Re-direction...

I hope everyone had a very Happy Easter holiday. We headed down to the big city of Camden & had a very nice & relaxing time.
Most of you probably don't know that recently I have really had some odd bouts of depressive moods. My emotions have been a whirlwind for quite some time (about 7 months actually) but the worst came most recently. I am the poster child for putting on a good front no matter what my mood & really when I appear to be in a bad mood it typically is more derivative of something deeper. You see when I state in my ABOUT ME that I am sensitive to my surroundings - it is not an exaggeration. Marcus calls me his "tortured artist" and at times I really empathize with the concept. We all have down days & have to push through but it seemed lately mine were rolling on top of me & never letting me breathe much less have the ability to 'push' back. This past week was very trying for me. I felt like I was really heading in the wrong direction with my life, that somewhere a choice I had made had somehow made all choices obsolete. The paths were destroyed - no longer could I venture into something different. It took a day to look at the sky & barren pecan trees for me to realize how ignorant I had become. You see I have so many interests, so many areas I want to explore that sometimes those options had swamped me. Then I would wake up go to work & feel pigeon holed - never would I be seen as someone other than what I do at work. How silly; I had let the outside world change my own personal view of myself. Now granted a day in the sun does not make for continuous sunny days but it did help lift a good portion of my mood & made me a bit more positive about my current self reflections. I lay on a hammock in the back yard of my parents house and found myself crying silently to myself. Crying not for being sad but angry, guilty tears. I felt angry that I had let myself become this sad pity party & guilty because my pity party is for something that is seemingly petty compared to issues other people have. Then as my mother called across the yard and asked if I was okay it was like a movie show in front of me. I was honestly flooded with memories. I saw myself in a wheelbarrow beneath my old bedroom window. I sat on a quilt with a book & sketchpad in my lap. The air was so hot, but the cool metal that touched my skin helped to ward it off. I could hear my brother & his friend heading out on four wheelers to fish in the pond. I saw me & my best friend on a rainy day smashing bottles off the back porch (we got in trouble for that one). I saw Marcus & I sitting in the swing under the pecan tree, so young & so full of love. Then the sounds of splashes in the pool, my parents dancing in the kitchen. Then just as swiftly I remembered clover, lush green clover all underneath the fruit trees, I could see my mom on the front porch hollering out to see if I was okay. The memories were plentiful & I swear in some I smiled at myself. In the present I had stopped swaying on the hammock & then I was smiling. It felt so good to really smile. I just almost felt washed over with relaxation. My stomach wasn't turning & the tears had dried up. I know that being a "tortured artist" :) that my path will not be smooth & clear but realizing that there is always a reason to be happy, I am alive, I have family, friends, God gave me so many talents, too many I think sometimes. Here I am just letting them waste, blaming it on "not having time". POSH! He gave me these talents who am I to let them sit & waste away. Those talents are what make me whole, they are my escape, my sanity, my insanity, my happiness & my sadness. So again I have to look at myself and chastise the human emotion of self-pity & move forward. So look out who knows what you may see me putting in a blog next. Lets just hope that I don't go crazy trying to figure out which direction to go. I am most glad though to realize my directions never left in the first place, I had merely put up a roadblock.

Nicknames

Seems everyone has posted their nicknames & since I have a couple myself I feel that I could share them with the world:
1. CoCo - this particular nickname popped up in the 3rd grade when Stacie, Brandi, Weslyn & I created our own Fantastic Four "girls club" and gave each other code nicknames. Yes code, we thought they would be difficult to decipher - oh the mind of a 3rd grader. (this is also used with the nieces & nephews sometimes: Aunt CoCo)
2. Goose - this particular nickname goes back farther than my own memory. My oldest brother Jeremy christened me this one & it has always stuck. He is really the only one who uses it & due to that it has always been quite special to me. I idolized him as a little girl & the fact that he bestowed my very own nickname was very special & important growing up.
3. Princess - for obvious reasons - why would you not call someone what they are?
4. Snookie - reserved only for Marcus (he in turn is my Snookie Bear) yes I know...
5. Silly Girl - my mom used to use this when I was little, I don't know if even she would remember it. I always liked it though.
6. Marcus' Girlfriend - for quite sometime throughout our dating period in high school to Marcus' family I did not have a name I was merely Marcus' Girlfriend. Yep - there are too many cousins in his family & well they just dubbed me that rather than using my real name.

Those are really the most prominent that ever stuck. I guess that nicknames are just a force of habit, we give them to my nieces and nephews: Colton, Coy, & Jon are Knuckleheads #1, #2, & #3. Anna was very upset to NOT be considered a knucklehead so she was given Knucklehead #4. Jessica is Jess, Christian is ITTY BITTY BOY, Hannah (Mindy's little girl) is Hannah Montana. It just sort of happens the words come out & boom you are christened that new spontaneous nickname. To me it is most amusing as to why we have them over what they are.

Time well spent...

Another visit with the Fantastic 4. No I am not crazy & believe the Fantastic 4 will just stop saving the world to spend time with me.... the 4 I am speaking of are my sister's kids. We were blessed to spend another weekend enjoying the sounds of chaos, calamity, laughter, love, & fun. I am ever amazed by my sister's ability to keep up with it all & not run around in her underwear screaming or even laughing hysterically. Those 4 kids are an adventure no matter what the daily agenda holds. They see so much fun in such different places & immediately see the yuck in many of the same things we adults do. I love that her youngest, Christian, immediately knows that with his dinner time he needs to take his medicine. He gets the bottle, the spoon and waits for mom to spoon some out. Also how Anna tends to sing or bounce every moment, the occasional moment of stillness comes only when the television captures her mind. There is Jessica who every night proclaims her royalty by wearing a princess night gown, complete with ribbons & sparkly areas. Then you have the oldest Jon, definitely able to spot a chore request & does it well, albeit a little begrudgingly; he recognizes the excitement of adventure whether it be on Television, in a book, a movie, or outside. The exuberance is infectious. They have so many beautiful quirks and idiosyncracies that are molding their personalities, I love being a part of the interactive audience of their lives.
Marcus really enjoyed the time with everyone. He was not expecting to be so relaxed once the weekend was over. He did exactly what he loves to do: slept,ate, played games, watched Avatar & laughed - a lot. My husband is such a big kid at heart that those 4 sometimes have to keep up with his imagination. (let's just say a couch can be a hot tub or castle or forrest in his mind) He loves watching the kids, how they interact not only with one another but how each bounces off their parents. Nina & Keith really handle situations with a great deal of patience & comfort. Though I must say getting ready to go anywhere can be a 3 ring circus complete with disappearing & reappearing shoes, animal herding, & tasty snacks. :)
Our dog Peanut watches over them like a little mother hen & loves the craziness of playtime. He sleeps so well at night after running circles with the kids :)
It is always a pleasure to be able to see family, but when I get to spend time with them & really see them it makes me remember how special & blessed we are. I would not trade a moment spent with them for anything in the world. Nina's kids are my Fantastic 4 - which are actually a portion of my Sensational 7: Coy, Colton, Jon, Anna, Jessica, Christian, David. I hope to always be included in their audience & hope they know that every showing is my favorite.

A beautiful weekend..

You could definitely say that a beautiful weekend aides in making us go outside our normal routines or at least gives us guts to do something. You may all think I am talking about some odd adventure & it is in no way NOT an adventure that Marcus & I took on: we shaved Peanut. Yep our little puppy got his first grooming from his mom & dad. Yeah we have never done it before either. I know your thoughts are probably: Ooh. How did this turn out? Well it turned out pretty good. He looks so cute, got his little puppy cut back & he lost about 4 pounds in hair. The length was around 7-8 inches in certain points on his back, and the shaggy sheep dog look was rock'n. Now he is trimmed up with a fluffy tail & looks so precious! He did so well too, though the sound of the shears was not very comforting to him, he handled it well.

The beautiful weekend also made us get out & enjoy Tuscaloosa. We really had a great time just roaming town, stopping at stores we never get to stop at during the week, went out to lunch, and took a nice drive. Marcus never gets to leisurely shop with me around town so it was quite nice for us to just relax & enjoy each other's company. The grocery store was even an okay stop. Because we had no time constraints and no huge list to purchase we were able to just grab some steaks & some fresh herbs and head back home. OOOH those steaks were good. I have perfected my marination techniques if I do say so myself :) We also made a Chocolate Gateau, recipe courtesy of SMELLS LIKE HOME blog (there is a link on the left of my page titled: Cooking Fiend, this is the SMELLS LIKE HOME blog). I have got to tell you this fudgy cake is to die for... I mean sinfully perfect!! She really nailed it with this recipe. We plan to make it again on Thursday night & take it to Atlanta this weekend to share with my sister's family. If any of you stop by my house for a visit, I promise to make one beforehand - it is unreal & is now going to be my go-to dessert for chocolate lovers.

Well the weather we understand is not to stay so warm & wonderful, but hopefully Spring will rise up soon & cover us all...

Here are some pictures of the Nut with his new haircut:

more days gone by....

Been too long again... I can't bug my sister about posting if I don't post often myself! :)
Well we have been busy in my Kingdom lately. I had strep throat for a week, yuck! Hit like a ton of bricks last Monday! Crazy.
Valentine's day has passed since my last post. We took it nice & relaxing this year. Dinner for two at home & a few gifts. I gave Marcus this Cutter & Buck Alabama shirt that he has been wanting from the Shirt Shop downtown & he gave me a new Blackberry. Both gifts are quite practical for the two of us & not nearly as extravagant as we both tend to be. Then Marcus threw me a curveball. A homemade, cut out heart (very homemade:) ) card with a sucker taped to it. He didn't just write Happy Valentine's day, he wrote: "I love you. When the world is crazy around me you are what makes sense. Thank you for saving me every day. love, Marcus." I cried!!! He did good.
I spoke with my best friend Stacie last Sunday. She lives in North Carolina now. I am human, I miss people when they are not able to be close, but talking to her again, hearing how the kids are & her husband, I realized the word 'miss' just does not even begin to describe my thoughts. We were the two girls who literally have known each other from birth. We are the two that did everything together, grew together, loved together, hated together, everything. Same town, same school, same classes, same parties, same dances, everything. She has always been more sister than just friend. Hearing her again made me smile & feel so good Sunday night. It made me think how important it is that we keep in touch even if the calls are more sporadic or just quick hellos, emails, even snail mail. We both live very different lives, but that core bond, that true kindred spirit will forever hold us. She told me that she reads my blog. I laughed out loud & realized that this page on the internet, this jumble of thoughts, photos, videos etc. has not only been therapeutic for me but also it has enabled me to keep in touch with so many people. It is a way to let them into my life when they only have a few minutes, where any time of day or night they can know how we are, where we are going, and even just random thoughts like these. But for me it allows shout outs like this one and lets me tell a friend how much she means to me without sounding too cheesy or commercial as we all sometimes do when these things are said outloud. So Stacie, thank you for reading, but most importantly thank you for being a great sister. You have always been there for me & I hope that I have returned the favor & that we will continue to do so. Keep sending pictures of those girls.. they are so beautiful!
My sister's kids had the entire last week out of school. No not spring break, just another winter break. Boy do I wish we'd have had so many breaks! geez. Well since I was sick they went to Camden first on Thursday & had a blast with the twins, mom & dad. Then on Saturday they came up to Tuscaloosa since I was feeling better & putting them closer to interstate traveling. Those 4 kids are so awesome. I am amazed every time I get to see them. They are growing up so quick! They immediately wanted to play High School Musical Sing It! on our Wii. (yes it is our game system & our game:) )I set them up then Nina & I went to pick up some Chinese food. YUM! My dog Peanut has more fun with those kids & we love it because he gets so tired that he really sleeps all through the night. Sunday they had to head back kind of early so after they left Marcus & I did.... nothing. Since I had been sick Oscar parties were out, so I curled up on the couch with my Oscar poll, popcorn, & juice & watched one of my favorite award shows.
Today was back to the daily grind & hopefully a nice week without throat pain, fevers, or shots!

I posted the picture of the kids & Peanut before they left... aren't they all precious?

A look into the world of fashion... no; a look into the fashion of the world.

I don't know how many of you actually venture through any of my links under "Out on the Town.." to the left on the screen. But if you feel the urge to explore a little make sure to click on The Sartorialist every now & then. The link takes you to very well known blog by a gentleman at ease with fashion. He has written for The New York Magazine, GQ & guest columns with other fine establishments. It is his blog though that draws people in. Being quite an accomplished photographer, he enjoys taking pictures of "found fashion". To me it is much like art with "found objects". His subject matter is the everyday person on every street in cities that we all wish to see or have been to & enjoyed their differences. He resides in New York & travels quite often to Europe so he has a bevy of subjects to choose from. I most enjoy reading the comments people make on his pictures purely because they come from every corner of the world. His subjects are most often of fashion statements that in our sleepy Alabama would make someone stop & stare, but yet they blend beautifully in their current surroundings. I am a firm believer in the circular aspect of fashion. Not only do I LOVE to be on the edge of the new thing, but the timeless classics that infuse our past are comfortable & lovely to me. His picture today is of a man, who endearingly so, appears quite embarrassed to have been chosen for his "look". Yet it is that endearing smile & handsome ensemble that made me smile. It is amazing how just the aura of a human being, a stranger, a person one will probably never encounter can affect your mood. He is simply a delight to see & for some reason such a darling countenance should not be wasted on the mundane, but merely shared for the world. I appreciate that the "Sartorialist" shared this gentleman with us & that he has given me a place to see people, not on screen in costume, but to SEE people around the world, to see how their environment affects their clothing, their smiles, their attitude about the one marketing aspect we are all blessed with: our own style. Anyway, if you get a chance click on the link... find yourself inspired or astonished, either way enjoy the views.

Tagged....

Well, I have gotten tagged on two occasions of blogging recently. Tracy - the book excerpt tag & Cheyenne - 6 things (check out hers... then let me know what you think about the M&Ms one...:) ). So here I am responding to my tagging.

First up: Tracys book tag.

"For this noble expression of the mind they have hardly more respect than for the art of cooking. They want a score that, like a plate of macaroni, can be assimilated immediately without having to think about it. And yet, though it's true that Donizetti's crowd-pleasers won't bear examination by the rigorous standards of contemporaries such as Beethoven, Schubert, Schumann, or Chopin, he nonetheless had a genuine artistic vision."

This is an excerpt from a book I am reading about Classical Music. The gentleman they are referring to is Gaetano Donizetti. He was someone who greatly enjoyed the drama of bel canto operas. His compositions are very moving & beautiful.

For those that I'm going to tag, here is what you gotta do:
1. Grab your nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag 5 different people.

Cheyenne's Tag-

6 Facts/Habits About Me:

1. I have a very active imagination. This is easily realized when I quickly tell people that I am a Princess. I have always been a Princess but alas some people just need to be reminded. My imagination is so vivid that I catch myself creating millions of stories in my head all the time. I go into these worlds & have these amazing adventures, characters become so real that it moves into my dreams. They captivate my sleep & are with me when I wake up.
2. I have got a bunch of pet peeves. The cleanliness of my house is a big one. I don't like a spotless house at all, with Marcus & Peanut, I will never have spotless. But I do enjoy a comfortable house, i.e. when you come over there should be no dirty that is embarrassing. I cannot stand laundry on my bedroom floor. It can go on the floor in the laundry room, but not our bedroom or bathroom. I hate dishes in the sink. I will only let them sit for a few hours (and really no longer than about 45 minutes), after that they are washed or loaded into the dish washer. I will not allow drinking glasses to gather around a room. (if you have a drink, drink it, if you leave it sitting I will pour it out & put it in the dishwasher!) There are more, but if all are listed I would have to change the title to: I am so anal.
3. I am a Retail Therapy guru. Okay I am a shopper, but really I become a Retail Therapy guru most of the time. When you are having a bad day, I can prescribe the best retail item that will make the day seem better. For example: Your bad day is due to work = the best item to buy is a fashion mag & some candles. Go home, light the candles, get out the mag, scour the fun stories light hearted humor & pics of everything from purses to shoes & just flake out. No need to buy TIME mag or something too deep. The candles create a soft ambience, if scented the aromas bring about relaxation & pleasure. The stress of a day is best released with something that requires no heavy lifting (physical or mental)!
4. I love Music & the Arts. There is not a moment in the day that those stories mentioned above don't have some sort of theme music at one point or another. I love all genres. I could live without TV )obviously since I have one in my head :) but without music, I am so melancholy. It evokes emotions that I may not realize I need to release but I do. I love the theater, I love paintings, I love sketches, I love sculpture, I love photography. If I could quit my job right now & be able to just explore ever medium available I would be unbelievably happy. There are so many elements of this part of me (the one that draws & paints & takes pictures) that has yet to be explored. I want to learn about all of them. It is a desire that I have begun to take day by day. Finding a book on a new technique or a favorite artist, just taking a moment to admire, to inspect, & to learn is something that brings me immense joy.
5. Pizza is my favorite food. I mean every pizza. All kinds, no prejudice here. Pizza. definitely. :)
6. I hate underwear. Okay due to Cheyenne's crazy M&M post I felt invigorated to list this last crazy thing about me. Yes - all kinds of underwear. I hate them all. (I have this thing about always being barefooted - my feet feel all caged in unless in an open toe shoe/sandal. I hate sneakers & never wear any sort of sock.) Well to be honest, my bottom feels all caged in when wearing underwear. Yes I do wear it, but to be utterly honest, I would feel most comfortable without it. Bras are okay. It is just underwear. I am not a layering person, so maybe that has something to do with it. Thongs are the closest thing to not having anything on so they are really the only way to be even somewhat comfortable. Anyway, now that I have truly shared something you all had no idea about, well I feel all exposed. Comfy now?
:) Okay so now I tag Tracy & Nina for the 6 Habits. I also tag Nina for the Book exercise.

RECAP

Again, it has been too long between posts. I keep opening the page only to be interrupted, get sidetracked, and have to get up to do something else! So tonight, I promised before the storms I would hammer out a post. Over the last few weeks we have had a whirlwind of company and honey-do list accomplishments. We got our front door re-painted (the dingbats who built our house had used interior paint & lets just say the elements were not nice at all over the past 2 years), the basement has been reorganized (definitely almost time for another yard sale), the stairs are now fixed (we had a carpet issue on the bottom set of stairs), we now have gutters (it seems gutters are not a necessity to builders - we have learned that there is not a house built in Tuscaloosa with gutters unless the home owner specifically asks for them), we know have a second guest bedroom complete with a bed (before it was just a computer room), my 1st guest bedroom is almost exactly how I want it, I now have a book case in the kitchen just for cookbooks, a new dining room rug, and we have acquired a contractor to finish the basement & paint our master bedroom & living area. (Now as for how quickly those rooms get painted - who knows. We want the basement closed in first, so I will keep everyone posted on those projects). Whew! It has been interesting to say the least around our house. We had to find a new cleaning service, so that was a trial & error process. We finally found one that we are comfortable with & is comfortable with Peanut. (it is very important that they not only like dogs, but love ours :) ) Marcus' dad brought his fiance into town last weekend, our first meeting of this young woman. Her name is Ramona & she is very nice. Not only did she come with him, but on Saturday our house played hostess to Marcus' aunt, cousin, brother, sister n law, & nieces. We cooked a HUGE meal & fed everyone. It was like a holiday dinner! Only I chose summer foods: Barbecue Chicken, Beans (Green & Baked), Salad, Hashbrown Casserole...yum. His aunt brought a wonderful Grape Salad & her heavenly hershey chocolate cake. Trust me it is so good!! We also went to dinner with some friends a few weekends ago & watched the Bucket List with Jack Nicholson & Morgan Freeman. I must say it surprised me. As one of those movies where you go in knowing death is definitely inevitable for the main characters, the plot getting to that ending was actually quite good. It definitely touched not only the live for the moment, but also the wake up & realize what you have buttons. Of course it was Jack so the humor, one line wonders were everywhere. We also ventured to Birmingham to the StarDome last Tuesday night (celebrating our friend Fran's 30th birthday). The comics were quite good - Steve Brown from Tuscaloosa was very entertaining as was DS Sanders, now the guy in the middle a Mikey somethinge or another wasn't my favorite until his last skit. The show was basically a crude male humor show until the last seconds. He picked up his guitar & makes this statement: You know cartoons these days... well they suck. I want to pay tribute to the wonder of cartoons of my youth. So if you know the words, please sing along! We will end on a high note so get ready. He then proceed to sing a montage of Smurfs, Thundercats, Gummi Bears, Chip&Dale Rescue Rangers, Tale Spin, and others then he ended with Muppet Babies. He did every voice! It was awesome. For that alone I enjoyed the show. Anyway, sorry that this post seems to merely be a recap of events over about 3 weeks, but to be honest I needed to type it all down! lol. This is my virtual diary so getting this stuff posted is really therapeutic.