls in the gym were sweating like crazy, laughing out loud and sometimes dancing a little to the boombox playing beside the basketball court. We were young, covered in paint, at the school on a Saturday, but we were enjoying the moment. 

It was a moment in my life and I’m grateful that I was able to see it as something special before it ended completely.  Those kids Saturday took me back to that place (literally and symbolically) and I wish them so much love, luck and hope for the days upcoming – may they enjoy this last year, because there is not another experience like it. 

After that it was back to The Castle and well back to normal this week. We have been gearing up for our (Annual) Home Visit next week. The house needs some cleaning and we need to walk through to make sure something hasn’t popped up but other than that we are truly looking forward to the visit with Social  Worker “R”. She is really sweet and I know she is praying for us to find someone & their baby who will want to become our family. God has this. His timing. His plan. His joy.

The Duchess moves back to College as well. Cannot believe she will be graduating next year – December 2016. She only has 3 semesters left! She is so excited and nervous and happy and bittersweet. This next few semesters will definitely see new ways of growth with her. She is such a talented and amazing woman; we are blessed to be her family.

The pups are good. Precious, sweet and fun as usual. I cannot wait for them to have a baby in the house. It will be one heck of a transition, but what fun it will be. 

I will hopefully be getting my Etsy store up and going to raise for Baby Barr and also to be posting some fun new notecards & such that I have available. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. Pray for our birthmother – her health, her family support, her heart, her to know we love her; our future child(ren)-his/her health, our social worker, our finances, our strength, our abilities as parents, our health and for us to be open to God’s guidance…It’s a long list of prayer requests, I know, but He says to speak your heart’s desire and I’m listening to  His commands.

2 John 1:6

And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.

 

I Lean Not on My Own understanding...

“I lean not on my understanding…

my life is in the hands of the maker of heaven….”

Proverbs 3:5 

Lyric: Will Reagan & the United Pursuit “Nothing I Hold Onto”

This is a lyric…a bible verse…and my current mantra.

We have accepted that our timing is useless. We are open vessels asking to be filled with the light and love of our savior. He asks us very little, but that we give Him our worries, our burdens, our desires and most importantly our heart.

These past few weeks have been supernaturally touched. 

We cannot explain it nor will we truly try. We only hope that we continue to do what is asked with open eyes and hearts, relying on the knowledge that He will never let us fall completely to the ground, nor will He abandon us, He is always right there – waiting for us to seek Him.

I never expected to find such solace in the crazy moments of life. He never gives us more than we can handle. We often overcomplicate situations and search for the drama because we feel that is what we are supposed to do. His graciousness has been overwhelming of late. In the best way possible, I have cried, and cried and cried and cried. He has brought me to my knees and you all were there…our village is more than I imagined when we started this journey. It was a phrase I clung to because I knew that there would be days where I needed to escape in the knowledge that there were others out there, praying for us, thinking of us and acknowledging our new path – it was a sort of safety net at first. Now it is evolving, you are all actual members of our village. I see it through “likes” on facebook, through emails of encouragement, through networking of my art, through happy thoughts shared on Instagram, through our small group, through the doors that are swinging open for us to move in so many directions and by the way my heart is soaring with every morning.

I would shout to rooftops if we were in a large city – standing atop a skyscraper, arms open wide, praising His goodness. I’ve always had faith, I’ve always known He is my rock, but now He is even more…more than light, more than life, more than happiness, more than joy, more than sorrow, more than understanding – He is good. I now tell my story, my earthly story, with pride. No longer do I think about the scars on my body as ugly or a reminder of how I lack some integral part of being the girl I once was – yes I am different, but I am a masterpiece. I am not perfect to the standards that surround me daily, but for Him I am perfect, unique and so precious.  I was called out this week by a friend “How do you trust Jesus after all that you’ve been through?” In hindsight I was so surprised that I wasn’t caught off guard – I knew my answer “Because, He knows better than I do.” It rolled off so quickly and with a sense of freedom that I never knew I could feel. He loves me. He knew that we would be here, searching, seeking, discovering and relishing His gifts. He knew better.

We met with Social Worker “R” for the last interview that meets State & Federal requirements. We now have only to get our physicals and submit our dogs’ rabies history to be truly complete with the first HUGE step in all this: the Home Study. It is something that blows my mind. We are now in the step of creating our Profile. A book/summary/glimpse into who we are as a family wanting to grow. In it we will place photos, tell about ourselves and basically “sell” how awesome we are. For my dear sweet “M”, this is simple – he is ALWAYS awesome. For me, it is stumbling, I want to be as truthful as possible, that they see us for exactly who we are & in that, you catch yourself overthinking a great deal of the time. God will give me the words and they will be what we need to say – this I know. 

Learning to lean on understanding while not always understanding isn’t as simple as it probably should be. I let the world in and it confuses so much – I must guard my heart. The road ahead is crazy cool and fun and terrifying and so much more than I ever thought possible. We don’t even have this child yet and he/she is already teaching us so much. We pray for the birthmother daily, whispering to an unknown woman/girl who needs to know that she is loved, that she is a gift and that she is so much stronger than she thinks. When you think of us and you pray for us, pray for her & our child as well…they need the love that lifts and moves mountains. Please do this, my sweet and wonderful village. You lift my heart daily…please do hers as well.

Don’t be anxious about anything, but pray in everything with thanksgiving. Then the incomprehensible peace of God will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

For current Art for Adoption items please go to our Adopting in Alabama Facebook page; for custom orders please don't hesitate to contact me directly clsbarr(at)yahoo(dot)com - already you all have done so much and we can barely begin to express our gratitude...this simple thank you feels so small in comparison but know it is from the deepest part of us....