SPRING???? WHERE!?

Springtime is the land awakening. The March winds are the morning yawn.

-Lewis Grizzard

***

That is one powerful yawn this year…

Spring began last week. Yep, you read that right. I know, I know you don’t believe me, well I was pretty sure it was still January too until I realized Easter was this coming up weekend. Peter Cottontail better be careful, those Reese’s commercials where the bunny ears and booty of the chocolate rabbit ‘disappear’ might be attributed to frostbite rather than small, excessively excited hungry egg hunters.

Don’t get me wrong the sky outside my window is lovely; a beautiful, bright blue with cotton candy clouds and the soft glow of sunshine filtering through. Yet when the door opens and the air rushes into the room the perception alters…biting cold breeze, chilling air thrusting around your face, you imagine dead trees, gray clouds and dull monochromatic color schemes. My cheeks sting with the pinch of wintry fingers and I am afraid that sighing will give way to frostbitten tonsils.

Yeah, that yawn might need to just hurry up and close its trap before a frozen bumblebee slips in to sting it all the way into summer.

Cold weather or not, the season really is upon us. I have open toed sandals dying to be loved. Flirty dresses that want to sway in the breeze and lungs that dream to breathe air in one swift movement rather cough every half second.

So today I am just popping in, begrudging the weather a bit and sending happy Spring vibes out to the world. It will be lovely again soon…I know it. IT MUST!

Happy Tuesday! Have some fun blog hopping today:

Check out fun Movie Picks here!

Google and Your Blog!

The QQQE gears up for A to Z

The Writers Alley & Sherrinda discuss writing about places you've never been!

Sara definitely knows How Writing Feels...

Focus - do you struggle as well?

“It’s not what’s happening to you now or what has happened in your past that determines who you become. Rather, it’s your decisions about what to focus on, what things mean to you, and what you’re going to do about them that will determine your ultimate destiny.”

-Anthony Robbins

***

Yes. Focus.

We hear this from the get go. We must focus on the task at hand. What we don’t often hear or process is which task truly deserves my focus?What we choose to do with our time. The selection of the task is such an important thing, that the moment that we discover perhaps another task would be better or that we should shift our focus we find it easy to get a little lost. When a task is complete, yes that feeling of accomplishment is phenomenal but then we are met with that beginning question all over again. Each time the question leads us into the direction that determines who we are.

I often focus on the wrong thing, then have to turn re-evaluate what means the most to me. I over analyze and question myself too often. My decision of focusing on things that are mundane can be devastating. I feel like I’ve lost time, I’ve wasted opportunities, and that I’ve let myself down. I see those signs that say to “make each moment count” and for a fleeting moment I feel like I messed up & my moments become worthless.

As a Type A/Creative person this is beyond annoying. I cannot explain the frustration with wanting to focus, complete the task all the while this huge part of me that relishes creative freedom tells me to just relax and let it all go. What a war my own mind wages daily…comical if you relish the highly confused, over organized, lackadaisical writer.

However, just recently I took one of those moments to focus on “focusing”. I pondered how I often get sidetracked, how I allow self-doubt to slip in and how I know that I have every bit within me to accomplish my dreams and I found something…You see making each moment count is great, but really, my newest epiphany is that for me it’s the fact that I must accept that each moment of my life is inherently valuable. I don’t need to focus on making each moment count, they already matter. I just need to remember that focus as a verb is one exceptional word: (of a person or their eyes) Adapt to the prevailing level of light and become able to see clearly.

So long as I adapt to see clearly, then my focus is spot on.

TOP 10 MOVIE BLOGFEST...a little late but still loving the challenge...

Okay, I am a bit late to this party, but what a shindig to swing by!  Alex Cavanaugh is hosting the most awesome blog hop!!!

So my top ten…really? Just 10? In all honesty this list is a summary of the ones that cling to my frontal lobe at all times, but others sneak in here often, so if asked again at a later date you may find substitutions…Oh and I won’t apologize for my weird and eclectic list purely because the hodgepodge is me from top to bottom. ;)

1)      High Society – Grace Kelly, Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra & Louis Armstrong. My old soul says “enough said” after that cast list. But it is more than the beautiful faces & voices of this cast. The glamour in this movie is stunning and the love triangle one for the ages of writerly romances.

2)      Empire Records – The cast is one of misfits unlike any other. They are quirky, weird, unique and altogether perfectly combined. Its storylines are very teen angst but the setting of a record store, the kind that are beyond few & far between these days, is the perfect backdrop for rebellious attitudes against “the man”. Considering the fate of record stores, it may evoke melancholy outlooks, bewarned.

3)      Emma – Gwyneth Paltrow is by far one perfect player for this matchmaker of doom role. The classic story is funny, sad, and worth every minute. The landscape is gorgeous and the costumes are lovely.

4)      EASY A – The references to classic romances Can’t Buy Me Love, Say Anything, Sixteen Candles or the Breakfast club alone have this one in my top 10. Emma Stone however delivers a snarky teen with morals, opinions and charisma in a way that I thought was lost amongst young actors today. Stanley Tucci as her father is refreshing and to see Lisa Kudrow as such a “villain” (if adultress chlamydia wielding makes you a villain) is quite entertaining.

5)      The Usual Suspects – Set aside a couple hours and just watch it.

6)      The Parent Trap – Original with Haley Mills – first of all the split screen for the capture of the twins, Disney magic at the time, is awesome. But there is a sweetness to this movie within all the mischief that evokes childhood days of outside, laughter with my siblings and the idea that parents sometimes do need to listen to their kids.

7)      McClintock – John Wayne, the wonderful Maureen O’hara (she’s fantastic as the Bostonian matron no matter what movie) deliver quips, laughs, shocks and utter fun in this western comedy. John Wayne’s tough demeanor is breathtaking when the façade slips as he speaks to his daughter about what she will inherit one day.  A must watch.

8)      Troy – I know, I know, Brad Pitt, shirtless, half naked – it should be the only reason, but honestly it isn’t why I love it. I love this movie because when I watch it I don’t see Brad Pitt, I see Achilles in all his tragic glory. I see this movie and I believe it is what happened. For a war movie with mythical implications of strength and bravery, that is saying a great deal in my book.

9)       That Darn Cat – (original 1965 version) yep. You read that correctly. Disney made this one based on a lovely cat caper book series and well something about this one has me giggling every time I watch it.  Dean Jones had one heck of a contract with Disney and this one had to have been a doozy. He is hilarious as the FBI Agent dealing with a cat as an informant. Animals are not expressed to be easy to work with in Hollywood and I imagine cats top that list. However Disney did quite a few feline movies, so hats off to the days of cat wrangling.

I had to make 10 a 3 way tie…these three just won’t let me select just one:

10)   North by Northwest (1959) – Cary Grant carries me off every time I watch this one. The simple story of mistaken identity is taken to a level only Hitchcock could do so effortlessly.

10b) The Princess Bride – As a young aspiring writer there is nothing like this fairytale to bring all fairytales to life. The cast aides in creating a world that little girls dream of being the princess within and the tale ends as though the last seconds of your dream are just slipping away. I love this movie. The costumes, the sets, the hilarity, the twists and some of the best lines of all time.

10c) Super 8 – it has been a long time since I went to the theater to watch a SciFi/possibly horror-esque movie. This one teased me enough to have me wanting to go at midnight. Alas I went at 8 p.m. on the opening day and went I stepped out of the theater I was grinning from ear to ear. I loved the cinematography, the acting was superb and the suspense was perfect.  JJ Abrams, well done.

So there we have it. My list. It is ever evolving but these ring true as top faves.

Thanks for visiting; I hope I gave you some new redbox/Netflix/amazon prime selections to add to your queue. If not, ah, well to each his own.

Self-Renewal

So long as a person is capable of self-renewal, they are a living being.

-Henri Frederic Amiel

***

How satisfying to know that I am a living being.

My dreaming self has been in turmoil for the past few months. At night I find my mind has deep crevices of ideas, desires, nightmares and untruths. You see a very sneaky self-doubt has continued to creep into my current state of mind.

However for the past few weeks I have been on a trek, a journey, a walk where renewal is the theme. I am working on being a better Courtney; a woman who finds relief in the simplest aspect of life & realizes that the mundane is unimportant. Mundane must not be taken lightly. It is a term that can be used to reference the earthly part of our existence – lacking in spiritual depth. I don’t want to be that writer. The spiritual side of me, no matter what your beliefs, is what has kept me above the water’s surface rather than just treading it.

Faith has been a consistent topic on my blog in the past and it is because I am strong within it. I am not Catholic but I do choose to participate in Lent every year. It is purely because I feel that self-exploration and acknowledgement of habits/vices/addictions is healthy.  My “fast” this year is a bit odd and has definitely met the challenging aspect of Lent. I gave up two things: caffeine & cursing. Sadly for your Royal Writer over here, the cursing is the hardest. You just don’t realize how often those horrible words feel the need to escape into the air. They appear to be trapped “beings” within you and when they are free they elicit a shiver of excitement. Yet they don’t earn any awards or accolades or honest smiles from those around you. Granted I do feel there have been some instances where words of the vulgar manner seem to be the best responses, yet I have refrained. Faith has kept me on my path; the knowledge that the journey is worth it – a journey in which I am renewing the woman from the inside out. Even though dark, doubting thoughts try to get me to stray. They try to make me give up.

You see I lost my way again, I really need a map. I lost my moment of clarity and decision. In all honesty, I let it slip away; I allowed my inner being to become something that I no longer see as healthy or beneficial to my dreams & goals. Self-Doubt has held court for too long. It is as though my Royal Advisor has been talking truth but instead I have been listening to my nemesis’ lies.

So today I return to this wonderful world that has always welcomed me with open arms. I am a living being, capable of self-renewal, capable of believing in her talents, capable of using her strengths, capable of selecting what is best, what is silly, what is useful, what is important and what is pure fun. The map I need is really right here. It resides in this place of renewal, in this path of light; where self-doubt is banished by the knowledge that faith will lead me home.

Unraveling a Tapestry....

 “The mind is like a richly woven tapestry, in which the colors are distilled from the experiences of the senses and the designs drawn from the convolutions of the intellect…” 

– Carson McCullers

It is often that I think about stories, myths, and tales. Those I hold captive in my mind, those friends have told me through the years, the ones that I have yet to read, the ones I intend to write, the ones that still leave imprints on my memory, the ones that haunt the darkness and feed off the light…They are small pieces of our soul. They are the pieces that we often overlook, the moments we taste when the wind falls around us and the sun shines brightly on our faces. They are the pieces that crumble with every broken heart, that ache to be shared with the world when anger flows through us. They are the pieces of us that we tend to try to cover up and are those pieces that we hold in front of us to hide the inner being we still don’t understand.  At night, they are the pieces that hazily come together in our dreams, they talk to us when we are afraid, they fill us when we are lonely and they also have the power to drain us when met by unexpected foes.

To tell a story is to unravel a tapestry. No matter the ending, no matter the beginning, the tapestry is no longer the same as it was. The listener takes it and makes it something else. Their mind now holds the pieces; their mind is now in control of its design. They paint the picture and they decide its destiny. It now infiltrates their moments…the listener can feed it, share it, destroy it. Their soul is now pierced by its magic. Even in print a story is not the same to two people as it might be to the one who wrote it. That is its beauty that is its horror.  That is where the writer sees fear incarnate.  It is in print where we place our words, share the stories, the pieces of our souls…naively thinking that the listener/reader will see it exactly as it was intended. Would any of us really have it any other way? These different perspectives, these different spins are what we used to get ourselves into this passion to begin with. Inspiration is what made the tapestry exist, it fueled us when we felt lost, pushed us to create what we desired and aggravated us when we were unable to explain our thoughts. 

In today’s world where social media makes it so easy for the listener/reader to breakdown or build up the stories of our soul we must remember that it is our belief in its greatness that matters. Their version, their vision, their design of what we share is theirs – but it was spurred by the ideas, the passions, the love, the hate, the fear, the rebellion of what we put out there. The writer is doing as he/she should, writing; writing because their soul is not content to just be pieces that no one knows, to be silent, to be hidden away. It is yearning to be listened to, to be read, to be shared and to be recreated into whatever destiny awaits…the tapestry is ever changing, its colors, its design is not stagnate…it is gloriously being weaved into new hearts and minds with every comment, every opinion. Continue to write, to explore those stories because without them what a colorless landscape this would be…

***

Fear less, hope more, eat less, chew more, whine less, breathe more, talk less, say more, hate less, love more, and good things will be yours.

-Swedish Proverb

An ENDLESSLY fun Contest...

Well Kiersten White just happens to have this amazing series about Evie...now if you do not know Evie...boy you should! Pink Tazers, Supernatural Creatures, Adventures...

Anyway you have plenty of time to discover Evie's world (download it, read it, borrow it...don't steal it...I am a writer too and well it's frowned upon in all circles.... ;o) ) Right now you need to be counting down to the release of ENDLESSLY. Oh my goodness I cannot tell you how great Evie is..

Listen, go and wander over to Kiersten's blog enter her ARC contest - she has a challenge out for us all on this one (from her blog): I want you to tell me how a supernatural creature would disappoint you in reality.
 How much fun is that? Batman - hairy pits, Spider Man - VERY CLINGY as a boyfriend...you get the idea.

Without further ado, here is my contest entry:

Soooo today has been pretty interesting. I mean, it has been a really crappy day. First I forgot to shampoo my hair in the shower = greasy blonde mess; then I failed to shave my left leg = one legged pants are NEVER in fashion (no matter what your skeevy little brother tells you - the laughter will ring in my ears for decades!); last but not least I almost crashed my mom's car into the hardware store downtown because this HOT green eyed guy was standing on top of the Dairy Bar. Yeah ON TOP! 
Well he was up there until he slowed down the car before impact...yeah he flew or something - pretty cool, found out he's like uber strong, magical, save the world kind of guy. 
Of course I was psyched, thrilled and embarrassed...then he breathed on me. Really, really, REALLY bad halitosis...really bad. Hot eyes though. 


Oh and the shiny glitter handprint left on the hood....yeah, my dad will never be seen in this car again.

So, I hope you like it, but more than that I hope you discover Kiersen and all her witty loveliness...she is a doll.

Change is our only constant....

Well, it’s official. My 18 year old niece is now a High School Graduate. She IS coming into her own and we could not be more proud. We are preparing again to just be me & the Royal Hubs at home… She does not leave for college until August, but the mindset of her being adult forces us to consider how our lives will again change.

How can it simultaneously feel as though it was just the other month that she came to live with us, yet the couple of years we have shared make it also seem as though she has always been here?

Life is funny that way. Time does fly, we do seem to be flitting along this wisp of a life at rapid speed but I also feel like time is allowing me to cruise a little. I don’t feel my age. I have been told I don’t look it. I don’t feel tired. I don’t feel rundown. For the first time in a very long time I feel relaxed, ready, excited for another new chapter. My writing in the last year has definitely been a backburner, I don’t regret it because the effort I have been able to put towards The Duchess, my medical “detours”, and also the Royal Hub is worth it. But I am thrilled beyond anything that I have already been plotting in my head, that I have been reading more again, that I have had dreams that make my typing fingers itch and that right now I am typing a blog entry.

Please don’t think I have completely abandoned visiting the blogs I love so much. Thank you Google reader, thank you NOOK, APPLE, all the technology in my life has allowed me to at least see where everyone’s journey has taken them and I am so excited for all the endeavors I am seeing out there. God definitely has great timing, it does not always make sense but Faith teaches me patience and in patience I find so many good things that I would have overlooked.

I want to wish every graduate out there a congrats…whether it is High School, College, Masters, levels at work, levels in life…moving forward is something we cannot stop. Change is evidently here to stay and with it we discover so much and are allowed opportunities to create a positive change on those around us & within ourselves. Life is an amazing rollercoaster, we get to so many heights, dip our toes in the lows, feel the wind whip around us, feelings of fear, excitement, pleasure…what a ride life is. We are so blessed to get the chance to have our ticket to ride. Don’t waste it by sitting on the bench and watching everyone else fly by you…

I look forward to summer days…hours by the pool…fingers tapping on the keys…head bouncing to music…laughter, lots of laughter…warm nights with mosquitoes…long sun filled afternoons where the sky is painted orange, purple, blue and yellow…I invite you to not give up on me, to still check the castle for updates, to laugh every chance you get, to embrace the changes(whatever they may be) that surround you and to hold on tight – this castle intends to have a phenomenal summer!

Wading Through Menopause While Projecting a Good Attitude....

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you...we are in charge of our Attitudes."

- Charles R Swindoll

***

I have never been someone who delights in angry situations, who chooses to get mad rather than let it go. I work hard to keep my attitude in check. It is on occasion that I let it slip, that I snap at someone or take it out on those closest to me when really they have nothing to do with the issue at hand. Like most of us it is easy to blame the mood on hormones (the lack of or overload), a bad day at work or just because I don't feel right.  Lately I have been the subject of many discussions pertaining to moods. Not that I have had bad ones or anything more that I am a little like a lab rat being watched by those closest to me. You see after all the physical changes from December there are assumptions about how my attitude and demeanor may/might/will/won't change:
"Well, she needs to be on hormones, they will really help." "Go ahead and get her to a shrink, it will help your marriage. My wife went crazy after her hysterectomy." "I don't know man, I mean, they say women just don't handle the hormone changes well...maybe she will be different." "So is she acting any different?" "How is Courtney? How is she handling everything?" 

Yes, there are new things I am learning about. I never thought at 31 I would be wading through menopause searching desperately for any air conditioner, fan, iceberg that might lead me to wherever it is I won't sweat through my clothes at the drop of a hat or that I would be experiencing insomnia like nothing before. (The fact that I can no longer carry a child obviously is a hilarious irony to the fact that I am getting less sleep than I would with a newborn). Even with these new things to learn about I am trying to take everything in stride. I am in no way angry, upset or disappointed in how my life has evolved. I know that there are things that I cannot control and that the way I approach them relates to the way I progress through this life, it affects the attitude that I project onto others. Yes, I have down days, days where I imagine things differently - but even in those moments I have a supreme amount of clarity. I KNOW that I am here today because of amazing people who had the right attitude when they dealt with my rare case. I KNOW that the attitude they had when talking to me about everything helped mold my response. I trusted them because of their own convictions and because their attitude made me feel more at peace with the changes I would encounter. My attitude toward recovery helped my husband and my family relax. So Mr. Swindoll was quite right in his statement: We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. It may seem too easy or some days too difficult but either way it is always our choice. I am choosing to see the silver lining each day. I am choosing to look at the blessings I am given and acknowledge their greatness. I am selecting an attitude that hopefully will leave a positive imprint on everyone I encounter....So what will your attitude be today?