The First of the New Year...my Focus is on Him

From there you will seek the Lord your God, and you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul.

Deuteronomy 4:29

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In this the first full week of this New Year I'm drawn to the humbling realization that 2014 was an amazing year. God blessed us immensely by the gift of His presence - yes we did a good many things, saw amazing sites, enjoyed great travels, and began a process that will lead to our family growing but it is His presence that surrounds every single moment in 2014. This doesn't mean that every single day was simply brilliant and fun and fantastic - no, there were hard times. Moments that ripped me to my core and reminded me of sadness and of loss. He didn't leave me in those moments - He became a brighter light - but its because I asked Him to, I turned to Him, I gave those moments to Him. He is always waiting on the edge, hoping I will look to Him first. I'm learning how to do that completely.

I'm giving Him 2015 -even though it is just starting. I'm laying down the walls, worshiping Him with everything I have and trusting that He will provide in His time, in His manner and knowing that His responses are the best there are. It will take understanding; it will take patience; it will take trust; it will take moments of uncertainty that reveal clarity at the most unexpected times but it will be the journey that will move me forward towards the best of things, the greatest of loves and the most amazing relationships.

I'm thankful to Him for the friendships I've made this year. For the adoption fundraising - it has been supernatural in its success and continues to be so. We have a long way to go but the path is no longer covered in mud and briers - it is clear and ready for us.

I'm honored that He has seen such a path for us. I'm honored that He believes in us just as we have faith in Him.

I'm defined by my choices and I pray that they are worthy of Him.

I'm excited about this new year, about the trials that may come up, about the blessings that will abound.

His perfect love is something I never truly knew until now. I always thought I had to live up to something, to be something more than who I am - this year I saw Him and heard Him. I am His creation - perfectly made by Him. I seek Him so that I may draw closer to Him because closer to Him reveals an eternal perspective that brings me great joy. He loves me. He loves you.

So on this first week of the first month of a new year I am focusing on Him. My praise is for Him and all that He has shown me, all that He has blessed me with - my health (even where I prayed the Why? the Why me? the Why now? the Why not me? - He was never letting go of me. He saw a better plan for me, He saw me as more than what I saw and in that truth my heart almost burst with love.);

my husband (He saw M years before we met. He saw our path. He saw the man who stood beside me when Cancer knocked, when our family path shifted, when I made stupid decisions as a twenty year old with finances, when I stumble and He still led M to love me, to want to work daily on marriage and to make a covenant relationship here on earth that is celebrated in the Heavens.);

my family (we were sent K when we had no idea how to raise a teenager; when we were questioning our abilities, when we thought we'd never have a family, He sent us the most amazing girl that we have been blessed to see become an amazing young woman);

my talents (I never, not once, not ever expected to be able to draw/write and have it bought, purchased, celebrated so that we could raise monies for our future children - we had thought we wouldn't even have children and now, thanks to God and all of you we are closer to a new reality than ever before - my heart aches on this one, the gratefulness I feel is something that makes me speechless....)

So yes, this focus is for Him. I pray for each of you, my Royal loves, that you are able to seek Him, He is there; and that in your quest you find that having Him there makes all the difference. He makes broken things beautiful, He breathes life into a weary soul and when you come alive....there is a freedom unlike any other.

Today this faith laden message is one that I will return to & I hope you do to....

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13

Focus - do you struggle as well?

“It’s not what’s happening to you now or what has happened in your past that determines who you become. Rather, it’s your decisions about what to focus on, what things mean to you, and what you’re going to do about them that will determine your ultimate destiny.”

-Anthony Robbins

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Yes. Focus.

We hear this from the get go. We must focus on the task at hand. What we don’t often hear or process is which task truly deserves my focus?What we choose to do with our time. The selection of the task is such an important thing, that the moment that we discover perhaps another task would be better or that we should shift our focus we find it easy to get a little lost. When a task is complete, yes that feeling of accomplishment is phenomenal but then we are met with that beginning question all over again. Each time the question leads us into the direction that determines who we are.

I often focus on the wrong thing, then have to turn re-evaluate what means the most to me. I over analyze and question myself too often. My decision of focusing on things that are mundane can be devastating. I feel like I’ve lost time, I’ve wasted opportunities, and that I’ve let myself down. I see those signs that say to “make each moment count” and for a fleeting moment I feel like I messed up & my moments become worthless.

As a Type A/Creative person this is beyond annoying. I cannot explain the frustration with wanting to focus, complete the task all the while this huge part of me that relishes creative freedom tells me to just relax and let it all go. What a war my own mind wages daily…comical if you relish the highly confused, over organized, lackadaisical writer.

However, just recently I took one of those moments to focus on “focusing”. I pondered how I often get sidetracked, how I allow self-doubt to slip in and how I know that I have every bit within me to accomplish my dreams and I found something…You see making each moment count is great, but really, my newest epiphany is that for me it’s the fact that I must accept that each moment of my life is inherently valuable. I don’t need to focus on making each moment count, they already matter. I just need to remember that focus as a verb is one exceptional word: (of a person or their eyes) Adapt to the prevailing level of light and become able to see clearly.

So long as I adapt to see clearly, then my focus is spot on.