Do you Write as an Outlaw or to Survive?

“Writing is a form of personal freedom. It frees us from the mass identity we see in the making all around us. In the end, writers will not write to be outlaw heroes of some underculture, but mainly to save themselves, to survive as individuals.”
-Don Delillo
I never thought of myself as an outlaw. But then again I often find myself trying to skirt boundaries, so it may not be a stretch at times. No, really, the truth is in the freedom.
I write because I cannot help it. It is a being trapped inside me that is eager to share its ideas, stories, nightmares… I dream vividly. I always have. I don’t think there is a part of my brain that would let me not dream in story form; so many of my characters began/begin in dreams. I see faces in my dreams – and no they are not family members or people I know. There have been times that my scientific friends tell me it is people I see on the street, yes it’s very possible, but I often like to think that they are truly organic -that my imagination is mine alone to share.
That is where I am the outlaw. My characters definitely don’t play by the rules. They are often obstinate, difficult, exasperating, hilarious and terrifying. They surprise me as well. Just today I was thinking of one of my female “friends”, she is in a state of shock and turmoil; a state where she should be falling apart yet resolution came to me swift. She will make it through this; I won’t have to tell her goodbye. That is wonderful. There are others though who skirt the rules and I have to watch them go. They are the outlaws, pushing their limits, losing their minds but they have a purpose, they have a reason and freedom is often the lead cause.
I write to survive. I write to see if the outlaws survive. I write because their stories, no matter if they are big or small within the context, are important and to ignore their stories is to create my own personal prison, where lockdown is madness and there is no recreational time. So yes freedom from mass identity, from personal prisons, from madness…it is all avoided so that survival is first and foremost in my mind each morning.
I write because I must.