Courtney S. Barr

Welcome to My Kingdom!
Join me, the Princess, on my Royal Adventures in the Land of Writing!

Saturday, August 7, 2010

HIGH DRAMA BLOGFEST!!!

Welcome to the HIGH DRAMA BLOGFEST hosted by the sweet and wonderful DL Hammons... be sure to wander over to his blog Cruising Altitude and wander through the other entries.
I was a bit unclear as to what constituted High Drama...so if this is not textbook definition I apologize, for me it is dramatic - I hope for you as well ;o)
This is not from a WIP but written specifically for the blogfest...
***
"What does it mean?"

My eyes followed her nervous fingers as she opened the door; the round edges of her nails a stark white against the dingy brass knob. An urge to stop her slammed into my gut.

"It means that things have changed." The voice that spoke did not sound like my own. Gruff tones, low and sad.

What is wrong with you?

"Why? I thought - I thought you...I mean I thought it was getting better."

Her voice isn't gruff. It is soft and sweet, a sound that could soothe away any pain, make you remember things long buried and not care about the things you had done. I wanted to hear her always.

The large wooden door creaked as she pulled it open. Melodic strains of Rachmaninoff glided out and chills ran down my arms. Her question was simple but now I knew the answer would not be - at least not to her.

"It isn't."

I pushed her through and she stumbled to the floor. Her gasp barely registered when I saw him. He stood. Long, lean limbs unfolded as he straightened; dark black hair curled at the nape of his neck. A gray shirt hung loosely on his gangly frame accentuating the snug jeans. High cheekbones, eerie in their structure sat beneath eyes of night - black and terrifying.

She backed up and pressed against me. The ache grew and forcibly I pushed her forward.

"Wait - please..." No longer sweet and soft, her voice a pleading whisper that was more whine than ever.

He was in front of her before she could finish; his movements barely visible as he crossed the room. Long bony fingers curled around her neck.

Her body shook as she tried to turn back to me.

I started to leave. His head snapped up and I froze. He looked from her to me and smiled.

"I see...you know the rules Evan."

Silently I nodded.

"Good." Gravely tones elongated the word and I knew then that yes, it isn't any better. "I apologize Evan, but I do not sense the gift in her."

Before I could say a word his hand twisted and her head fell to the side unnaturally. He released her and I watched the soft peach skin, dark chesnut hair and the brightest light I had ever known collapse onto the floor.

The ache was gone, replaced by an internal scream that can never be freed. My breathing hitched as I stared at her. He cleared his throat and I looked back at him; my body reeling with a hatred I had never known.

"Do better next time Evan." He began to hum along with music, waving a hand in dismissal.

I glanced at her, seeing her eyes stare blindly towards the wall and felt the scream die down replaced by a burning heat.

"Oh, I will sir, I will." Yes things had definitely changed.

***
Have fun today on this Sunny Saturday!

25 comments:

  1. Wow. Seems like high drama to me!

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  2. Wow, Courtney. That is a great hook. I have so many questions. I would keep reading for a long time, girlie! Awesome job. :-)

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  3. I was little confused, but you have nice details and description and you did leave me wanting to know more. Very nice.

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  4. Liza - Thanks! It was fun! I am glad you enjoyed it. This blogfest was a little intimidating but so worth it - plus DL is a doll!

    Shannon - girlie so sweet to have you in the Kingdom today! So happy it hooked you - lord knows where it could ever go.

    Mary - lol! I cannot blame you for being a little confused. The scene was written off the cuff last night and with no idea for premise or direction...but now I have an idea as to who each is and what they mean so perhaps if I explore it later it will make more sense. Thank you for the wonderful comment & as always for visiting the Kingdom.

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  5. Wow, that was intense! More questions than answers, and there's a dozen directions it could go!

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  6. Oh, drama for sure. I hope you explore this and play with the idea further.

    Happy weekend! :)
    Love,
    Lola

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  7. Definitely stirs up a lot of questions. Interesting premise. One para is present tense, not sure if you meant to do that. Thanks for sharing!

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  8. I liked how the dynamic relationship between Evan and the dark man unfolded for me as I read. Great inspiration -- enjoy exploring this premise!

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  9. Hi.

    Oooh yes, exploring the dark side!

    Great atmosphere and brooding contempt. This has so much potential you can really go walk the dark corridors of the mind and creep (freak) the reader through charred blackness of hell.

    best
    F

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  10. Very intense. I want to read more. thank you for posting.

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  11. Whoa. Definitely high drama and very well written- had me hooked from the beginning. Thank you for posting- following your blog now!

    ~bru

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  12. OH! I forgot to participate in this! Though I kind of wondered the same thing...what's high drama? All of my drama is the teenage kind!

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  13. That was fun. Following your blog.

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  14. That was full of intense emotion. What a great hook. I hope you follow through with developing this--it sounds like a very intriguing concept. It made me crave more. ;-)

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  15. I'd definitely say this is drama!
    And creepy--as my husband's name is Evan... maybe he delivered me to the dark man and I died?!!?! :)

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  16. Chilling! Nice intensity through the entire piece. :)

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  17. No doubt about it....HIGH DRAMA it is!! This was very interesting. Dark and brooding...full of questions the beg to be answered. I enjoyed it thoroughly! Thank you for letting us sample a piece of your writing for my blogfest. :)

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  18. Super intense! Loved it! And the dark-eyed guy was creepy!

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  19. whoah man! that guy is the stuff of nightmares! great entry!

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  20. I see a short story at least in Evan's future. Or at least in my reading future. The deep pov here was awesome; and his internal conflict was excellently portrayed. HE was so menacingly defined, a difficult accomplishment in so few words.

    Well done. My nose kept getting closer and closer to the screen to be sure I didn't miss a single word or nuance.

    ......dhole

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  21. Great hook! You definitely have a knack for drama!!! Loved this piece :)

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  22. Great emotion, and a powerful story! I was quickly drawn in. Great passion here:

    The ache was gone, replaced by an internal scream that can never be freed. My breathing hitched as I stared at her. He cleared his throat and I looked back at him; my body reeling with a hatred I had never known.

    I can't wait to read more!

    —Portia

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  23. Great hook and a good place to end. Thanks for a great story..:)

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  24. So was she supposed to have the gift? What was Evan getting in return? Who WAS that dude?

    Loved it :)

    It's the Super Sister Celebration!

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  25. You're my first blogfest entry I've read today and I loved it! Well done. I need to read more of your stories. :)

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