"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you...we are in charge of our Attitudes."
- Charles R Swindoll
***I have never been someone who delights in angry situations, who chooses to get mad rather than let it go. I work hard to keep my attitude in check. It is on occasion that I let it slip, that I snap at someone or take it out on those closest to me when really they have nothing to do with the issue at hand. Like most of us it is easy to blame the mood on hormones (the lack of or overload), a bad day at work or just because I don't feel right. Lately I have been the subject of many discussions pertaining to moods. Not that I have had bad ones or anything more that I am a little like a lab rat being watched by those closest to me. You see after all the physical changes from December there are assumptions about how my attitude and demeanor may/might/will/won't change:
"Well, she needs to be on hormones, they will really help." "Go ahead and get her to a shrink, it will help your marriage. My wife went crazy after her hysterectomy." "I don't know man, I mean, they say women just don't handle the hormone changes well...maybe she will be different." "So is she acting any different?" "How is Courtney? How is she handling everything?"
Yes, there are new things I am learning about. I never thought at 31 I would be wading through menopause searching desperately for any air conditioner, fan, iceberg that might lead me to wherever it is I won't sweat through my clothes at the drop of a hat or that I would be experiencing insomnia like nothing before. (The fact that I can no longer carry a child obviously is a hilarious irony to the fact that I am getting less sleep than I would with a newborn). Even with these new things to learn about I am trying to take everything in stride. I am in no way angry, upset or disappointed in how my life has evolved. I know that there are things that I cannot control and that the way I approach them relates to the way I progress through this life, it affects the attitude that I project onto others. Yes, I have down days, days where I imagine things differently - but even in those moments I have a supreme amount of clarity. I KNOW that I am here today because of amazing people who had the right attitude when they dealt with my rare case. I KNOW that the attitude they had when talking to me about everything helped mold my response. I trusted them because of their own convictions and because their attitude made me feel more at peace with the changes I would encounter. My attitude toward recovery helped my husband and my family relax. So Mr. Swindoll was quite right in his statement: We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. It may seem too easy or some days too difficult but either way it is always our choice. I am choosing to see the silver lining each day. I am choosing to look at the blessings I am given and acknowledge their greatness. I am selecting an attitude that hopefully will leave a positive imprint on everyone I encounter....So what will your attitude be today?